Almost three months since I managed to control myself from any contents that related to adult videos, but I now I relapsed again and I at the moment I feel like all those struggles that I went through so far was simply destroyed in just a few minutes of self-destruction. But first I have to tell you guys I'm a male, 21 year old, Po*n has been both my nightmare and my temporary self-pleasure for nearly years ever since the first time my friend introduced me to it when we were in an internet cafe and that's when I was 12. Since I graduated from University, I told myself it is now the time for me to actually make a better life for myself, I wrote a few reminders on my whiteboard all of the things that I should do in 2019, it worked though, well some of it, one of them is maintaining my relationship with Allah by obeying Allah's commands such as establishing prayers, self-restraint etc. Surprisingly, it went just as I expected, Allah directly answered my prayer when I asked for a Job (I'm a teacher now), and more than that Allah SWT showed me the path or more like a vision to success. Of course, Satan wouldn't let those who have gone astray return back to the right path, I felt a lot whispers, bad thoughts often crossed in my mind (I remember I posted my problem with was was here about a week ago)
Nearly three months I felt a lot significant changes within me, and I felt like I've received Allah mercy and blessings because I turned back and repented, however, Satan dislikes this, then one time, one of my friends in a social group unexpectedly chat sent a bunch of "nudes" I didn't expect that because I was curious the group has been unusually very active for the last two hours and it had more than 210 messages, I opened the group chat and then I saw the disgusting pictures that I should not have seen. It was too late and that was out of my expectation, as I saw the erotic pictures, my stomach felt burning and to the point it went up to my chest, I tried very hard to resist it but it was too late when Shaytaan strikes me at the right moment, then I quickly turned on my laptop, downloaded vpn and opened a lot of "websites"
It took me only 10 minutes to screwed up what I've went through so far, because of some stupid unexpected mistakes. And oh it didn't stop there, I repented and then every time I opened my laptop something always told me it's already "too late" why not try to do it again, besides what you do isn't that of a big sin compared to those who murder and do actual Zina and shirk..I relapsed, I repented, I relapsed again then I repented.... I feel like this month is the worse month ever, and I'm now trapped in a web of unavoidable sins...
They say that intentional sins is worse and could invoke God's wrath, I pray to Allah that one day I will escape this problem and start myself from beginning again...
I apologize for the long paragraphs , and I hope those who read this can take a little bit of wisdom from it..
I hope Allah will bestow his mercy to me again and again...
It is hard to give up porn as in a society where sexual innuendos and pictures is likely to grab our attention sometime or another, the irresistible urge comes back again and we can easily fall prey to it
So that's why it is imperative to take some steps towards stopping this very bad sin once and for all
1. Getting married helps a lot for obvious reasons
2. It is good to watch YouTube videos or read up on tortures of hellfire etc, this usually puts fear in us not to sin
3. Try to increase our iman by being even more devoted to worship. It says in Imam Tahawi aqeedah (the Sunni creed) that if we are not 100% fully surrendered to Allah (I. E,, obeying Allah's every fard commands and following the sunnah in our daily lives) then our iman is not safe (I. E, we can go astray at anytime (like you did) and even worse, we can have bad death and end up in hell
So follow those steps brother to the best of your ability
There is another step too but this may be a bit hard and most Muslims find it too difficult to do but do it if you can. That is to fast daily until you get married (as fasting will quell your desires)
Last edited by Abu-Abdullah; 12-23-2019 at 09:48 AM.
They say that intentional sins is worse and could invoke God's wrath, I pray to Allah that one day I will escape this problem and start myself from beginning again...
I apologize for the long paragraphs , and I hope those who read this can take a little bit of wisdom from it..
Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.
Allah is Most Merciful and Most Kind. It is considered pride to think that our sins are greater than His forgivness and mercy.
His mercy is endless. we are human beings. we have free will which Allah has given us.
We cant be angels. we just need to turn to Him in repentance and never stop asking Him for His forgivness.
Try spend your time on reading Quran, do dikhr, read islamic history to get more good knowledges. Ask Him to help you against that terrible sin. In sha Allah He will try help you, you just need to put trust and hope in Him. You will find Him sufficient.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks