how able are you to adapt with change in your life ?

**marwen** · 12-29-2011

How fast do you adapt with change in your life.
Our life can change : from school to work; from teenage days to being married and having the responsibility to care about a family. Our friends can change. We may be living with siblings and with parents, and then one day this all changes and we see our family members once a year. Spouse and children will replace parents. One day, we may lose a person that we loved too much and that we think a big part of our life is based on his existence, but in one second he leaves.
Our life can change dramatically after a event or an accident (not always as tragic as we thought) forcing us to adapt to a new way of life.
Have you ever been in a situation when you say : "I have to forget what I lost, my previous way of living will never be possible. And I have to accept the change ."

What do you do in such situations ? How fast do you adapt ? what are the things that you think will make you strong and brave ? Any experience do you have ?

**Ğħαrєєвαħ** · 12-29-2011

Wa Alaaykum As'Salaam

Well, it's part of dunya, you have to learn to adapt one way or another by the help of Allaah SWT

Originally Posted by marwen

How fast do you adapt ?

Generally, I believe this would take a while, this reminds me of our prophet Muhammad (SAW), years after his wife Khadija (RA) had left al dunya, he (SAW) would remember her, as i'm sure your aware of the time he saw the necklace of Khadija (RA) and picked it up and began to cry. Not sure if it answered the question though.

Originally Posted by marwen

what are the things that you think will make you strong and brave ?

Well, personally it would be to turn to Allaah and seek for his help, learning about the trials and tribulations the prophets (PBUT) went through and to apply those 'techniques' into ours, i mean surely they were amazing examples to learn from.

Originally Posted by marwen

Any experience do you have ?

As I'm sure we've all had experiences in life where we feel we won't make it, but as time passes, and the things that surround are a great support for us, it is possible to deal with them. Allaah doesn't burden us more than he knows our soul can bare, especially when the prophets (pbut) could bare huge trials.

I hope someone can provide better answers inshaa'Allaah..

**marwen** · 12-29-2011

^ The example of our beloved prophet(PBUH) remembering ummuna Khadija(RA) is very beautiful. Jazaki Allah Khayr for your reply.

**ardianto** · 12-30-2011

Assalamualaikum.

There are two kinds of "Changes in the life".

The first is changes in the life which happened suddenly dramatically, like get disaster or lose someone we love.

Yes, it's hard to adapt it. If we are not strong, we could get mental disorder.

The second is changes in the life which we know when it will happen, and becomes a phase in our life, like from student into worker, from unmarried man into married man, from young into old.

We can adapt it easily if we "know the field before we walk on it". It's means learn before.

If we are high school student we should learn about university life. How to enter university, how hard the entrance test, how study in university, etc.

If we are university student we should learn about working. How to get job, how to establish and manage a business. Also, work voluntary in a company to make us familiar with working environment.

And, if we want to get married, we should learn about marriage life. How to be good husband, how to treat wife, how to raise children, what are problem in marriage and how to solve, etc.

Insha Allah, it will make us easy to adapt.

**marwen** · 12-30-2011

Originally Posted by ardianto

We can adapt it easily if we "know the field before we walk on it"

I liked this explanation. Jazak Allah Khayr for your input my dear brother.

**ardianto** · 12-30-2011

Originally Posted by marwen

I liked this explanation. Jazak Allah Khayr for your input my dear brother.

Waiyyak .......

**Haya emaan** · 12-30-2011

walaikum assalam..

life is an ongoing process just like a car moving forward leaving one scene behind other to view the new ones.. every moment have some thing new for you and to reach the 'new destiny' you have to leave the 'old'. but unlike car life dont have reverse gear. accepting that these are the inevitable happenings of life and you cant avoid them can give strength to adopt these changes..
each of us wants to move forward in life and an urge to make progress in life also makes it easy to accept the change..

and as a Muslim it is a great blessing that we believe, every thing that happens is from Allah so we turn to Him and ask help only from Him.. we ask for strength in calamities of life, to bring more betterment when we have change in a phase of life, to help us to make compromises with the new situations..

yes there are certain changes that are really hard to adopt like some sort of accident or loosing some one in life. this is when a Muslim is tested by his Lord, a real test of our life..
in surah Al Araaf it is said
And we tested them with good (blessings) and evil (calamities) in order that they might turn back

and there are certain changes that just disturb us a little and then every thing seems normal.. like when we finish our school and enter a college or university.. this is because we see a great charm ahead in the next phase.. this is the key.. when you have such a change find new beauties and attractions in life ahead.. this will help slow down your pain of loosing the past..

A hadith that really helps me a lot and makes me feel so much blessed

The Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:
"Strange is the affair of the mu'min (the believer). Verily, all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the mu'min."

