1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”
2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.
3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.
7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.
9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.
10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.
13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
Psychology often discusses mental health — but what’s not often discussed is a clear definition of mental strength. To me, mental strength means that you regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your circumstances. Developing mental strength is about finding the courage to live according to your values and being bold enough to create your own definition of success.
Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it requires hard work and commitment. It’s about establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and energy to self-improvement.Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple — often, true mental strength becomes most apparent in the midst of tragedy. Choosing to develop skills that increase your mental strength is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental strength. But here are five that can get you started:
1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs
We’ve all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our lives and the world in general. Core beliefs develop over time and largely depend upon our past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your behavior and emotions.
Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive. For example, if you believe that you’ll never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs — and inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore, your core beliefs may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs that are black and white, and then find exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are “always” or “never” true. Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it can change the entire course of your life.
2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely
Wasting brain power ruminating about things you can’t control drains mental energy quickly. The more you think about negative problems that you can’t solve, the less energy you’ll have leftover for creative endeavors. For example, sitting and worrying about the weather forecast isn’t helpful. If a major storm is headed your way, worrying about it won’t prevent it. You can, however, choose to prepare for it. Focus on what is only within your control.
Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems or setting goals.When your thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will become a habit.
3. Replace Negative Thoughts with Productive Thoughts
Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about our thoughts, increasing your awareness of your thinking habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggerated, negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever do anything right,” hold you back from reaching your full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control and influence your behavior.
Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with thoughts that are more productive. Productive thoughts don’t need to be extremely positive, but should be realistic. A more balanced thought may be, “I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.” Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but the process can be instrumental in helping you become your best self.
4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort
Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. In fact, mental strength requires you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about accepting your feelings without being controlled by them.
Mental strength also involves an understanding of when it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone if you want to continue to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.
Practice behaving like the person you’d like to become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could be more outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether you feel like it or not. Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort will help make your vision a reality, one small step at a time.
5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily
Today’s busy world doesn’t lend itself to making much time available for quiet reflection. Create time to reflect upon your progress toward developing mental strength. At the end of each day, ask yourself what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.
Developing mental strength is a work in progress. There is always room for improvement, and at times this will seem more difficult than at other times. Reflecting upon your progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Late of 2001 in an office room.
“You want to work as a salesman here, don’t you?”
“Yes, sir!”
“What’s your work experience?”
“I have worked in several job”
“Your first job?”
“I’ve ever had a travel bureau company”
“Really?. Where?”
“In … (street name)”
“Wait, … wait ! …. Do you mean that company?”
“Yes!”
“You were the owner?”
“Yes!”
(silent) “How can a boss like you want to work as salesman?”
“I was a boss, but now I am not a company boss anymore”
He looked at my face and seemed like he didn’t believe it. But I was not kidding, work as salesman was the job which I expected in that time, and I had my own reason.
I was born in upper middle class family, it made my life so easy and so happy. And my dream job was become a business owner.
I established my first business when I was 24, almost three years before I got married. But I made big mistake in business. Then when I entered my third years of my married life, I lost my companies. And also lost a house, land, cars. My wife was working a bank in that time, but I didn't want to run from my responsibility as a husband. So I tried to do anything that I could do. I tried to start a micro business, but failed. I worked in my friend's company, economic crisis happened. I lost a job again.
But I tried not to surrender, especially because I already had a kid. I tried to start micro business few times, and failed few times too. Finally I tried to become property broker.
I was not a success property broker, also I felt not comfortable with this job. I wanted to be a business owner again. So, after thinking long I decided to become a salesman.
Became a salesman was a decision which criticized by some people around me. They asked me why didn't I asked a job from my family?. Even my mother was angry because I refused a job behind the desk which my relative offered to me, and chose to work as salesman which I must travel around the city.
But I had my own reason why I chose to work as salesman. I realized that my failure in business was because I had lack of sense of entrepreneurship. If I wanted to be a businessman again, at first I should increase my sense of entrepreneurship. And work as salesman could give me a chance for it.
Work as salesman was not an easy job. I must travel around the city on my motorbike. I had sold my car in that time to fulfill my family needs. I met many people that mostly of them said "no!" when I offered the product. I gained only small amount of money. But I still believe that the brighter future would come.
