Wa'alaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, sister Hajar81.
I start with a question, what is love?. ...... Love is a feeling which you want to make someone happy, and you will be happy too when you see the someone who you love happy and appreciate you. But do you feel like it toward your ex?. I am sure you don't. So, what you feel on your ex actually is not love, but a feeling that you have been surrender to him, and you are under his possession. That's why you feel you should back to him.
True I dont feel these feelings towards my ex husband, i only feel like a kind of "possession"...
A man with character like your ex indeed, always make his partner feel unworthy and low through tell her that no other men will appreciate her because she is like this, she is like that, everything that bad about her. The method that he use to make his partner surrender is combination between tenderness and rudeness. In one time he tell his partner "I love you, I love you" and treat her well that make her feel like 'fly to the moon'. In another time he treat his partner rudely and tell her the words that will make her feel low. But then he continue with "I love you" again. It makes her partner feel that actually he loves her, then she will try to tolerate his rudeness on her.
Do you know sister?, the man with character like this actually common enough found among the men. Now ask yourself, are you sure you will be happy to live with a man who rude to you, who always make you feel low, who actually doesn't love you?.
The problem is that, I know I wouldn be happy
Now look at your husband. You say he is a very nice guy, faithful, religious commited, kind. I am sure he treat you well. And do you know?. The man like this actually is not so much. So why don't you be grateful because now you have a man like this?.
Allah has helped you to be free from a man who treated you badly, and gives you a man who treat you well, who love you. Give a chance to yourself to feel your husband kindness, give a chance to your heart to feel your husband love. In Shaa Allah, then love will be arise in your heart.
Now what you should do is back to your husband and give him your sweetest smile. I am sure he will give you his sweetest smile too, and you will be happy.
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