Hi ... i am new to the forum and wasnt sure where to post but hoping this is the right place. Last year one of my firends told me of a marriage proposal which i rejected without considering purely basing it on the fact that i wasnt too attracted to the man... anways a year down the line i realised my mistake so went back to that girl and asked her again only this time she doesnt want to put me forward. I feel really sad by this because everytime i try to get married some issues always come up!!
I am sorry if I must tell the truth about men. If a man rejected by a woman and he doesn't try to propose again immediately, it's means he has decided to go to another woman and not interested to the first woman again. I think your friend know it, so she refuses to forward your message to the man you have ever rejected.
As mentioned by another member, guys do not like being rejected. And going back to the same guy you rejected is a big no no. The guy is insulted by such actions, thinks he is leftover you can come back for since you couldn't find anything "better" for yourself, especially since you are coming back after a whole year. Even if he doesn't, most will take it as an opportunity to reject you in return. Plus it's been a year, more than likely he has been married or moved on.
As for your friend, she may had to hear the beef from the other side after your rejection and the way you did it. She may not want to repeat the same scenario again with you rejecting again nor be put in the same position again. She may also know the other side will turn it down so not worth the effort.
If every time you try get married and some issues come up then you need to find out what is causing this. Going back to the first proposal is not the answer if those issue persist. The first proposal guy could very well be behind it, anything is possible in this age and day. So try to find out the root cause of these issues first.
Just a reminder for sisters, regarding marriage proposal. The man who come later is not always better than the man who came earlier. So do not too fast to decide to reject proposal from a man who actually good enough just because you expect a better suitor. Probably you will never get proposal from man like this again.
And to to sister huma89. I am really not sure that he will propose marriage to you again. But I hope you can take a lesson from this. Next time, do not too fast to reject when you get marriage proposal again. Try to thinking longer, try to know about the suitor further. In Shaa Allah, you will see something good on him.
Hi ... i am new to the forum and wasnt sure where to post but hoping this is the right place. Last year one of my firends told me of a marriage proposal which i rejected without considering purely basing it on the fact that i wasnt too attracted to the man... anways a year down the line i realised my mistake so went back to that girl and asked her again only this time she doesnt want to put me forward. I feel really sad by this because everytime i try to get married some issues always come up!!
Sister
Its nothing wrong to PROPOSE again
1)If you are SURE he is still Alone
2) He knows Deen and a Pious Guy
Many men have hearts of forgiving So Nothing Wrong to take a chance after praying 2 rakat hajat to Allah . If he rejects Leave to Decree al Qadr
So Never Reject anyone immediately in haste . These matters are sensitive so we have to THINK THRICE before answering anything .
Yes i am sure he is alone and interested but the girl just wont put me forward not sure why? But i guess if its meant to be it will ... feeling really down about it
Yes i am sure he is alone and interested but the girl just wont put me forward not sure why? But i guess if its meant to be it will ... feeling really down about it
If you are sure then ask your friend the reason for not putting you forward. If she is your friend then as a friend should be candid with you about it. Also, you could ask for his contact information if she does not want to do it and have someone else put you forward or talk on your behalf to him.
... which i rejected without considering purely basing it on the fact that i wasnt too attracted to the man ...
Welcome to the real world, where the real people live, and not the ones that only exist in people's fantasy.
In the country where I live, the girls do not realize that these guys making just $200 are a real catch, because most men do not even have a real job or an income so to speak of here. Still, these girls confide with me that they think that they will find better. Of course, they will also never read up on the pigeonhole principle, which clarifies that there will never be enough pigeonholes for all the pigeons out there. Furthermore, the statistics for the millenials are truly horrible out here. The guys just can't make enough money, and the girls just keep waiting for the one elusive man who will show up in a luxury car. It wasn't that bad when I got married a decade ago!
Yes i am sure he is alone and interested but the girl just wont put me forward not sure why? But i guess if its meant to be it will ... feeling really down about it
Your story remind me to my story, although not really same. When I was young my female friend introduced me to a girl. That girl immediately liked me when we met, although I heard from my friend, that girl was ever expect another guy. However, not so long that girl told my friend honestly that she was still expecting the another guy, but ....."If I cannot get that guy, then get Ardianto is okay". Of course I didn't want to be treated as the spare guy. So I decided to seek another girl.
Back to your story. A year ago your friend conveyed marriage proposal from a guy. You rejected this proposal because you were expecting the better guy. But after a year you change your mind. I guess, it's because you think, rather than never get married, marry that guy is okay. Your friend knows what's in your mind, and she feel uncomfortable if she must convey your invitation because it can offend that guy.
My advice, do not urge your friend again, and do not expect that guy again. It's better if you take a lesson from what has been happened. What you should do now is make du'a, wish Allah send the next suitor. And when the next suitor has come, read again what I have written in post #4.
Yes i am sure he is alone and interested but the girl just wont put me forward not sure why? But i guess if its meant to be it will ... feeling really down about it
A'salamu alaykum. If possible, you can have someone else contact him, in sha Allah. It doesn't have to be your friend.
everytime i try to get married some issues always come up!!
Assalaamu alaikum Huma,
Mmm... you have had many possibilities of marriage... but "some issues always come up"? What does this mean? You had problems with the suitor.. or he had them with you... or you both had problems with family members...? There seem to be so many possibilities.
It seems to me that perhaps it might be fruitful to have a good look at what the "issues" you have had are, and whether there are any patterns that you can see. And then that you look at yourself, and see how you might change something within yourself in order to avoid any possible problematic patterns. (smile) As I know so little, it's hard to comment clearly I'm afraid.
May Allah, the Wise, Guide you to beneficial knowledge.
If you are sure then ask your friend the reason for not putting you forward. If she is your friend then as a friend should be candid with you about it. Also, you could ask for his contact information if she does not want to do it and have someone else put you forward or talk on your behalf to him.
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