Mid of 2002. Someone offered me to take over courier agent company. Not expensive, but I didn't have money in that time. So I borrowed money from my sister to take over it.
Alhamdulillah, this was my turning point. Started with just few customers, I could get more customers. Even later I was praised by head office due to progress which I made in sales. My sense of entrepreneurship which sharpened when I worked as salesman really helped me.
I cannot describe myself a success businessman now. My income is not so big, actually. But Alhamdulillah I can fulfill my family needs and can give job to my employees. Compared with some of my friends I still lower. But I do not feel inferior, and do not feel superior toward those who 'lower' than me. In Shaa Allah, I will try to do better and better.
I don't know what will happen tomorrow and in the future. Maybe I will failed again, maybe I will fall again. But I promise, every time I fall, I will try to stand and walk again. I don't want to lose my honor as a male, as a man.
Live as a man is not easy. We bear big responsibility. We must face many problems and obstacles in our life journey. Must be we face failure, must be there are time when we lose, when we fall. But always try to stand and walk again. Maybe people will call you loser, maybe people will insult you. But this is not dishonor for you because the real dishonor is when you give up.
So, brothers, don't ever lose your honor as a man. Don't ever give up to the problems, to the obstacle in your life.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Greetings and peace be with you Signor;
I find a great mental strength; by trying to offer up my problems to God. About three years ago I was diagnosed with non Hodgkins Lymphoma, a cancer which had killed our friend, after the initial shock, I prayed for the wisdom, strength, peace and serenity to do God's will, no matter what the cancer has in store for me. I can only say I have experienced profound moments of peace, I have never had a moments worry about cancer.
I shall be going out on the streets this Friday until about 3 am, I am a volunteer with our local Street Pastor team, we come into contact with drunks, fights, angry people, wonderful people and sadly a number of troubled people. We have choices, on the one hand we have phones with a direct link to the police, we do not have to do anything we feel threatened by, on the other hand, we just go, and we pray as we go.
I recall one fight with about a dozen drunk lads about 2 am, as we approached I saw a man punched to the ground, another man lay on the floor and was being kicked, a lady was punched in the face. Somehow we were in the middle of all this, other people were coming to see some action, and trying to provoke more fighting. I am not sure what we did, but the fight came to a stop, we stayed with them for about 20 minutes or so, when it came time to go, they were shaking our hands and thanking us for being there. There were three of us there, our ages ranged from 62 to 75, the other two were ladies, whom I have a profound respect for.
We could not do this without putting our trust in God first.
In the spirit of striving for peace and kindness in our town
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Greetings Eric,Hope you are doing well!
format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H
I find a great mental strength; by trying to offer up my problems to God.
I used to have a belief "I am the problem and I am the solution",to anyone who is ignorant of Allah's might and power,this sounds perfectly fine.However,Later in my life I met a brother who assisted me to a better train of thought.So I made a slight alteration to statement,which comes with an enormous effect(to be honest,I am still learning how to implement this in my life),now it becomes
I am the problem and Allah has the solutions
Surely,To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
format_quote Originally Posted by Signor
I am the problem and Allah has the solutions
I've ever thinking that I was a trouble for some people. But later their love realized me that they saw me as just a trouble maker, not the trouble itself.
So I prefer to say I am in problem and Allah has the solutions
We are not a problem for Allah, we are not a problem for anyone. We can make mistake and cause problems for the others. But do not ever regard ourselves as problem because it will close our heart and we will never able to love the others.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
I am in problem and Allah has the solutions
I guess,my statement got a little bit misunderstood.It shouldn't be taken literally,basically "I am the problem" means I become the cause/creator of a problem(Debatable Issue:Now the trouble could be a trial/test or it could save me from an unseen calamity,a result of my own deeds so on and so forth,Unseen possibilities are endless)The nearest thing I can provide you is with this verse:
“Whatever of good befalls you, it is from Allah; and whatever of ill befalls you, it is from yourself.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 79]
To achieve the greatest success, you have to embrace the prospect of failure.
The sweetest victory is the one that’s most difficult. The one that requires you to reach down deep inside, to fight with everything you’ve got, to be willing to leave everything out there on the battlefield—without knowing, until that do-or-die moment, if your heroic effort will be enough.
