I converted to Islam a couple years ago, then went AWOL 6 months after.
I am looking in to rediscovering Islam. I was inspired by a friend to rediscover my relationship with Allah.
I was hoping my brothers and sisters could address some of the reasons why I fell off.
The first was the way I was treated by people I considered to be my brothers. I was very hurt. I struggle with alcoholism (sober and strong now, alhamdulilah), and I was ridiculed for it and called a drunkard. I know alcohol is haraam and for good reason. I had an addiction I was struggling to break free of. Undoubtedly through the grace of Allah I am sober now. But I was very hurt by the way they talked to me. I was also ridiculed and called evil for expressing sympathy for secular democracy. I am from the west and see tremendous value in free and fair elections. I am not opposed to Sharia, but I wanted to see it operate democratically. Also, I expressed the opinion that non-Muslims should not be subject to Sharia, in the same way Muslims should not be subject to the laws of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, or Atheism. I believe we should be free to live as we wish, and religion is a choice. The same people who said this to me expressed desire to kill non-Muslims. I am a man of peace, and I was taken aback by the violent language. I realize that the bad deeds and words of a select few should not steer me from Allah nor is it representative of Islam. This experience, and being ridiculed and attacked for my views and personal issues caused me to become defiant. If you find any of these views wrong, I am okay with that. Respectfully tell me why I am wrong and I will consider your perspective. I am open minded. But please do not attack me or ridicule me.
I also found the idea of hell, that my non-muslim friends and family would be put there, to be a very unsettling idea. I come from a Jewish/agnostic family (Jewish on my mom's side, agnostic on my father's). and I was told that they would burn. Also, on homosexuality, I recognize that it is haraam, but I do not have desire to hurt of kill gay people.
That is not to say I didn't find truth in Islam, because I did. What I had difficulty with was assimilating Islam into my old ideas. Maybe what I should have done is let go of my old ideas and embrace Islam as a new idea.
I will tell you that the last two years I have lived without embracing Allah, I have felt something is missing.
Let me know what you think of all of this, and offer your perspectives and suggestions, please. And remember, my mind is open. I WANT to come back to Islam. I just need guidance right now. Please do not attack or ridicule me, I beg you.
I am deeply sorry you have been insulted and mocked. You must understand not everyone has an open mind and not everyone is open to a different way of thinking. I would strongly suggest you go back to the basics of Islam and start understanding Islam. Develop a deeper understanding of what Allah swt commands us to do and how HE wants us to live. Leave your discussions for now until you really grasp a deep understanding of Islam. If you really want to dicuss Islam then that is okay but do so with the right people. Find someone who has studied Islam and ask a knowledgeable credible person.
Noone has the right to mock you because you were an alcoholic. Did you know the best of the sahaba's who have shaped Islam had the worst pasts? You should NEVER let people define you especially not ignorant people. Don't give anyone the power over you. Speak to Allah swt and constantly ask for guidance. Allah swt will open HIS doors insha Allah.
When you talk about having a choice well this is exacrly what Islam is about. Even Allah The Most High has stated there is no compulsion in religion so i cannot force you to become a Muslim nor can i force you to live by shariah if you are not a Muslim. Muslims and non muslims have coexisted together in the past and continue to do so.
I would like to start you off and introduce you to this site insha Allah:
Browse freely. I would strongly recommend you to listen to the seerah of the prophet Muhammad s.a.w. Also follow The Merciful Servant on youtube insha Allah.
Don't let the opinions of others define you. Take control of your own education and understanding. May Allah swt protect you from evil and ignorance Ameen.
If you don't know how to pray watch this video:
Welcome to the forum.
Last edited by BeTheChange; 10-28-2018 at 12:39 PM.
Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.
It is the house of Allah swt therefore you are the guest of Allah swt. If you are not welcomed back go to another masjid. The message of islam is perfect the followers is another story. Stay steadfast. Study the lives of the prophets peace and blessings be upon them. It will teach us lots of good ethics and will teach us all what we need to do to have strong mindsets.
Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.
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