Family Help =(

[wafiya]

Salaam Everyone.

I have situation that I can't seem to figure out, Insh'Allah, I will keep it short and sweet.

I've been married for 5 years Al hamdu lillah, I was thrown out of my house because I reverted to Islam and found my self a husband...Mine and my mums relationship has not been very good, I've tried many times to patch things up with her, but she wasn't having any of it .... A couple of days ago my mum called me and said she was willing to accept me and my husband after 5 years of marriage.

Now the thing is I found out a week before that my brother is getting married this year....She asked me to be at the wedding....The thing is I know that alcohol will be served at the wedding, but if i don't go to the wedding mine and my mums relationship will be no more....because lets face it, she's only started to talk to me because she wants me to be at the wedding .... she is indian (famliy honour is very important)

So .... what do I do =( ....

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

You could go and just avoid the tables/areas where the actual alcohol is served? Maybe ask your mum to make an arrangement for an alcohol free area?

[Muslim Woman]

ask your mum to make an arrangement for an alcohol free area?

yes , it's a very good idea.

Sis , tell your mom to serve you & others halal items only in Halal food corner

[tigerkhan]

dont miss it but avoid anything haram there.

[Snowflake]

Sister,
Although the hadith below mentions 'sitting at a table where wine is being served', this does not literally mean a table per se, but a place. Other wise it would be ok to sit in a pub as long as there is no alcohol at your table.Other than alcohol there is likely to be music, dancing and free-mixing at the wedding. I've posted the rulings for attending such functions below. If the wedding has already passed then at least you know for the future.


Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever believes in Allaah and the last day, should not sit at a table where wine is being served." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2801; classed as saheeh in Saheeh al-Jaami', 6506

Attending wedding parties which involve some evils

Question: Celebrations nowadays are not free of some evils, such as songs, dancing, music, improper clothing, etc. My question is very important:
1- Is it permissible to attend and accept invitations to these occasions?
2- As 99% of these events are not free of songs, especially those that are accompanied by haraam musical instruments or indecent words, does this mean that we should have nothing to do with them and not attend any such occasions?
3- If we do not attend these parties, does that mean we are severing the ties of kinship, cutting ourselves off from people and causing enmity between us and them?
4- The scholars have stipulated that if we attend these celebrations we must denounce what goes on, but such denunciations receive no response and there is no real opportunity at such times which they claim are times of joy.
5- I hope that you can find the time to explain for us in detail about this matter which is so widespread nowadays.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

1 – It is not permissible to attend wedding parties that involve evil actions, such as singing that is accompanied by music or that includes indecent words. The fact that this is widespread among people does not mean that it is permissible and should not be denounced.

2 – Not attending these parties is not regarded as severing the ties of kinship, rather it is protecting oneself from seeing or hearing evil. Your family and relatives should understand that you would be keen to attend and take part, were it not for the evil things that they do.

3 – If a person who is invited to such an event knows that there will be evil things happening and that he is not able to denounce them, it is not permissible for him to attend.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/214): If a person is invited to a wedding feast in which evil things will take place, such as wine, musical instruments, etc, and he is able to attend and remove those evils, then he must attend and denounce them, because then he will be fulfilling two duties: accepting the invitation of his Muslim brother and removing evil. But if he is not able to denounce them then he should not attend. If he does not know about the evils until he gets there, he should remove them. If he cannot, then he should go away. Something similar was stated by al-Shaafa’i.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah:
If wedding parties are free of evils such as men mixing with women and indecent songs, or if you attend then these evils will be changed, then it is permissible to attend, so as to share in the occasion of joy. Rather it is obligatory to attend if there is some evil that you can remove.

But if there are evil things in these parties that you cannot denounce, then it is haraam to attend them because of the general meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And leave alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them) with it (the Qur’aan) lest a person be given up to destruction for that which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or intercessor besides Allaah” [al-An’aam 6:70]

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of Allaah without knowledge, and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the Verses of the Qur’aan) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell-fire)”

[Luqmaan 31:6]

And because of the many ahaadeeth which condemn singing and musical instruments.

From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 92.

And Allaah knows best.




Source 1: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/596
Source 2: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/22006