Cousine Marriage

[tina]

Assalamu Alaikum I am a Muslim and I am 23 years old I like my since I was 17 and I don't know if he likes me he lives in another country he does not know that I like him he is older then me when I went to there country I was to shy to talk to him. I wanted some advice what to do because my parents are looking for a guy for me and I cant even tell them because I have this fear in my heart that what if my parents refuse and I really respect my parents decision. So if I can get some serious answer it will be helpful because I want know more about cousins marriage

[ardianto]

Waalaikum salam

Although genetically risky, cousin marriage is permissible in Islam because cousin is not mahram. But, not every family can approve it. There are families that approve cousin marriage, there are families that do not approve cousin marriage.

Then if a girl likes a guy?. Women is not in position that propose marriage. If a woman has interest to a man she should not propose marriage, directly or through third party, because it's considered inappropriate in mostly cultures. But there is a way that women can do, send an 'invitation' to the men, and very suggested through thrid party that can send this 'invitation' subtly and covertly. In example, the third party seek a chance to chat with the guy and then tell him "Eh, bro, I notice that girl likes you. So, if you are looking for a wife, why not her?". In this matter if the guy like the girl too he would start to take an action. If not? then it could cause an awkward situation when they meet each other.

It's normal if you like someone. But it doesn't mean he must be likes you too. Even if a guy and a girl like each other, there is still possibility they can't get married.

So, young sister, if you like someone, you must be able too to accept the destiny if it turns out he is not for you.

[tina]

jazakallah khair ardianto for the advice it really helped and i will keep all the things in mind.

[crimsontide06]

I don't recommend you do this but I know of a friend(a guy who liked his girl cousin) who point blank asked her what she thought of cousin marriage, she told him she is against it because of the medical/genetic issues. It did disappoint him but he was fine with it and accepted her feelings. You could talk to your parents about it, maybe even the uncle/aunt? In this case since you are a woman, it would be easier to approach your family member(the uncle/aunt...whichever is the one who is your parents sibling).

[tina]

thank you for the advice but my uncle he is traveling from one place to another so it is hard to talk to him and they never accept love marriage in my family.