Society doesn’t reward defeat, and you won’t find many failures documented in history books. The exceptions are those failures that become steppingstones to later success. Such is the case with Thomas Edison, whose most memorable invention was the light bulb, which purportedly took him 1,000 tries before he developed a successful prototype. “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” a reporter asked. “I didn’t fail 1,000 times,” Edison responded. “The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
Unlike Edison, many of us avoid the prospect of failure. In fact, we’re so focused on not failing that we don’t aim for success, settling instead for a life of mediocrity. When we do make missteps, we gloss over them, selectively editing out the miscalculations or mistakes in our life’s résumé.
“Failure is not an option,” NASA flight controller Jerry C. Bostick reportedly stated during the mission to bring the damaged Apollo 13 back to Earth, and that phrase has been etched into the collective memory ever since.
To many in our success-driven society, failure isn’t just considered a non-option—it’s deemed a deficiency, says Kathryn Schulz, author of Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error. “Of all the things we are wrong about, this idea of error might well top the list,” Schulz says. “It is our meta-mistake: We are wrong about what it means to be wrong. Far from being a sign of intellectual inferiority, the capacity to err is crucial to human cognition.”
Life’s Greatest Teacher
When we take a closer look at the great thinkers throughout history, a willingness to take on failure isn’t a new or extraordinary thought at all. From the likes of Augustine, Darwin and Freud to the business mavericks and sports legends of today, failure is as powerful a tool as any in reaching great success.
“Failure and defeat are life’s greatest teachers [but] sadly, most people, and particularly conservative corporate cultures, don’t want to go there,” says Ralph Heath, managing partner of Synergy Leadership Group and author of Celebrating Failure: The Power of Taking Risks, Making Mistakes and Thinking Big. “Instead they choose to play it safe, to fly below the radar, repeating the same safe choices over and over again. They operate under the belief that if they make no waves, they attract no attention; no one will yell at them for failing because they generally never attempt anything great at which they could possibly fail (or succeed).”
However, in today’s post-recession economy, some employers are no longer shying away from failure—they’re embracing it. According to a recent article in BusinessWeek, many companies are deliberately seeking out those with track records reflecting both failure and success, believing that those who have been in the trenches, survived battle and come out on the other side have irreplaceable experience and perseverance. They’re veterans of failure.
The prevailing school of thought in progressive companies—such as Intuit, General Electric, Corning and Virgin Atlantic—is that great success depends on great risk, and failure is simply a common byproduct. Executives of such organizations don’t mourn their mistakes but instead parlay them into future gains.
“The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear,’ ” says Heath. “To do their work well, to be successful and to keep their companies competitive, leaders and workers on the front lines need to stick their necks out a mile every day. They have to deliver risky, edgy, breakthrough ideas, plans, presentations, advice, technology, products, leadership, bills and more. And they have to deliver all this fearlessly—without any fear whatsoever of failure, rejection or punishment.”
Reaching Your Potential
The same holds true for personal quests, whether in overcoming some specific challenge or reaching your full potential in all aspects of life. To achieve your personal best, to reach unparalleled heights, to make the impossible possible, you can’t fear failure, you must think big, and you have to push yourself.
When we think of people with this mindset, we imagine the daredevils, the pioneers, the inventors, the explorers: They embrace failure as a necessary step to unprecedented success.
But you don’t have to walk a tightrope, climb Mount Everest or cure polio to employ this mindset in your own life. When the rewards of success are great, embracing possible failure is key to taking on a variety of challenges, whether you’re reinventing yourself by starting a new business or allowing yourself to trust another person to build a deeper relationship.
“To achieve any worthy goal, you must take risks,” says writer and speaker John C. Maxwell. In his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success, he points to the example of legendary aviator Amelia Earhart, who set several records and achieved many firsts in her lifetime, including being the first female pilot to fly solo over the Atlantic Ocean. Although her final flight proved fateful, Maxwell believes she knew the risk—and that the potential reward was worth it. “[Earhart’s] advice when it came to risk was simple and direct: ‘Decide whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying.’ ”
Of course, the risks you take should be calculated; you shouldn’t fly blindly into the night and simply hope for the best. Achieving the goal or at least waging a heroic effort requires preparation, practice and some awareness of your skills and talents.
