is there any way to get rid of guilt and hypotheticals?
I keep getting scared and feeling hopeless for sins that I haven't commited but am scared of what happens if I commit them. For example I get scared that if I commit murder how will I repent? How can Allah or the victim or forgive me? Another one that bothers me is that I avoid women but I eveynow and then I find them attractive. However in class, eventually their personality is revealed that they smoke, drink, and have tattoos and swear which is turn off. I feel guilty that had I not restrained myself and went after them, I would have left them because of their personality. I feel guitly that I would have been just like those guys who use women. Of course I didn't do these sins but im scared of commiting them or that im capable of . Im scared of being a bad lerson or being capable. I would like to belive i am a good person but I feel so scared and guilty. Is there any remedy to this guilt for things that haven't happened but seems like I have,
is there any way to get rid of guilt and hypotheticals?
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu,
Guilt is not for something one has done, where as fear is for something which may happen is future. With that said, you are not held accountable for anything you have not done. You may have thoughts to do it, but if you end up not doing it then it will be written down as one good for you because of your struggle against your nafs for not doing it.
On the authority of son of Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), among the sayings he related from his Lord (glorified and exalted be He) is that He said:
Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones. Then He explained it [by saying that] he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed.
It was related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Negative thoughts result in negative actions & positive thoughts result in positive actions. And believing in negative thoughts is the only thing which stands between you and your success. Hence, it is necessary to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Negative thoughts occupy mind mostly when you have lot of free time in hand and socially isolated. You have to see how you spend your time. If you stay awake at night then you should try to change that habit. Allah made night to sleep and day for work. This will allow you to interact with people and have less time to pay attention to whispers of Satan. If you have lot of free time, see how you can use it positively. May be work out, or work part time, or start reading Quran, read some book or write some articles etc. Schedule your week and may sure you make use of your free time.
I keep getting scared and feeling hopeless for sins that I haven't commited but am scared of what happens if I commit them. For example I get scared that if I commit murder how will I repent? How can Allah or the victim or forgive me? Another one that bothers me is that I avoid women but I eveynow and then I find them attractive. However in class, eventually their personality is revealed that they smoke, drink, and have tattoos and swear which is turn off. I feel guilty that had I not restrained myself and went after them, I would have left them because of their personality. I feel guitly that I would have been just like those guys who use women. Of course I didn't do these sins but im scared of commiting them or that im capable of . Im scared of being a bad lerson or being capable. I would like to belive i am a good person but I feel so scared and guilty. Is there any remedy to this guilt for things that haven't happened but seems like I have,
As I mentioned before, a lot of this has to do with constant pressure and stress you have put on yourself. It appears you focus too much on what has happened in the past or focus too much on what will happen in the future - neither of this is good and results in anxiety and depression. Try to focus on your future, you can't change what has happened in the past & you have no knowledge of what will happen in future. But you can work on your today to determine your future. If you think positively then your future In Sha'a Allah will be bright.
Regarding finding attraction in women sometimes, try to lower your gaze. If you still get these thoughts, ask Allah for forgiveness and keep on fighting against your desires. Allah has created us with a nature which He is well aware off. We will all make mistakes and best of us are those who repent and never loose hope in Allah.
Narrated Ibn Mas`ud:
A man kissed a woman (unlawfully) and then went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and informed him. Allah revealed: And offer prayers perfectly At the two ends of the day And in some hours of the night (i.e. the five compulsory prayers). Verily! good deeds remove (annul) the evil deeds (small sins) (11.114). The man asked Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), "Is it for me?" He said, "It is for all my followers."
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ التَّيْمِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي عُثْمَانَ النَّهْدِيِّ، عَنِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ، أَنَّ رَجُلاً، أَصَابَ مِنَ امْرَأَةٍ قُبْلَةً، فَأَتَى النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَأَخْبَرَهُ، فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ {أَقِمِ الصَّلاَةَ طَرَفَىِ النَّهَارِ وَزُلَفًا مِنَ اللَّيْلِ إِنَّ الْحَسَنَاتِ يُذْهِبْنَ السَّيِّئَاتِ}. فَقَالَ الرَّجُلُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَلِي هَذَا قَالَ " لِجَمِيعِ أُمَّتِي كُلِّهِمْ ". Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 526 In-book reference: Book 9, Hadith 5 USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 1, Book 10, Hadith 504
Abu Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: The five (daily) prayers and one Friday prayer to (the next) Friday prayer are expiations (for the sins committed in the intervals) between them.
حَدَّثَنِي نَصْرُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْجَهْضَمِيُّ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الأَعْلَى، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " الصَّلَوَاتُ الْخَمْسُ وَالْجُمُعَةُ إِلَى الْجُمُعَةِ كَفَّارَاتٌ لِمَا بَيْنَهُنَّ " .
Reference: Sahih Muslim 233b
In-book reference: Book 2, Hadith 18
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 2, Hadith 449 https://sunnah.com/muslim/2/18
I suggest you memorize following Dua and make that part of your daily duas in Sajood -In Sha'a Allah DUA FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَـمِّ وَ الْحُـزْنِ Transliteration:Allaahumma 'innee 'a'oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani Translation: O Allah, I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness
Al-Huzn refers to deppressed state because of something which happens in the past & al-hamm is to be worried and anxious about something that could happen in the future. These are the two things which prevents someone to be happy and lead one to be depressed.
And please don't forget to seek professional help to overcome anxiety & depression. Please make it a priority and don't postpone this because it is slowly and steadily controlling your thoughts and actions. May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen!
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