Devorce

[ebrahimH]

I'd my wife and I have argument and everytime we argue I ask her does she want her talaq out of anger but she does not answer , are we now devorced by me just uttering the word talaq to her or we still married why I ask I have been separated from my wife for 2 years plus first 6 month to a year we spoke offen mostly me begging her to take me back after a while I stopped begging and we hardly speak unless she needs to know something about example the medical aid if there is funds , I dnt give her money as I can't afford to thou if I could I would with the hope of her seeing I still want to be there for her so back to my questions before we separated during very heated arguments I use to ask her is she tired of me and wants her talaq mostly just to scare her but she would never reply to that questions but after I moved out our home during calls and text begging her to take me back she says we are already divorced as just mentioning the word talaq is considered as one even if I I just asked a questions not actually giving her talaq so because of number of fights we have had and everytime we had those fights I asked her if she wants her talaq so she claims I devorced her already would anybody help with the correct answer please

[azc]

I'd my wife and I have argument and everytime we argue I ask her does she want her talaq out of anger but she does not answer , are we now devorced by me just uttering the word talaq to her or we still married why I ask I have been separated from my wife for 2 years plus first 6 month to a year we spoke offen mostly me begging her to take me back after a while I stopped begging and we hardly speak unless she needs to know something about example the medical aid if there is funds , I dnt give her money as I can't afford to thou if I could I would with the hope of her seeing I still want to be there for her so back to my questions before we separated during very heated arguments I use to ask her is she tired of me and wants her talaq mostly just to scare her but she would never reply to that questions but after I moved out our home during calls and text begging her to take me back she says we are already divorced as just mentioning the word talaq is considered as one even if I I just asked a questions not actually giving her talaq so because of number of fights we have had and everytime we had those fights I asked her if she wants her talaq so she claims I devorced her already would anybody help with the correct answer please

you should talk to the knowledgeable muftis for your issues

[aminah996]

^ yeah I second that.

[aaj]

Divorce counts so long as the intention to divorce is present or it is accompanied by signs that point to intention to divorce.

If the anger reached a level where the individual did not know what he was saying, or it was extreme anger that made him issue the divorce, and were it not for the anger he would not have issued the divorce, then it does not count as a divorce.

https://islamqa.info/en/170606

With that said, you should never use talaq as a weapon against your spouse no matter what. It is oppressive, unfair and cheap.

As others said, you should talk to a knowledgeable mufti.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

I'd my wife and I have argument and everytime we argue I ask her does she want her talaq out of anger but she does not answer , are we now devorced by me just uttering the word talaq to her or we still married why I ask I have been separated from my wife for 2 years plus first 6 month to a year we spoke offen mostly me begging her to take me back after a while I stopped begging and we hardly speak unless she needs to know something about example the medical aid if there is funds , I dnt give her money as I can't afford to thou if I could I would with the hope of her seeing I still want to be there for her so back to my questions before we separated during very heated arguments I use to ask her is she tired of me and wants her talaq mostly just to scare her but she would never reply to that questions but after I moved out our home during calls and text begging her to take me back she says we are already divorced as just mentioning the word talaq is considered as one even if I I just asked a questions not actually giving her talaq so because of number of fights we have had and everytime we had those fights I asked her if she wants her talaq so she claims I devorced her already would anybody help with the correct answer please

Asking a question does not cause Talaaq to fall. However, let me explain something:

There are two primary ways of giving Talaaq:

1) Sareeh (Explicit).
2) Kinaayah (Implied).

Sareeh Talaaq is when you say, for example, "I Talaaq you three times." Or, "I have given you three Talaaqs." This is clear-cut, Talaaq Mughallazhah, and the Nikaah is over.

On the other hand, you get Talaaq Kinaayah (implied divorce), and that is when the person says to his wife, for example, "Go, you are free!" Now, what happens in this case is that, when it comes to deciding whether the Nikaah has been severed or not, we have to ascertain what the intention of this man was at the time of uttering those words. Now, no person will know this except him, and he will have to be honest to himself, because if he lies, that won't save his Nikaah and in the end he'll just be living in Zinaa. IF he implied Talaaq by that statement, then she is divorced. If he did NOT imply Talaaq, then Talaaq has not fallen. Some time back, I gave the following Fatwaa which I will reproduce below:

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Question: “A husband and wife were having a bad fight, she was packing her bags to leave him, he was happy to let her go and he said to her "go, you are free till qiyamah". Does this mean she is divorced from him?”

:الجواب ومن الله الصدق والصواب

Answer: “If he intended Talaaq by that statement, then Talaaq has fallen. If he did not intend Talaaq, then it has not fallen.”

وبقية الكنايات إذا نوى بها الطلاق: كانت واحدة بائنة, وإن نوى بها ثلاثاً كانت ثلاثاً, وإن نوى اثنتين: كانت واحدة
وهذا مثل قوله: أنت بائن, و: بائنة, و: بتّة, و: بتلة, و: رحام, و: حبلك على غاربك, و: إلحقي بأهلك, و: خليّة, و: بريّة, و: وهبتك لأهلك, و: سرّحتك, و: فارقتك, و: أنت حرّة, و: تقنّعي, و: تخمّري, و: استتري: و: اغربي, و: اعزبي, و: إبتغي الأزواج
فإن لم تكن له نية الطلاق, لم يقع بهذه الألفاظ طلاق, إلا أن يكونا في مذاكرة الطلاق, فيقع الطلاق في القضاء, ولا يقع فيما بينه وبين الله تعالى, إلا أن ينوي الطلاق
وإن لم يكونا في مذاكرة الطلاق, وكانا في غضب أو خصومة: وقع الطلاق بكل لفظ لا يقصد به السب والشتيمة, ولم يقع بما يقصد به السب والشتيمة, إلا أن ينويه
(مختصر القدوري في الفقه الحنفي, كتاب الطلاق)

والله تعالى أعلم وعلمه أتم وأحكم

- Muhammad Huzaifah ibn Adam aal-Ebrahim

[5th of Rabee`-ul-Awwal, 1438 - 5th of December, 2016.]

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In your case, though, even Kinaayah (implied) Talaaq has not occurred, because rather than make a statement, you asked a question, and a question in Arabic falls under "Istifhaam", and Istifhaam does not cause Talaaq to fall.

Also, the issue of not living together does not affect the validity of Nikaah. The Nikaah remains intact even if years go by without the couple living together.

So, in conclusion, you and your wife are still married.

والله تعالى أعلم

[azc]

thanks for sharing......

[ebrahimH]

Thank for your replies brothers it surely helped now all I need do is pray Allah opens my way on what to do about my marrage because my heart tell me to wait for her to come to her senses but it's going to be 3 years we apart in November 2017 and it's really bring me down am also scared if I wait and wait and my life will just be a misrable lonely life I know I messed up and I take full responsibility for my actions the way I treated her not physical abuse but mental abuse like when I didn't was unhappy about something that went wrong like in my job I would with drew and not talk when it came to money matters and I was struggling to provide I would just be very quite and not talk to her and all she wanted was a friend a husband and someone to be strong for her to support her when she going through her own drama I failed her and when things got really bad I walked out not cause I wanted to but I was been stupid and didn't think when I should have stayed and let thinks calm and talk to her I've learnt a lot on how to treat a woman a wife and am ready mentally to be the man she needs and wants but it's just not working everything I try