Easing Into a Fearless Mindset
“One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone,” Heath says. Although you might fail incredibly, you might succeed incredibly—and that’s why incredible risk and courage are requisite. Either way, you’ll learn more than ever about your strengths, talents and resolve, and you’ll strengthen your will for the next challenge.
If this sounds like dangerous territory, it can be. But there are ways to ease into this fearless mindset. The first is to consciously maintain a positive attitude so that, no matter what you encounter, you’ll be able to see the lessons of the experience and continue to push forward.
“It’s true that not everyone is positive by nature,” says Maxwell, who cites his father as someone who would describe himself as a negative person by nature. “Here’s how my dad changed his attitude. First he made a choice: He continually chooses to have a positive attitude. Second, he’s continually reading and listening to materials that bolster that attitude. For example, he’s read The Power of Positive Thinking many times. I didn’t get it at first, so once I asked him why. His response: ‘Son, I need to keep filling the tank so I can stay positive.’ ”
Heath recommends studying the failures and subsequent reactions of successful people and, within a business context, repeating such histories for others. “Reward them and applaud their efforts in front of the entire organization so everyone understands it is OK to fail. So employees say to themselves, ‘I see that Bill, the vice president of widgets, who the president adores, failed, and he is not only back at work, but he is driving a hot new sports car. I can fail and come to work the next day. Bill is proof of it.’ ”
Finally, Heath stays motivated by the thought that, “if I become complacent and don’t take risks, someone will notice what I am doing and improve upon my efforts over time, and put me out of work. You’ve got to keep finding better ways to run your life, or someone will take what you’ve accomplished, improve upon it, and be very pleased with the results. Keep moving forward or die.”
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Greetings and peace be with you Signor;
“One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone,”
My greatest sporting achievements have been operating outside both my strength and comfort zones. When you attempt something you have never done before, you automatically earn the right to fail, so failure is not a problem, nobody can achieve everything.
Afterwards you have time to reflect, did I do my very best, could I do better, is there something else I could try?
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
The OP reminds me of the principle of CONTROL - INFLUENCE - ACCEPT.
There are some (but not many) things in life which we have complete control over.
Many more things we cannot control, but we can at least influence.
Other things are completely outside our control or influence and we simply have to learn to accept them and let them go - no matter how much we dislike them.
We often waste much time, energy and emotions battling with the latter group - trying to change things we really have no power over.
The trick is to look at each situation and problem and discern which of the three it falls under and what we should do with it ... and to invest our energy and time into the things we CAN change or make better.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
If you dwell on negative thoughts (ruminate), it often helps to distract yourself and get busy with other things. Doesn't really matter whether that's running, baking, praying, reading, meeting a friend etc - as long as it takes your mind from the negative cycle.
Personally I like to be physically active. Something about the rhythm of running or walking, which put my mind at ease.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
I have used some strange mind tricks; to push my limits of endurance; so far beyond what I thought was possible, sorry its a bit of a ramble.
I used to do a lot of cycling, when I was in my thirties, and changed from riding a geared bike to riding a fixed wheel. For those of you not familiar, this is a bike with only one gear, and it has no free wheel. When you are going downhill, you need to turn the peddles round in excess of 220 rpm; to get over 40mph. To put this in perspective, when you see riders sprinting for the finish on the Tour De France, they peddle at around 130 – 140 rpm, about a third slower than riding a fixed downhill. But, they do use far higher gears, so they will go faster than 40mph.
When I changed to riding fixed, I entered the Paris Brest Paris, a 1200k event; ( about 750 miles in 84 hours), leaving me three months to train for it. I only managed about 500k of a 600k event; I then entered a 1,000k event and managed about 650k. There was now a month to go, and I had failed on two shorter events.
Lots of people were telling me I was daft, to even consider the ride on a fixed, especially after failing two shorter events. But failure was not a problem for me, this had nothing to do with other people, it was my challenge. If I succeeded, it was nothing to do with them, if I failed, it was nothing to do with them.
Now here is the mind trick, which is totally daft, but it worked, I decided I would ride about 200k to the start of the event, then ride another 200k home after, making about 1600k in total. This would be about a 1,000k more than I had done, there was no back up plan, it was all or nothing on one gear.
