I just got married and when I got to my in-laws house, found that my husband had a TV in his room. Now that is a problem for me - number one, I hate TV because it is a conversation killer, it is filthy and wastes life.
How do I encourage him to get rid of it from the room without acting like a control freak?
no seriously, he won't give up just because you don't like it. So be patient. From your post, I'm assuming that the nature of the programmes your husband views aren't always desirable. Don't worry.
Follow these steps.. in this order
preparation
1) without mentioning the TV, talk to him about zina of the eyes and ears. Tell him that seeing and hearing what's forbidden is sin. Give his brain time to absorb undesirable information. Be casual, like, "SubhanAllah can you imagine that looking at nudity etcetc.. is zina of the eyes. And our eyes will testify against us on the D.O.J!" Or something like that.
2) Few days later... enforce the message with evidence, e.g. books, audios, (don't mention TV yet) and provide Quranic verses + hadith about lowering the gaze and hayaa. Quip that this includes not looking at pictures too!
3) A few days later, by which time he might have realised that he's seeing haram images on TV too, mention that we're constantly being bombarded with offensive images on TV. Again, say it's fitnah and zina for our eyes.
4) Help him increase his knowledge of deen. It's amazing how knowledge affects our hearts and minds and we mentally and physically start refraining from everything that is haram.
5) Be a role model. If your husband sees you striving for your deen, it will have a positive effect on him. Whether he's affected through guilt or genuine interest, at least it's got his attention! Then........
Prepare for the strike!
1) when he has the TV on and something offensive comes on (bad lingo/nudity) say, "astaghfirullahhhhhh!!!!!!! This is what I meant by zina of the eyes and ears!" *look deeply offended x million* ffended: ffended:
3) Hopefully, hopefully, inshaAllah, inshaAllah, even if he doesn't get rid of the TV instantly, everything he's learnt will be playing on his conscience. Strike while the iron's hot! I can't tell you exactly how to say it. But sumthing like, "Hun/sweetheart (whatever..whatever..) I really think we should get rid of the TV. There's just too much filth on it." etc etc...
You know my brain's just died! Anyway, do it that way if you wanna do it the gentle way and best of all in a way that he'll happily oblige with. I mean u can argue about it but that's going to make him resentful. Bad idea!
Course, you don't have to follow the plan with military precision, but with hikmah and a little bit of cunning in any way you see best should also work.
Good luck! Plz let me know the outcome if you follow my plan.
the simplest way is just call a tv technician, tell him to cut a wire inside a TV, and the TV will not work anymore, or maybe drop a glass of water on the TV and then dry it
format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
I just got married and when I got to my in-laws house, found that my husband had a TV in his room. Now that is a problem for me - number one, I hate TV because it is a conversation killer, it is filthy and wastes life.
How do I encourage him to get rid of it from the room without acting like a control freak?
Please help me!
Jazakallah
It isn't that bad. For all you know he might have been using it for factual programs and the news. If it is really an issue of concern for you, then inshaAllah talk to him about it openly.
I have a solution but it only works on how much effort you put into it.
U do know the timing when your hubby watches TV right so in jus 5 to 10 minutes before it you start to recite the Qur'an in your room or perform the necessary preyers on that time or do Zikr
I am sure that most people give more respect to Qur'an and Prayer than any entertainment.
Ultimately you not only strengthen your Emaan but instead you also Strengthen the Emaan of your Hubby.
use my plan... but if that doesn't work do something like vpb suggested. But he might just buy another TV - an even bigger one! Better to replace the fuse with one that doesn't work. When he susses and replaces it, make sure u keep the old one then change it again. keep it up til he gets fed up and gives up.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
use my plan... but if that doesn't work do something like vpb suggested. But he might just buy another TV - an even bigger one! Better to replace the fuse with one that doesn't work. When he susses and replaces it, make sure u keep the old one then change it again. keep it up til he gets fed up and gives up.
i bet he's gonna think that there are some phantasms in the house :P blowing up the fuses . lol
The instructions given above are only for educational purposes only, and we hold no responsibility for any potential damage it may cause.
Alternative:
- before he goes to tv try to catch him in something interesting things to do. What he likes. 99% will stop to do what they like.
I wish to be so talkative like you because i can't imagine myself able to speak 3 or 4 hours each day.For me the tv will be a "friend" which will save me from embarassing moments spend in 2. - silence everywhere.
then it would not strengthen the relationship but makes the condition even worse
Or will make it better because are men which likes to feel number one. When he will notice the wife was able to damage the tv in order to spend more time with she, what would you say
seriously,
just find out first what he is watching, if it is like (news, quiz shows etc) then why stop him, but if he's watching something which is haram then the best way is just to talk to him. u can't do stuff in sneaky way, bc if he finds out he will be angry that somebody is trying to do tricky stuff to make him do something. so be honest and talk to him.
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because i can't imagine myself able to speak 3 or 4 hours each day.For me the tv will be a "friend" which will save me from embarassing moments spend in 2. - silence everywhere.
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