It is hard to explain my situation at the moment. I am a 25 year old Christian girl that has an interest in Islam; I am not looking to convert, at least not at this time, but part of me wants me to be more Islamic and to explore it. Sorry, I can't really explain it.
Would it be offensive for a non-Muslim to dress in an Islamic fashion? (Hijab, Abaya, etc.)
What would be classed as an “appropriate” way for me to dress?
What would be classed as an “appropriate” way for me to act? (at home, in public)
Besides not eating pork and drinking alcohol, what other things shouldn't a woman do?
I do have a boyfriend, what are the "rules" that I should know when with him?
Are there other "rules" about what I should and shouldn't wear, e.g. gloves?
If anyone can think of anything else, in relation to my questions or in general, I would love to know.
I have moved the post to the general part of the forum. Because my questions are more focused towards people who are already Muslims, I didn't feel that it was in the right place - being in a section for people who are asking questions to explore Islam.
Pleased to meet you. (smile) You know, there are a variety of Muslims and understandings of Islam in the world, so you'll probably hear many different answers to your questions. This site is a relatively conservative one, and the answers tend to be in that direction. (smile) Islam, you know, is a struggle to understand God's Will and do what is pleasing to Him. (smile) And when you do what you believe is pleasing to God, you feel peaceful and harmonious inside.
(smile) What is absolutely God's Will is somewhat up for debate. Only God truly Knows. And so, you will find differences in opinions in what God's Will is. (smile) What is truly important, though, is that we humans try our limited best.
How to dress? (smile) You'll find debates on this. I'd suggest you try different clothes out and see what feels right to you. In each environment, we have to take different factors into account. For instance, an abaya works fine in a hot and dry environment like Saudi Arabia (and I enjoyed wearing one when I visited there), but it gets dirty, is cold, and is actually less modest in a climate like Canada's. (smile) Stout below-the-knee boots, a mid calf-length skirt (with leggings) with a layered top and a long (but not too long) and cinched coat make sense in a winter in my country. (smile) I have an Egyptian friend who loves her abayas, but they are so impractical here. We went for a walk, and her abaya got wet and dirty, she had to keep lifting it to get over the piled up snow, exposing her legs, her shoes were too flimsy and she was cold (the wind blew up her abaya, and loose coat).
So I would suggest that look at your environment, and look at what clothes are reasonably-priced options for you, and how you can adapt them to your needs, and try to dress in a way that does not accentuate your body, and that is considered conservative where you are.
Appropriate behaviour? (smile) Again, you have to examine this. Because each culture has it's norms and methods of being polite. Basically, a Muslim should be polite and caring of others. Should respect the boundaries of decent behaviour between men and women. Should try to be clean, and respectful towards the natural world that God Created. We should try to understand God's Will in everything we do. (smile) How exactly to do this? Well, this is the work of a lifetime, my dear! Start from where you are, and slowly try to understand and improve. (laugh!) Even Muslims of many years have so much to learn, and struggle with these questions. (smile) And we never learn it all to perfection, you know. We are all just travellers working on walking the walk to the best that we can.
Mmm, regarding your boyfriend… well, I suppose this depends on what you mean by boyfriend. If you mean someone you are engaging in sexual activity with outside of marriage, then this is a definite no-no for a Muslim. (smile) This is something that is very clearly said in the Qur'an, and there are no differences of opinion on this. But if you mean that there is a young man who is interested in marrying you and building a family with you, and you want to get to know him better, then this is something a little more up for interpretation, I think. Frankly, in a North American societal context, it is very hard to find a spouse through community contacts. (sigh) Communities are rather fractured and anonymous these days. Often, we barely know our extended families and our close neighbours, unfortunately. And looking online for a spouse is fraught with dangers. So what to do?
Personally, I think that it is not unreasonable for men and women who are looking to marry to meet one another in public places, especially in a group setting, or under the watch of relatives. If people want to meet up and talk in a cafeteria at university, or go out to a restaurant with a group of friends, or walk in well-frequented parks or suchlike, I don't think this is a bad thing. (mildly) You should not be alone with a person of the opposite sex, to avoid sliding into behaviours that you may regret. But in public, you may get to know another person, I think. See how they treat you, their friends, your friends, their relatives, your relatives, waiters, bus drivers, professors, colleagues, whatever. I would strongly suggest you get opinions on any young man you are interested in from other people, especially those that care about you.
(smile) And then, if you feel you want to get to the next level of intimacy, then marriage is what is prescribed for us. (mildly) You don't have to consummate the marriage immediately, you know. If you want to take time to get to know each other in a more intimate setting, you can do this. And you also have recourse to contraceptives, if you want to delay childbearing till you get to know each other better. A woman can also stipulate many things in her marriage contract (including the right to declare divorce without intermediaries), if she so chooses. So really, there is no reason to avoid marriage because you are afraid it'll not work out, or you'll be incompatible (reasons I've heard for living together without marriage).
(smile) Anyway, I hope this helps you, a little.
May God, the Loving and Kind, Gently Guide you towards what Pleases Him, and Bring you ever closer to inner harmony and peace.
Would it be offensive for a non-Muslim to dress in an Islamic fashion? (Hijab, Abaya, etc.)
"Hijab is not restricted to Muslims only – anyone can wear it. It is a sign of modesty, character and confidence because you do not need to show your skin to be beautiful. You are beautiful on the inside. No matter race, nationality or religion, hijab is a beautiful thing to put on. Here in United World College UK where there are 90 different nationalities, we respect each other's cultures and religions. And the hijab is one of them."-Aziza Aznizan
Please Share your hijab experience with us using the following link:http://worldhijabday.com/submit-story Or e-mail us at [email protected] #WorldHijabDay Feb. 1st
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A few questions from an interested girl
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