Since my poor gcses of not getting an A 😂😅😣 my parents have been upset with me. When other reletives or family friends child get good grades or pass a test. They always compare them to me. Sometimes I get an itch to lash out and say that will those same kids look after you when you are old? But subhanallah I don't. I love my parents but I feel sometimes that I will be a failure in the future thus be a burden to them. I pray to Allah swt that one day it'll change and I'll make make my parents proud in a financial way. As these days the one thing on asian parents mind is money not dunya Astagfirullah. I sometimes get called lazy and useless which makes me angry and forces me to try and supress the devils intention. What should I do to try and ensure I won't fail my parents in the dunya and the Lord for my akhirah
Work Hard at whatever you do and ask Allah to guide you in all matters pertaining to dunya, deen and akhirah... keep your salaat.
You're stil, young, go to college and re-do your GCSE's and ACE them. This time round (in college) you won't be molly coddled by teachers telling you to study - this time you're on your own.. so you better be serious about them GCSES's.
Nothing wrong with re-doing them... you may feel like it's another year and you're falling behind - but that's a negative way to look at it - the right way to see it is that you are attempting to perfect your grades and move on from there. GCSE's are important.
I've done my gcse I got bs and cs and only failed french. I am currently doing my a levels. It's my parent who make me angry when comparing me to others in a negative way. Because in asian culture only A matters. However I am respectful enough not to fight back. Sometimes I get the urge to say will those who you compare me to look after you when you are old and weak? But alhamdulilah I can contain it. May Allah guide us and our parents. Ameen
Don't pay them any attention if they are telling you that you didn't do well enough, in my opinion, you did great... B's and C's are good grades - AND - you're doing A-Levels... so it's all good.
You need to work hard in order to ACE these though, ok? NO slacking and time wasting. Soon as you get the work, make the time to do it - it is a priority, only your Islam takes precedence over it.
I'm sorry you feel like a failure. Just keep your chin up and hold your head high. Allah has plans for you! Don't fall into the emotional blackmail. You seem to use logic pretty well, so this is just a bump on the road.
I pray Allah grant you patience, and I pray you pass your exams and are able to have a successful career, financial security for both you and your family, and good in this life and the hereafter,
Aselam aleykum,
The difficulty in all aspects of life, is always finding the right balance. Getting good grades is important, but getting bad ones isn't the end of the world. Either way, I think it would be a better motivation if you'd want to get good grades for your own sake, and for your future, rather then getting it for your parents sake.
About the grades from the past, what is done is done, and there's no undoing. No point in fretting on. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
As for whether or not your parents are disappointed in you...
You know, for parents finding the right balance is difficult as well. I think ultimately, most parents just want their kids to be happy. There's a few exceptions, of course, like those who care more about how their kids reflect on them and their honour, rather then caring about their kids. But like I said, those are an exception, and most just want their kids to be happy. But what is happiness, some parents think you'll only be happy if you get a good job, or a happy marriage, or this and that. So obviously they'll try to push you in that direction, right? So when your parents seem disappointed with you, don't automatically assume they think you're a failure, and consider that perhaps they are (awkwardly) trying to motivate you because they believe it will eventually lead you onto a path where you'll find happiness. Being a parent doesn't come with a how-to guide after all...
Don't worry about the grades. I was forced to go to a Grammar School by my Dad. I got 13 killer GCSE's, 3 A Levels and a degree (which I was forced to do by my Dad) and trust me my job is not anything great. Qualifications have very little merit these days. There were kids in my high school who failed almost all their GCSE's and didn't do any further education but are now high up managers in firms all over the world. I have a friend who has 2 degrees and a masters and he is stocking shelves at SportsDirect. How crazy is that?
Parents tend to do the whole "look at their kid" pallarva and it really does get to you when you are young and the pressure gets too much.
Like others have said, be patient and I am sure it will work out in the end.
Don't worry about the grades. I was forced to go to a Grammar School by my Dad. I got 13 killer GCSE's, 3 A Levels and a degree (which I was forced to do by my Dad) and trust me my job is not anything great. Qualifications have very little merit these days. There were kids in my high school who failed almost all their GCSE's and didn't do any further education but are now high up managers in firms all over the world. I have a friend who has 2 degrees and a masters and he is stocking shelves at SportsDirect. How crazy is that?
Parents tend to do the whole "look at their kid" pallarva and it really does get to you when you are young and the pressure gets too much.
Like others have said, be patient and I am sure it will work out in the end.
Thank you for the advice Akh. Insha'allah what ever happens, Allah wants it to.
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