By adding an extra third onto the target, kind of made the 1,200k seem like no big deal, my recollection was the complete ride was relatively easy. Despite turning the peddles round some 225,000 times in 84 hours, and about another 75,000 revs to and from the event. Over two thousand people from all over the world; entered this event, I was the only one to ride it on a fixed in 1983.
I often use the single gear fixed wheel, to help my understanding of ‘One God’
You can have a bike with a dozen gears, constantly changing gear to suit the terrain, when you have a long decent, you just stop peddling and freewheel.
When you ride a fixed, you strap your feet to the peddles, you are locked to them, you only have one gear, this is the same for uphill, downhill and the flat, and you have to peddle every inch of the way.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Nice posts mashaa'Allah.
Sources?
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
I have tried many things, and I have failed many times.
But I got a great lesson. Do not thinking "If they can do it, I can do it too", but thinking "If they can do it, I should learn how they do it".
One cause of failure is do something without the right technique. It's because we believe if other people can do it, we can do it too. But we forget, other people do it in proper way, while we are not.
There are many business that failed because this. Some people see other people are success in a business field. Then they belive if they build same business they will be success too. But they are failed because they do not really know how to manage this business.
So, try to learn the right way to do, before we do something.
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
Ways to Have Happiness Back in Your Depressing World
How many times have you heard the phrase: “Happiness is a choice?†Well, I’m here to tell you that it is indeed correct. In a world of horrific events discussed every five minutes on the television, radio and in the newspapers, it’s no wonder so many people are sad when the state of the world is as it is. It’s times like these that we need to view life from a new perspective, to not let outside circumstances, the media and other people’s negative attitudes affect us in our daily lives. With this in mind I’ve come up with 10 ways to bring the happiness back into your life, to help gain a better perspective on what is happening around you, and to help you to live a brighter, more vibrant life.
1. Always surround yourself with people who love you.
Sounds obvious, but it’s true! If you surround yourself with those who love, nurture and care for you, you will know that even through the toughest times you will always be supported. However, if you surround yourself with negative, soul destroying and energy zapping people who are only out for themselves, your world will look completely the opposite. When love is around you, you will feel it, and because of that you will provide the same love to others who may need it from you. Sometimes, it will be necessary to move away from those who drain you and bring you down. That’s OK. Each person we meet is there to teach us a valuable lesson, one way or another.
2. Distract yourself by doing something you love.
What do you love to do? When was the last time you did something you really loved to do? If you’ve answered, “I don’t know,†to both of those questions, then I’d suggest taking some time out to remember what it is that inspires you, lifts you and fills you with passion. In a world with so much sadness we need to remember that following your bliss and doing something you love will have a deep and meaningful effect on you and those around you. It’s doing things you love that brings you joy and brings the happiness back in an otherwise cold world.
3. Smile, laugh and play as often as you can.
Try not to take life too seriously. I know that ‘seriousness’ is required in some circumstances, but if you continually treat life as a struggle or as something painful then it will continue to be that way. Let your true self come out by remembering what it was like as a child to be carefree, to laugh, to smile and to play regularly. If you can learn to bring more play into your life and the lives of those you love, you’ll see that life no longer has to be depressing or sad. Just because the rest of the world is like that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit!
4. Be grateful for what you already have in life.
This is always so important and no doubt you’ve seen it many times before. Being thankful or grateful for what you already have in life is one of the main things to remember when living in a depressing and sad world. To put the happiness back in your life you have to be thankful daily. Remember, if you are reading this you probably have a roof over your head, or you have food to eat, or water readily available and most of all you are able to wake up every morning with good health. It is easy to take these things for granted, especially here in the Western world. So instead of worrying or wishing for things you do not have, always be grateful for everything you already do have.
5. Write down your thoughts to calm the mind.
Journaling or writing is a powerful way to unburden the mind of all the sadness or depression around us. So often those who get weighed down with depression or mental health issues feel that they have no one to talk to or they are unable to express themselves openly. Writing is a perfect way to help with getting happiness back. It can release any stress, worries or anxiety, and once you have written down your thoughts—however negative or sad they are—you will feel a hundred times better for letting it out. If you can write every day, putting down your thoughts and feelings and sharing them on paper, you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders. This is one habit I would recommend if you want to be happier and healthier.
