Salam. You may have read my older posts, you might not, either way, here's the story. A year ago exactly, my family moved to a different city and nobody was comfortable. I had to switch schools and I hated it. I left and went to a different school but my family decided to move back home. Around this time, I was just getting adjusted to our new home and now miss it greatly. There, my father was making around 120k a year and things were better. Here, he makes roughly 80k and our standard of living has plummeted, which plays a pivotal role in my depression. Most importantly, though, when I left for University, I realized it was not what I wanted and my marks were poor. I decided I should take my grades and go back to College, it'll be slower and more realistic for me. When I pitched this idea to my dad, he was supportive. When my mother and brother found out, they bashed me with negativity and shut me down. Saying I'm worthless and don't know where I'm going. Although I feel like I'm making the right choice. At this point, I've been depressed for months and this has been the breaking point. Suicidal thoughts take over and I feel like there's no point. I pray and pray, and I hope for change but whats the point? I would consult my older brother, although he is lost in weed smoke and drug habits. I come from very religious parents and his ways would give them heart attacks. I have to live with secrets of my own siblings and friends while being forced to live a life I hate. I never touch drugs nor alchohol, I have no way relieve my stress besides going for walks but that can only do so much. What's the point? This is hopeless and my life is ****. I don't know what to do anymore.
You have posted this troubles you are facing previously. I see that it is roughly the same and not much is different. (Hence why there is little response to this post).
You have to change your perception of things. The world does not owe you anything, and it will be what you make of it. FInd something to be depressed about, the world will be depressing. I see that you have expectations, you will be disappointed. When you are disappointed, you remove the blame from yourself and it becomes detached from yourself and you will feel powerless to do anything about. If that is the way for you, I don't see it ever getting better for you.
Tell me if all the prophets that was sent to the people had a fantastic time? After all, they were chosen by Allah and had His protection. Did they enjoy their lives? Did they beseeched Allah to give them a better time? Or did they suffer? Did they have it easy? Did they love it when they were persecuted by their own people? Did they give up on their tasks?
So tell me is your life really that bad? Or are you just not dealing with it? Feeling sorry for yourself is going to get you nowhere. You just have to deal with it.
Everyone goes through ups and downs in life. You're at a point where you're struggling with making decisions about what to pursue in life. Its just a small bump on the road, trust me. You stated your father is very supportive, or at least in support of an idea you have/had at the time. Sit with him to work out plans and possibilities. See past the negativity that other family members throw your way. Just have a 5 minute self-talk every morning to remind yourself that you are a living miracle and with Allah's help you can achieve your goals and dreams.
And don't forget this is the holy month. Immerse yourself in worship and dua! If its overwhelming, just start small and add mini goals as the days come along. You're so young and you feel the world's weight on your shoulders...trust me, it gets better!
May Allah give you ease through this difficult time and enable you to see past this hurdle. May Allah make you successful in your education and career path and allow you to be more positive, Ameen.
It's reported in our books, that there will be more poor people in heaven than rich.
Why?
Because, generally speaking, people who are rich, can grow their ego, can grow their pride, waste wealth and so on. So the test of money is a great one and the fall from being rich is far greater than, the fall from poverty.
Say Alhamdulilah, whatever you have this is sufficient for me.
Your family unit does greatly influence who you are as an individual. If you find yourself depressed, ask yourself why?
What is making you unhappy and create an action plan to move your mindset to a happy one.
Don't allow your sibling's opinion of you, to be a reason for your failure in not achieving your goals.
You can achieve loads, if you allow your mind to think positively and accept the real you.
Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.
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