Do you believe in pure friendship between male and female?

[bsgoohbi]

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad

[Skillganon]

What does Islam say about it? and I don't mean about MSN messenger.

[Maarya]

whether its through msn or sitting in the same room and talking, its still free-mixing of the sexes, so i would say no, its not good.

[Skillganon]

I agree with sis. If you are using it to socialise with the opposite gender than it can lead to lot of fitnah.

[Jayda]

hola bsgoohbi,

i do to a certain extent... i think as long as you are guarded and keep away from certain things then you can avoid temptation... i am not attracted to any of my male friends... but in the past some have told me they are attracted to me, which is very uncomfortable. i have learned how to be friendly but personally distant with my male friends so that this does not happen as much any more.

things are different now because i am married... when my husband was my boyfriend... even though he was my first and only boyfriend... men still did not respect that boundary and would sometimes do things that surprised me... now that i am married and even more now that i have children i think this will make a very big difference...

it is so heartbreaking telling a friend that you do not feel for them in that way... one of the worst moments in my life was when a boy who was like a brother to me told me that he was in love with me and wanted me to reconsider getting married to my husband... i have not seen him since then, he did not come to our wedding or the reception and the only thing i have heard from him since then is when his mother sent my husband and i a Christmas card which contained one brief line about him passing on his congratulations about the birth of our daughters...

i think it is best to have cordial relationships with men who have been a good force in your life... friendly, but not very close... intimacy for men in your family that are not threatening... like sons, fathers, brothers, nephews or cousins, and most especially for husbands.

i do not know about having male friends on AIM... i do not talk to strangers on my instant messenger and i am very guarded even with normal people, i do not think it is possible for me to fall for anyone except for my husband, and certainly not somebody i have never personally met... so i think there is no possibility of an inappropriate relationship with somebody from the internet... i would be very surprised if there were women who would fall for somebody they have never met before... but perhaps it happens...

but the internet is dangerous and i would not try to make friends with people from there to begin with...

Dios te bendiga

[Maarya]

^ ^ ^
i agree - internet is dangerous.

on msn i only talk to the people who i have seen and who i know. i hav my privacy as block all others. if someone i dnt know does add me i block them straight away - especially if they're male

[IbnAbdulHakim]

honestly dont think it matters bro Allahu a'lam mayb a boy who finds a girl ugly and a girl who finds said boy ugly can be friends but either way it aint allowed so lets avoid it inshaAllaah

[Woodrow]

It is a very difficult thing to control. I will not say that genuine pure friendships can not develop, but it is very rare. Chances are it will not remain as a "pure" friendship, the odds are against it.

[Dawud_uk]

assalaamu alaykum,

how do people think affairs and extra maritial relationships start?

do you think two people just bump into each other in the street and decide to go book a hotel room on the spur of the moment? or does shaitan work on them over the period of their friendship, putting desire into their hearts and working on them making them feel good about being with their friends.

now me personally i have never heard of an affair or extra maritial relationship starting in any way other than through friendship or friendly behaviour between men and women, counting out the freaks who go to weird clubs for that sort of thing but dont think that is what is being discussed here.

so islam sets guidelines, Allah says in the Quran that we should not come near zina. think about it? Allah isnt just saying dont do zina, he is saying dont come near it. so the scholars from the earliest times until very recently were agreed it was haram to mix unless for specified islamic purposes and even then said it was better not to to avoid fitnah.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

[sevgi]

It is a very difficult thing to control. I will not say that genuine pure friendships can not develop, but it is very rare. Chances are it will not remain as a "pure" friendship, the odds are against it.

i agree...even if they are pure friends(which is very rare) it usually ends when it starts to fall out of purity. well, what i mean is, as time goes by, purity withers and either
a)the friendship withers with it.
b)they fall into impurity together.

one must understand the purpose for Allah creatin opposite sexes. it is impossible to stay pure friends forever. but im not saying it cant be true very rarely for a short while.

peace.

[lolwatever]

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad

v unlikely. dere's like a billion n one threads abt that here

tc

[Snowflake]

It's not impossible. But it's very rare. If both people are very self-deciplined then it can work. If one out of the two is weak then hmm.. you know the rest.

[Dawud_uk]

It's not impossible. But it's very rare. If both people are very self-deciplined then it can work. If one out of the two is weak then hmm.. you know the rest.

except they would be disobeying Allah swt so why do it even if you do believe it possible?

Abu Abdullah

[Snowflake]

except they would be disobeying Allah swt so why do it even if you do believe it possible?

Abu Abdullah

of course it's disobeying Allah.. I meant that if it does happen it can be purely platonic - as in without leading to zina. But like I said that's rare.

[snakelegs]

i think it would be very difficult to keep it pure if the people involved are young. pure friendships can develop, but it is the exceptional rather than the norm. also, i believe one should be very careful on the internet.

[skhalid]

The best way to avoid fings from turning 'curvy'..is not 2 b friends in the 1st place...it says that a male and a female...who are not blood related..shouldn't meet in secret...or have a private relationship...that no one else knws about...basically...us gyals shudn't evn tlk 2 boys who we can end up marryin in the end!!!

[bsgoohbi]

Thank you all for your contributions, whether you are agree or disagree.

let me say something, we all know that in Islam there is no friendship between male and female. But let us admit that this kind of friendship is a reality and active between most of male and female Muslim people.

the problem here is that most of us refuse this attitude, but we don't implement this refusal in the reality?

what is the best way to prevent this impermissible friendship from going away?

I guess it is so hard to do so?

[- Qatada -]

You just have to break the bond, thats the only option.

If you keep telling each other that you'll gradually break it off, you desire to be with them more because absence makes you want their friendship more.


The best option is to break it off and tell that person from the opposite gender that you have to, and then choose other friends from the same gender. Obviously these friends should be good practising muslims, otherwise they might make friends with people from the opposite gender again.

These practising muslim friends will help you and keep your mind occupied on more important issues, about islaam etc. You might miss the friend from the opposite gender, but gradually it will die out insha'Allaah so long as you don't keep going back to them. Your friends will take their place insha'Allaah; just remember to keep making dua and have patience because they're the best weapons of the believer.

[Pk_#2]

Ermmmm...i think theres nothing wrong with it,

depending on who you are,

if you keep your distance n u no wear u stand n dat then its cool,

i know some guys who go a bit 'coo coo' when they chat to a girl for more then two days :|

I also know girls who get all 'giggly' with guys

And meeeeeeeee

am jus weird



..

[Ashley]

i dunt get it i hav been friends with this boy for like since i was 12 ,and nothing ever happened between us , we are just good friends why cant u be friends with boys i mean if u don't do anyfink or you are not attracted to him then why cant u be friends
please brothers and sisters don't think im a person who doesn't obey rules i do but im soo new to islam and i just want to no thats all after all i havnt grown up being a muslim and alot of ideas i dunt understand
i jat want to understand so i hope u wil help me understand