**marwen** · 12-30-2011

Jazaki Allah kulla khayr sister. The verse and the hadeeth you posted is really of a great benefit.

Originally Posted by muslima haya

when you have such a change find new beauties and attractions in life ahead.. this will help slow down your pain of loosing the past..

That's true, MashaAllah.

**cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn** · 12-31-2011

Alot of good stuff has already been said. Personally, I've learned that attachment to the past keeps you from adapting and moving forward, so does preoccupation with the future. The best way to adapt easily is to remain in the present. There is no other moment than the one you live right now. If one spends their time thinking about the past or the future they are not living the time they have now. No matter how dramatic, what happened happened and negativity about it happens when one thinks about changing what was or what could be, when they really are unable to. Just take the good from the past, even what is painful, and learn from it, apply it to the now, and see how the future (inshaAllah) is much better and pleasant.

; -cOsMic

**♥ Sofia ♥** · 12-31-2011

beautiful posts so far masha'Allah. taking all that has been said into context... allah (swt) is the best of planners and i'm the type of person who's just laid back and willing to accept that tbh. not saying others don't accept it but some people are very worrisome when it comes to change. i just like to think that things that surprise us will pass over sooner or later. there'll be more surprising events in our lives and while we need to deal with them appropriately (and there's nothing wrong with grieving and showing emotion either), there'll most probably be many more events as such and they need to be taken as life lessons in order to make us stronger - being too hard on yourself for things happening around you that you can't control isn't healthy.

**cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn** · 12-31-2011

Originally Posted by ♥ Sofia ♥

beautiful posts so far masha'Allah. taking all that has been said into context... allah (swt) is the best of planners and i'm the type of person who's just laid back and willing to accept that tbh. not saying others don't accept it but some people are very worrisome when it comes to change. i just like to think that things that surprise us will pass over sooner or later. there'll be more surprising events in our lives and while we need to deal with them appropriately (and there's nothing wrong with grieving and showing emotion either), there'll most probably be many more events as such and they need to be taken as life lessons in order to make us stronger - being too hard on yourself for things happening around you that you can't control isn't healthy.

Willingness to accept is surrendering

, it becomes easier and easier the more you do it doesn't it?. Alhamdullilah.
This does not mean it's not painful, when one feels pain it is because they negate what is.That's where worry comes in, a worrisome person, is usually a person who in one way or another wants to control things that they cannot. When u truly accept, it no longer hurts, it is then perceived in a much better way and one can clearly see the good behind what happened. This entire stay in the dunya is a test, what you make of it is your decision. When one goes through painful situations, it is very probable that one cause it themselves in one way or another. If it is something like the death of a loved one, no, one does not cause that, however, that pain is only there when it is not accepted. Once a person had mourned and they slowly stop hurting, it is progress, they come to accept that there's nothing they can do and a wise person will reflect on the situation.

anyway, lol I can keep going

but I'll stop.

-cOsMiC

**CosmicPathos** · 12-31-2011

^^ are you stealing 50% of my name? :S

**marwen** · 12-31-2011

Originally Posted by CosmicIntuition

Alot of good stuff has already been said. Personally, I've learned that attachment to the past keeps you from adapting and moving forward, so does preoccupation with the future. The best way to adapt easily is to remain in the present. There is no other moment than the one you live right now. If one spends their time thinking about the past or the future they are not living the time they have now. No matter how dramatic, what happened happened and negativity about it happens when one thinks about changing what was or what could be, when they really are unable to. Just take the good from the past, even what is painful, and learn from it, apply it to the now, and see how the future (inshaAllah) is much better and pleasant.

; -cOsMic

Jazaki Allah Khayran. Yes, past is important in the sense that we have to learn from it, but we have to look at it objectively and not stay attached to it emotionally.
I totally agree with what you said. But I'm not really sure I understood what you meant by the " ..." part

Originally Posted by ♥ Sofia ♥

beautiful posts so far masha'Allah. taking all that has been said into context... allah (swt) is the best of planners and i'm the type of person who's just laid back and willing to accept that tbh. not saying others don't accept it but some people are very worrisome when it comes to change. i just like to think that things that surprise us will pass over sooner or later. there'll be more surprising events in our lives and while we need to deal with them appropriately (and there's nothing wrong with grieving and showing emotion either), there'll most probably be many more events as such and they need to be taken as life lessons in order to make us stronger - being too hard on yourself for things happening around you that you can't control isn't healthy.

What you said is true sister Sofia and it's really beautiful to just relax and put our trust on Allah with total submission and acceptance. I really hope we all reach this level of iman, which is not really true for the most of us when we face real troubles .. me at least. May Allah give all of us sabr and serenity in all our affairs.