Firstly let me start by poining out i know i cant spell!
Im a 33yo white british revert of circa 5 yrs. How ever on paper i only did Shahada arround a year ago. I wanted to discuss a few things that really are dragying me down. I also want to point out that i am not accusing anyone or everyone, but if i can just change the way of thinking for just one person id be so happy.
Ok so, i started reading about Islam purly for my own educationl needs arround the time of 9-11 when mulims were getting a bad name over tv and the press. Having worked in muslim houses what was being said didnt add up to what i had seen so i wanted purly to find out for my self. One day i started reading with a compleatly different head on, i was starting to think this makes seance. But now what? Im a 6ft2 22st white guy with a balled head, where do i go and who do i speak too? Can i just walk into a mosque? At the time i didnt know what to do so i turned to the internet. The internet is so dangerious.
Anyway having found very little quality info on the net directed towards reverts, and still not knowing about mosque etticate, i got more books and started trying to pray and live accordingly. At this point i must add i had emailed about 5 mosques with no responce. I did this for 4 years.
It got to the point where every prayer i was worrying about this or that and i wasnt enjoying the religion i had fell in love with, so i finall plucked up the courage to visit a mosque. I walked in the door, i didnt have a clue what to do so i stood about a while and pretty much every person just walked past me, i tryed to speak to people but got a real cold shoulder, so i left. This happend in 5 different mosques. Id like to axk if this was a relidgion you were seeking more info or guidence would you of keped going back?
Anyway having finally found a mosque and an iman that took time to talk to me i said my shahada. Still at this point none of my friends and family new so i had to tell them. I now have ZERO friends and only my mum talks to me.
I go to mosque 5 times a day, only a handfull of people actuall talk to me and that i feel is only out of politeness. Out of the mosque gates and im a normal guy with no friends and no sence of belonging.
Marrage is something i want to do, so what do i do? I have no involvement with the muslim community, i dont know someone that knows someone etc, so you go online. Ihave to say that 95% of people ive spoken to online are living a haram life, and are not for me, so what option have i got? Nip over to another country and grab a passpoet wife?
Islamic education. What i had learned didnt even cover what 8yo children at mosque were being taught and it was clear i nedded to strip back all id learned and start again. Children are getting w hours a day 5 days a week, reverts are lucky to get an hour a week! So again they can turn to the internet, dangerious.
This is a similar story to many reverts ive spoken too.
So whats my point? Well its 2 fold.
Firstly id like people to remember many reverts sacrifice so much to pursue islam, friends family etc and become isolated. Soif you see one why not talke time to get to know them, make them feel involved, loved, and welcome within islam and the community.
Secondally.
If we end up with reverts feeling lost and isolated turning to the internet for support and learning then many will go down the wrong path. The net is dangerious, ive experienced it, all of asudden you get the WRONG people offering you lessons and a feeling of a brotherhood,next thing you know they will be in there way to syria.
Inshallah yiu can make sence of what im trying to say.
Brother, you have raised a very important concern. We born and raised Muslims have a responsibility to reach out to everyone else, invite them to Islam, and then help and support the reverts as much as possible, make them feel at home and include them in our community.
When the Sahabah migrated from Makkah, the resident Muslims of Madinah were ready to share everything they had in half with their new brothers, even though they themselves were new to Islam. Today the world has become selfish and we engage ourselves so much in worldly pursuits that we tend to forget our own relatives, let alone new reverts. It is a very sad state of affairs.
I urge everyone to raise these concerns in their local Masjid and with their community leaders. We need to raise awareness as much as possible and involve our new brothers with us.
Alhamdulillah for the positive responces so far! Honestly if i wasnt looking to get married, and every sister i speak too seamingly wants a huge house, new cars, designer clothibg, therefore pushing me into a job i hate, id happily ditch my job and really try and hammer this home.
For the record, whats a community leader and where do i find one? Lol
I would just like to add before i get criticism on it that i know my approch to marrage is not really very islamic, i mean im resorted to muslim dating sites, the offer free membership to woman to use as bait to get men to hand over their money and basically shop for a potential wife, its got to be as haram as it gets, i would much prefer this part of my deen to be well and truly down to my parents or other family member, however i dont have that luxury! I think to be honest it is the lack of community acceptance that has sparked all this off in my head
Brother i had one sister that i spoke to that i thought was great, she wanted her family involvement straght away, then she braught up mahr, its ok though, she only wanted 100k!
Brother i had one sister that i spoke to that i thought was great, she wanted her family involvement straght away, then she braught up mahr, its ok though, she only wanted 100k!
Brother, if you lived in Indonesia and you had 100,000 pounds, you could buy a house, a car, build a business, and got a wife who was willing to receive mahr less than 50 pounds.
I wonder why Muslims in some other places seem like make marriage as business.
May I suggest that you look into attending an organizational/outreach driven conference rather than starting at a mosque, and then find your way to the right sort of mosque from there.
There are some Islamic organizations that....well, depending which ones, they do a lot of things. Some oppose secularism, some embrace secularism, some of them have partnerships with NGOs that allow them to do charitable work abroad, some have a range of other social activities. Some are politically motivated and that's all they do, others make a point of being entirely apolitical. And some of them really make a point of reaching out to a wide range of Muslims in order to help them take their faith very seriously, put it into practice, establish strategies and practices for outreach, and make a point of supporting new members of their communities in an ongoing sort of fashion.
If you can find an organization that emphasizes those sorts of things, and then find out when and where they're doing a conference in your area, you could very possibly link up with a whole assembly of Muslims who are choosing to specifically emphasize these particular things and are gathering together for that reason, you could meet some people get information and find out about ongoing strategies and upcoming events, and from there you could follow some of those people to whatever mosque they come from.
My reasoning is as follows. When you go to a mosque- at least the mosques you've been to- there does not seem to be a reliably specific emphasis on certain things that very much concern you. So I ask, where could you go besides a mosque where you're sure to find a lot of Muslims gathered in one place with the purpose, at least in part, of placing some emphasis on these things that you're looking for? I do believe such a thing exists, if you can narrow it down to the right sort of organization and pinpoint a conference of some sort that is going to specifically handle this. Ideally, you'll be able to find a conference that's attended by all sorts of people in a variety of different roles, and one of the things they're being walked through is the development of strategies for local outreach in the community and for coming alongside the new people. If you can find the right sort of thing, you should at least be able to make contact with some people who want to put a plan in place and get started.
For the record, whats a community leader and where do i find one? Lol
Sorry, I used the wrong words. I mean to say, elders and influential people in the community. People whose advice is sought, those who have a say in the community.
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