Troubled Muslim - need your advice and guidence [woman related]

[lostsoul2016]

Salam brothers and sisters.
First of all, Allah is the greatest and may Allah bless you all and forgive us for any sins we have committed.

I live in the western society and unfortunately as we know, the west is not the best place especially in this day and age.
I am ever so grateful for a great strict upbringing.

I want to keep this short as I am embarrassed, ashamed but also stressed and seeking guidance from Allah.

I met someone very nice. Really, one of the much better people in today's society. I am not going to explain the whole "love story" but we worked very well together.
Unfortunately we have very recently parted ways and it breaks my heart. I cannot eat or sleep or drink. Nothing is the same without her.

I want to state clearly that we have had a solid understanding or many things on moral and ethics and beliefs. We definitely want(ed) to head for marriage and I know that by Islam I can marry her (she is not a Muslim) and would have been able to convert her, without force, to Islam.

She really means a lot to me and I know (at least I still hope so but cannot describe as I am very numb from the pain) that I mean something to her.

Our commitment has been great and I told her that this is the only way - commitment. I do not tolerate or respect the way the west act and she is also a firm believer in that.
Anyway, something happened and now we are not talking/seeing each other etc...

I do ask Allah to forgive my wrongdoings.
However I also know (as she does) that we are meant to be and this is not a "hold on to the last essence" statement either. For whatever reason something is clouding her and her judgment is not right causing us to part ways after a period of time of knowing one another very well with all respect in place.

what am I asking here?

I am asking - is there something, some prayer or dua or something which can make her see the sense/her mistake and to come back to "our love"? Definitely want to marry and we have both been through a lot in life individually and completely understand one another unlike our histories.
I just want to some how have a message or something sent to her to make her see and for her to think of me a lot and ignore any of the bad and petty things that she seems to have over blown out of proportion. I know that if a person is like this then why do you want to be with them? But at the same time - you live once and I do know (as she stated too) that we are a great match and work well together. I am a firm believer and a fighter but I also have faith in Allah.

So please, I would appreciate anything you can give. I am in tears, in a lot of pain and trying to get out of this rut I am in. it has been 1 week today since this has all happened and makes no sense. I wish she would reach out to me but nothing. I have tried to communicate but nothing and I will not continue to communicate and hope she comes back to me in some good manner with hope. But I also want to read some dua to give the best wishes and have her come to me.

Thank you - may Allah bless you.

[EgyptPrincess]

Welcome brother, I was recently in similar circumstances to yourself.

It is incredibly difficult to forget about someone you love and they're on your mind all the time. If she is not wanting to contact you any more this is actually a good thing. She is not Muslim and take this as a sign from Allah to try and move on from her and Inshallah you'll find a Muslim women who is as nice as her or even better. As I was told, when you leave something for the sake of Allah, surely he will replace it with something better.

Love is brutal...

[lostsoul2016]

Thank you sister. yes, you of course make sense and this also has occurred to my mind.
Given how badly i fit into society and how intelligent I am along with morals and ethics unlike most where I live (yes, this is a general and broad statement but is the truth as she also agrees) - its difficult to find someone special.

I can say with all my heart, I just hope she gets in touch with me one way or another. Indeed we had a good plan and felt mutual respect and love too. Nothing was forced or altered or compromised - all pure and natural and wholesome which is VERY rare.

yes, she owes me some money but i don't care for such things because we are the type to not care about possessions or superficiality which made everything so real and wholesome.
For this reason and many others, I feel to do something and want her back. I just don't know how or what.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Heartache is painful, but you really do have to move on, and I don't mean to another woman, but you have to build a relationship with Allah. If you are only now turning to Him after your heartache and don't know what to do then that is a clear reflection on the lost state you're in. Instead of asking Allah to bring this woman back to you and continue a haram relationship, you should be asking for forgiveness and for Allah to rectify your affairs and replace your loss with something that will benefit your deen. When your iman is in a good place, you will find someone much better under better circumstances Inshallah. May Allah guide you.

[lostsoul2016]

Thank you.
I just want to clarify - I have never lost my faith in Allah but always have had mutual respect and love for one another in this. I really would like some wish/dua/something for her to just realize or some thought.

[muslimah_B]

Thank you.
I just want to clarify - I have never lost my faith in Allah but always have had mutual respect and love for one another in this. I really would like some wish/dua/something for her to just realize or some thought.

Walaykum asalam

First of all i dont condone "relationships where one party is not a muslim" as these end in heartbreak or something always happens. We all need to fear Allah with our sins and in sha Allah strive to do better. I would advice you to leave the relationship behind as Allah has made a way out for you, to focus on Him rather than the girl who is in actual fact taking you away from Allah and causing you to sin (who is not muslim and does not have the same belief, morals, or fear of Allah, which nobody should want that...for someone to love you properly they must love and fear Allah 1st or this will always always always end in disaster as you will clash on many things especially the day you want to further your deen and in sha Allah get closer to Allah and leave behind things your finally able to.
You cant make dua for haram things Allah will never grant those duas that involve haram...if you want to make dua, make dua that Allah guides her heart to Islam so that you may marry and be halal for eachother.
If she was muslim then we ALL would just say to marry her and all problems would be done with

But as i can kinda tell you will do as you please so, if you can explain what exactly the fight was about to determine how angry she is and wether giving her space is what you should do or keep contacting her untill she responds
(But honestly im totally advising against this)