Married but love sum1 elseHELP

[Danni]

Salam. I'm in a terrible situation n I don't know what to do. It's not in Islam what I'm doing. I know that which is why I need help. I met sum1. 9years ago. N I've been seeing him up until this day. He gOt married 4 months before I met him only becOs his bro had got married so family made him choose a girl via pix. After wedding he stayed for 2weeks. N when he came back we met. When I met him he just seemed exactly what I'd been looking for. Perfect. Yes he slim n quitte dark skinned. Lol. U know Asian typical thinking. U have to be White. But for me his personality was much more important ti me n I was attracted to him. Then his wife came n he did ask before she came n I said I don't mind. Shes ur wife. U have to be a husband. I told him they u should also have a physical relationship. Basically I tried to be as nice as possible about his wife. I met her we used to talk. But then it got too much for her. Then she got pregnant n they had a son. I hot engaged by my family to my first cousin. Throughout the4 years I told him to marry me. Just get the nikah done. But he kept saying I dont know how to. Etc. I broke off engagement. There was a big conflict in family as u can imagine. He still didn't do anything about us marrying. I told a few family members about some proposals that I'd accept so if they wanted to ask then they could. then I went Pakistan to see my nana ji n i ended up agreeing to marry my ex fiancée brother. 2days ago I said no to my ex fiancé I'm front of whole family. But after 2days I agreed to his brother I don't know why. I'm still seeing him. After a year of my marriage I wanted to divorce my hubby cos I got pregnant with the1 I love. Wrong u know. But unfortunately had to get an abortion. He stayed with me n cried. But his wife was also pregnant. I did aak him to marry me then but he said uf family wil go mad. So anyway I've still been seeing him n now he wants to marry me. He's a singer Muslim. N I dong want people thinking I've gone with him for his fame n money. How I feel with him I don't feel like that with my husband. He can do wrong but I still will forgive him. N I believe that's how u should feel towards ur husband. N as I don't feel like that towards my hubby I want to divorce him. It's not fair on him or the other wife. He's. Asked his wife foe a divorce. They aren't even civil. He's been sick n has fainted twice n she hasnt helped him. So their relationship is definitely over. N he admits that he took me for granted but he can't live without me. What do I do. ??? If. I did love my hubby I wouldn't cheat on him. N me n the other guy didn't have a sexual relationship before my marriage. It started after. Altho he could have. He had 4 years to buthe didn't. Which is why I respect him more.

[Futuwwa]

It seems like you both married out of family pressure, without really wanting to. You did both mistakes by entering into those marriages. Divorce is a sometimes necessary evil, and much preferable to farcical marriages. Divorce your current husband and marry the man you love as soon as his divorce is over. It's the only feasible way forward. Repent of your sins by making your new marriage the good Islamic marriage you should have been in in the first place.

[Alpha Dude]

Sister,

You have a bigger problem than just marriage.

Your deen is much much more important. On the day of judgement, we will be questioned for all our deeds. Adultery is a massive crime against Allah. You should feel bad for what you have done. You should feel extremely bad and seek Allah's forgiveness over and over again and so should the person you love.

With regards to your marriage issue, my personal thought is that it is better for the fake marriages to end and for you guys to get married to each other as your behaviour is not fair on your current husband and nor is it fair on your lover's current wife.