My wife didnt see her family for over 2 years. Now she want to meet her family, they live in a another continent (14 hours by airplane). Unfortunately i cant go with her due financial problems and work. She refuse to wait anymore and want to go alone without me. At this stage she is really stubborn. In the past she also went to her family without me.
She know that Islam forbid that a women travel alone. She dont agree with this, her family is really important, which i can understand.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by Calmate
Salaam,
I have a question:
My wife didnt see her family for over 2 years. Now she want to meet her family, they live in a another continent (14 hours by airplane). Unfortunately i cant go with her due financial problems and work. She refuse to wait anymore and want to go alone without me. At this stage she is really stubborn. In the past she also went to her family without me.
She know that Islam forbid that a women travel alone. She dont agree with this, her family is really important, which i can understand.
What can i do as a husband?
I dont want to get punished by GOD.
why are you so weak...?
If you are not weak, then don't talk to her for 6 months because she is violating the shariah.
If you can't, then let her live as she wants and forget what the shariah says.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
Walaikum Asalaam
format_quote Originally Posted by Calmate
Salaam,
I have a question:
My wife didnt see her family for over 2 years. Now she want to meet her family, they live in a another continent (14 hours by airplane). Unfortunately i cant go with her due financial problems and work. She refuse to wait anymore and want to go alone without me. At this stage she is really stubborn. In the past she also went to her family without me.
She know that Islam forbid that a women travel alone. She dont agree with this, her family is really important, which i can understand.
What can i do as a husband?
I dont want to get punished by GOD.
Is there any scenario where you'd be able to accompany your wife? Does she have any mahrems who'd be willing to go with her? Can you take any days off from work? Would her family be able to visit your wife instead?
It seems that you'd have no problem with her visiting her family and would wish to accompany her if an opportunity arose, so I think you should try to find a way to accompany her and allow her to visit her family. It would make both of you happy if you arrived at some solution. I think if she saw that you found a good solution she wouldn't have a problem waiting/being patient until you were able to go with her. It's difficult for women to stay away from their families so I can understand the emotional aspect of it, but at the same time, she should obey and respect you as her husband if your wish was for her to stay. I also think in the future you should take into consideration the close relationship your wife has with her family and try to make this more easy on her and yourself. For example, if finances are an issue then cut back on spending for the travel tickets and accommodations. She can also try to help financially if this is very important to her such as saving money from work. Just some ideas.
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
why are you so weak...?
Well that's sort of a rude accusation, don't you think? How is that supposed to help him?
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format_quote Originally Posted by anatolian
What I dont understand whether you permit her not not to go. If you dont, why dont you permit her to go? She has right to see her family. Wrong?
I don't think he has an issue with her seeing her family. He just doesn't want to commit any sins allowing her to go alone which is understandable. When a woman gets married, her husband has more rights to her than her parents do. He's not severing any ties between them or preventing her from having a relationship together. Maybe life's hardships don't allow him to give his wife everything she wants right now, and that's something they both have to work out together. She needs to be more patient.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
Walaikum Asalaam
Is there any scenario where you'd be able to accompany your wife? Does she have any mahrems who'd be willing to go with her? Can you take any days off from work? Would her family be able to visit your wife instead?
It seems that you'd have no problem with her visiting her family and would wish to accompany her if an opportunity arose, so I think you should try to find a way to accompany her and allow her to visit her family. It would make both of you happy if you arrived at some solution. I think if she saw that you found a good solution she wouldn't have a problem waiting/being patient until you were able to go with her. It's difficult for women to stay away from their families so I can understand the emotional aspect of it, but at the same time, she should obey and respect you as her husband if your wish was for her to stay. I also think in the future you should take into consideration the close relationship your wife has with her family and try to make this more easy on her and yourself. For example, if finances are an issue then cut back on spending for the travel tickets and accommodations. She can also try to help financially if this is very important to her such as saving money from work. Just some ideas.
Well that's sort of a rude accusation, don't you think? How is that supposed to help him?
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I don't think he has an issue with her seeing her family. He just doesn't want to commit any sins allowing her to go alone which is understandable. When a woman gets married, her husband has more rights to her than her parents do. He's not severing any ties between them or preventing her from having a relationship together. Maybe life's hardships don't allow him to give his wife everything she wants right now, and that's something they both have to work out together. She needs to be more patient.
Thank you for your answer.
The problem is that maby her family cannot come to visit us. I dont want to lend money. I asked her to be more patient.