6. Go back to nature.
Nature is beautiful and if it’s been a while since you stepped out in it and really took in its natural wonder and magnificence, then perhaps you should take some time out and absorb it fully. There is no need to go on a great hike or head miles away to truly embrace nature, just stepping out into your back garden early in the morning or late in the evening will do the same thing. Sitting and listening to the birds, watching as they go about their daily routines, feeding their young, catching worms or singing their wonderful songs will soon have you fully aware of their presence. It’s not until you really sit, listen and observe that you become in awe of how nature just gets on with life in the only way it knows how, one day at a time.
7. Do something for someone else.
A lot of what has happened in the world to make it depressing has happened because we have forgotten to love and forgotten to give. To get the happiness back in your life, it might be time to start looking at how much giving you actually do. When someone asks you to do something for them, how do you react? Are you resentful, offhand or plain rude? If you have answered “yes†to any of those, then perhaps it’s time to re-think how you are to those you love. Giving does not have to be about money, it can just be giving back time, or helping someone move, or lending a loved one a book. It can be anything. I’ve always felt that if you aren’t giving then you aren’t living because that’s what life is all about!
8. Always look for the good in the world rather than the bad.
If you look for reasons to be happy and to get back to happiness then you will find them. So rather than focusing on what’s bad in the world, perhaps it’s time to shift your perspective and focus on the good around you. Remember that your perceptions usually determine your reality, so make sure they are good ones!
9. Trust your gut instinct.
You are the only one who knows and understands what is right or wrong for you. To keep the depressing world from hammering on your door, remember to follow your intuition and have faith that you are going in the right direction. It’s when you believe that you can survive anything that you will have happiness back in your life. Don’t forget that there are no mistakes in life, there are only opportunities to grow.
10. Be the change you want to see in the world.
The world may be a depressing state of affairs, especially when you listen to negative people and the media. If you want to see a change in the world and have happiness back in your life, then start changing your own beliefs and attitude. It’s when you change that you can become what you want to see in the world. If you are more loving, then you will experience that more within your daily life. If you want more happiness then be happy, if you want more money then give money—the list is endless!
1. Quit procrastinating on your goals.
Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it. Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most. Get a hold of yourself and have discipline. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier. What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.
The secret to getting ahead is simply getting started. Starting, all by itself, is usually sufficient to build enough momentum to keep the ball rolling. So forget about the finish line and just concentrate on taking your first step. Say to yourself, “I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step.” All those small steps will add up and you’ll actually get to see changes fairly quickly.
2. Quit blaming others and making excuses.
Stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem. Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your life. Blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.
3. Quit trying to avoid change.
If nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning. Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us. Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success. Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.
And don’t forget, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace it, and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
4. Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.
If you try to control everything, and then worry about the things you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and misery.
Some forces are out of your control, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. The best thing you can do is to let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can – like your attitude.
5. Quit talking down to yourself.
Nothing will bring you down quicker than berating yourself. The mind is a superb instrument if used right, but when used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive. Be aware of your mental self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.
As Henry Ford once stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” One of the major causes of why we fail is due to self-doubt and negative self-talk. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones, over time you will change the trajectory of your life.
6. Quit criticizing others.
The negativity you bleed out toward others will gradually cripple your own happiness. When you truly feel comfortable with your own imperfections, you won’t feel threatened or offended by the imperfections you see in other people.
So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself. Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.
7. Quit running from your problems and fears.
Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back. Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them. The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.
Fears, in particularly, stop you from taking chances and making decisions. They keep you confined to just the small space where you feel completely comfortable. But your life’s story is simply the culmination of many small, unique experiences, many of which require you to stretch your comfort zone. Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing.
Bottom line: Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.
8. Quit living in another time and place.
Some people spend their entire lives trying to live in another time and place. They lament about what has been, what they could have done, or what might become. However, the past is gone, and the future doesn’t exist. No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.
One of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to what we’re doing right now, today.
We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present. Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation. Live for now. Notice the beauty unfolding around you.
9. Quit trying to be someone you’re not.
One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.
10. Quit being ungrateful.
Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, perfectly. So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will. And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.
No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
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