Mahr is the right of a wife that should be given by the husband. But if the husband is not able to give at once, he may pay in installments. However, if the husband able to pay mahr, at once or in installment, but he doesn't want to pay, ...... it's not allowed.
Withhold the rights of other is an act that is not justified in Islam.
And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).
( سورة النساء , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #4)
O Prophet (Muhammad SAW)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),....( سورة الأحزاب , Al-Ahzab, Chapter #33, Verse #50)
And there will be no sin on you to marry them if you have paid their mahr to them....( سورة الممتحنة , Al-Mumtahana, Chapter #60, Verse #10)
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
Assalamu Aalykum 1. Is is obligatory to pay the full Mahr before meeting the wife? Can One make promise to pay it later on? And pay it partially? 2. In our society there is a tradition of asking wife to forgive Mahr, is it okai according to the sharia? 3. Some Scholar says no need to follow any school of Mazhab, one only has to follow the Quraan and Sunnah as shown by Prophet (SAW). Can you pls clarify.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.
The scholars agreed in a consensus that the husband is obliged to give a dowry to his wife, as Allaah Says (what means): {And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously.}[Quran 4:4] However, it is not a condition to pay the entire dowry or part of it in advance for the permissibility of consummating the marriage. Rather, it is permissible for the husband to consummate the marriage with his wife even if he did not define the exact amount of the dowry to her.
In this case, the wife is entitled to a dowry of women at the same social status like her if he consummated the marriage with her without specifying the dowry to her. There is a consensus about this among the scholars as stated by Ibn Taymiyyah .
Nonetheless, a wife has the right to prevent her husband from consummating the marriage with her until he pays her the advance dowry.
For more details, please refer to Fatwa 83635.
On the other hand, the husband has no right to oblige his wife to renounce her dowry. If she is forced by her husband to renounce it, then this is of no effect and the dowry remains her confirmed right and the husband is obliged to pay it to her. Furthermore, people’s traditions that contradict Sharee’ah should not be taken into account. However, if the wife renounces her dowry before possessing it – or gifts it to her husband after possessing it – with her own will and without being forced to do so, and she was an adult with a sound mind, then she has the right to do so. Notwithstanding, it is not permissible to agree from the beginning that she should renounce the dowry as it [dowry] is a condition for the validity of the marriage contract.
If the woman doesn't want the mahr then it's not necessary for making the marriage valid. Also Allah has given the woman the right to give the mahr (or portion of it) to the husband and the husband can then use it but with wholesome results, that is he shouldn't waste it. Howver a man shouldn't withhold the mahr from the wife. Nor should he marry someone (of a weak status) with the intention of not giving her her rightful due. Allah says about the orphan women: And they request from you, [O Muhammad], a [legal] ruling concerning women. Say, " Allah gives you a ruling about them and [about] what has been recited to you in the Book concerning the orphan girls to whom you do not give what is decreed for them - and [yet] you desire to marry them - and concerning the oppressed among children and that you maintain for orphans [their rights] in justice." And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allah is ever Knowing of it. (4:127)
Mahr is not a payment for purchase a woman from her wali, But mahr, as Fuqaha say, is the first sustenance that given by the husband to the wife.
The woman wali is not allowed to tell the man "if you want to marry my daughter you should give mahr in this amount. If you can't afford you can't marry her". Ask mahr is the woman's rights, not her parent rights because mahr is the woman's rights, not the woman parent's rights.
How much the mahr? depend on deal between the woman and the man. The woman can ask the amount that she want, but she should consider the ability of the man. If the man is rich, ask big amount is OK, but if the man is poor, just ask small amount. There was a case in Rasulullah (saw) period when a man gave a pair of sandal as mahr because he was poor. If the mahr is out of the man's ability, the man can negotiate about it, maybe to reduce the amount, maybe to pay in installment. But if the man able to give this amount, he should say "Okay".
Mahr is a requirement of Islamic marriage, and marriage is sunnah. So, it's not allowed to make difficulty in requirement that will make this sunnah failed.
How about women and parents who demanding mahr in insane amount as requirement to a marriage?. If they understand about marriage in Islam and its fiqh, they would not make difficulty with demanding insane amount like this.
Now about the question in tittle "is a marriage valid without mahr?". There was a case in Rasulullah (saw) perod which a man could not give mahr because he didn't have anything, and the woman did not mind. But that was in special condition, and I'm sure, nowadays the men must be have something that can be given as mahr although only in very small amount.
How much mahr in Indonesia?. Normally around US$50 - US$500, and mostly in form of gold. In my culture the women usually ask mahr in small amount because it will make them more appreciated by people. Demand mahr in huge amount will be regarded as materialistic behavior.
And women in my place do not mind with mahr in small amount because they know, after they married, they can demand anything from their husbands.
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, is His slave and Messenger.
agreed in a consensus that the husband is obliged to give a dowry to his wife, as Allaah Says (what means): {And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously.}[Quran 4:4] However, it is not a condition to pay the entire dowry or part of it in advance for the permissibility of consummating the marriage. Rather, it is permissible for the husband to consummate the marriage with his wife even if he did not define the exact amount of the dowry to her.
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