But what if she go again to visit her family without my permission. How Islam deal with this situation?
I dont feel good about this and dont want later to get punished by God.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
I don't think he has an issue with her seeing her family. He just doesn't want to commit any sins allowing her to go alone which is understandable. When a woman gets married, her husband has more rights to her than her parents do. He's not severing any ties between them or preventing her from having a relationship together. Maybe life's hardships don't allow him to give his wife everything she wants right now, and that's something they both have to work out together. She needs to be more patient.
Can a woman travel where ever she wants if her wali/ husband permits?
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format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
I don't think he has an issue with her seeing her family. He just doesn't want to commit any sins allowing her to go alone which is understandable. When a woman gets married, her husband has more rights to her than her parents do. He's not severing any ties between them or preventing her from having a relationship together. Maybe life's hardships don't allow him to give his wife everything she wants right now, and that's something they both have to work out together. She needs to be more patient.
Can a woman travel where ever she wants if her wali/ husband permits?
I agree thats their internal buiseness but he is asking us
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by anatolian
Can a woman travel where ever she wants if her wali/ husband permits?
If we're going to talk about what a woman can and can't do, the reality of it is that a woman can do whatever she wants but whether it is permitted in Islam or not is another question.
From my understanding, even with her husband's permission, a woman is not allowed to travel without her husband or mahrem. Islamic rulings aside and assessing the situation further, I personally don't believe that there is an absolute necessity to travel to see her parents at this time if it is against her husband's wishes; it's just something she wants to do. Even hajj is excused for women if there is no mahrem available to travel with them. So considering the importance of this travel in the general scheme of things, it's not worth causing the husband any hardship if there is no alternative at the moment. I honestly believe when it comes to these situations where immediate families are involved, both spouses should always try to make accommodations because we only have one of each parent and they are irreplaceable. This is something which should be taken into consideration when anyone is looking into marriage if family is important to them. I understand that sometimes even then it isn't always perfect and things don't go as planned, so in those times we have to be patient and perhaps Allah opens doors for us that we didn't expect.
format_quote Originally Posted by Calmate
The problem is that maby her family cannot come to visit us. I dont want to lend money. I asked her to be more patient.
If this is important to her ask her to be patient but also give a solution so that she can have something to look forward to. Maybe in her mind she thinks there will not be an opportunity for her. I'm not understanding why you wouldn't be able to have her family come over? You don't have to lend them money, you can make it a gift for your wife to have her parents there with her for a bit.
format_quote Originally Posted by Calmate
But what if she go again to visit her family without my permission. How Islam deal with this situation?
How would she be able to go on her own? Does she support herself? Try to speak to her kindly. Are her parents requesting to see her or is this something she just wants to do on her own? If being patient with her and speaking kindly doesn't work then just don't share a bed with her and see if that has an effect? This is what is prescribed in Quran for disobeying wives. Anyways keep making du'a, and try to discuss it with her but also find a solution. If this is her only flaw then maybe visiting her family is really important to her so do put in the effort to make something happen. I might be incorrect but it doesn't seem that you are very close to her family which probably adds to the situation. May Allah ease your affairs and guide your marriage ameen.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
Thank you all for the answer:
Her family is a good family that believe in christianity. But the fact is that they have dogs in their houses and also drinking alcohol. But when we visit them they prepare like halal food for us.
How Islam deals with this situation.
Like i said before. For her is family really important and she cant refuse to visit them.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
So alhemdulilah you have resolved the issue amd her family will be visiting instead?
If her family has been kind to accommodate you with halal food and is supportive then I think its wonderful. Continue to treat them with kindness and may allah guide them to the truth ameen.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
So alhemdulilah you have resolved the issue amd her family will be visiting instead?
If her family has been kind to accommodate you with halal food and is supportive then I think its wonderful. Continue to treat them with kindness and may allah guide them to the truth ameen.
Re: My wife want to travel to another continent alone
format_quote Originally Posted by Calmate
Thank you all for the answer:
Her family is a good family that believe in christianity. But the fact is that they have dogs in their houses and also drinking alcohol. But when we visit them they prepare like halal food for us.
How Islam deals with this situation.
Like i said before. For her is family really important and she cant refuse to visit them.
Finally her family will visit us. Hamdolilah
It's even better that they come to you rather than your wife going to visit them without you so she can't be influenced by their religion and ways.
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but whether it is permitted in Islam or not is another question.
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