I'am a Muslim woman, but not that religious. I don't pray and I don't wear the Hijab, I do however fast. I've sweared to God many times when I wasn't telling the truth and I did many things that are not acceptable by Islam but I do cry afterwards and I promise not do them again but I do do them again. I really want God's forgiveness and I want to be a better Muslim. What do I do?
I am going to give just a simple line and I really think it works great if you are sincere.
"If you don't like something about yourself; CHANGE IT!"
change one thing at a time. Fix your alarm clock tonight with intention of praying fajr (4:48)--and during morning you'll be really lucid.. like a brand new person at the start of a brand new day.. you can make tawba then and ask it from G-D along with guidance ... and then 123 you are on your way to be a better Muslim insh'Allah---
we all go through through a "lag phase"... maybe not?-- I don't know, but I speak for my person when I say I didn't pray for the longest time and one day I woke up early and prayed fajr and haven't stopped since...
so give it a try-- and one thing I really like to do is keep a log of the things I have done right and wrong... or just to write my thoughts and feelings down... and it really helps when you read what you have written you can see what you have done and how much progress you have made.. Today I haven't made much progress and I can see there are checks missing for things I should have done and it makes me sad but also makes me want to make up for them tomorrow....
fi aman illah
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Sis...firstly i would like to congratulate you for having the courage to change. MABROOK!!! Alot of people have this wishful thinking of being a better / good person but they never did anything to improve themselves. and wishful thinking is forbidden in islam.
A barrier separates them (Wa bayna-humaa hijaab), while the Purgatory is occupied by people who recognize each side by their looks. They will call dwellers of paradise:"Peace be upon you." They did not enter (paradise) through wishful thinking." (Quran 7:46)
i agree with sis purestambrosia.
Everybody need to change not just you. Everyday we need to change to be better person. Without change there will be no improvement.
What to change? start by critisizing yourself but remember...this is not to dampen your spirit but this is actually the other way round. By telling yourself you can do it...you can make changes.
The Commander of the Faithful, 'Umar bin al-Khattab says: "Criticize and appraise yourselves before you are criticized and appraised on the Day of Judgment, and weigh out your deeds, before they are weighed out for you."
and another thing you should remember
Focus your mind on the actual part you want to do. For example i want to pray 5 times a day. Do not worry yourself on small matter.
“A sign of one’s excellence in his Islam, is ignoring what does not concern him.”
Related by Ahmad, Malik & At-Tirmithi
But never give up when you feel down after you have trying so hard. Remember the struggle and effort of trying to change to be a better person will be rewarded. The little jihad you're doing is something you should be proud of. Remember...every little change you do will be rewarded.
Change yourself gradually, bit by bit. InshaAllah one day you will see the difference.
Whatever you do, Allah subhanahuwata'ala will always be there for you.
May Allah make us both an excellent muslimah. Ameen.
Last edited by syilla; 03-20-2007 at 04:02 AM.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
You know what, just a few days ago, I had the same problem. I was what you'd call a 'Muslim by name', I didn't pray, I didn't read the Quran and well lets just say, that I've done alot that I've got to repent for. My sins were leading me to misery and I could slowly see my pathetic life sliding away from the edge of the cliff to its doom. So what happened to me? How am I here posting on this board?
Let me just say that, I had no realization that some people do. I didn't just wake up one day and thought 'Hmm, I need to pray to go to heaven.' What it took was alot of thinking on my part.
You know, the fact that you are here asking for help proves you want to change. So why don't you begin?
I think someone on this board mentioned once that when a baby first learns to walk, it usually falls after its first steps, but he/she doesn't give up. The baby knows that it must learn. It was programmed to learn no matter how many times he or she falls.
You and I WILL fall. Again and again we will fall. But what can we do? We are human beings. We are faulty, at error, mislead, and alot of other things.
The best thing for you to do is remember those things that you did. Remember those sins that you've committed. If you do not remember them, you will lose faith. You will become proud and lose faith. It's part of shaytaan's plan. He misleads you in anyway possible, and there are MANY WAYS. When you remember those sins, you remember Allah and then you must repent.
May allah forgive me if I have said anything wrong and may he also forgive if I have mislead any of you.
Keep doing taubah, but you gotta make a move in changing. it aint gonna happen by itself.. Just tell youself i aint gonna do this sin no more. im gonna be a better Muslim.. Sign that your taubah is accepted is that you've given up that sin..
format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
I'am a Muslim woman, but not that religious. I don't pray and I don't wear the Hijab, I do however fast. I've sweared to God many times when I wasn't telling the truth and I did many things that are not acceptable by Islam but I do cry afterwards and I promise not do them again but I do do them again. I really want God's forgiveness and I want to be a better Muslim. What do I do?
Jesus told a story which, though not repeated in the Qur'an, I think you will still find contains a valuable lesson:
Matthew 21 -- The Parable of the Two Sons
28"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.'
29" 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.
30"Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go.
31"Which of the two did what his father wanted?"
"The first," they answered.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.
Well, what does it take to be a better Muslim? Forget making promises. If you are really sincere just do it:
Pray
Wear the Hijab
Fast
Don't swear falsely.
If you know something to be haraam, don't do it.
And if you know something to be an obligation, then do do it.
And if you fail at that, and you will (we all fail), don't live in the past. Get up the next day and begin again truly seeking to do the best you can at each moment without praise for having done well in the past, nor carrying condemnation for not having done well. Just resolve that this minute, which is the only one you have any control over, you will follow Islam and submit to Allah to the fullest extent that you can right now. If you truly live for Allah in the present, you will have no regrets about the past in your future.
Sister, i heard this lecture a little while back and it benefited me alot. He mentions that the Messenger of Allaah said that all of the children of Adam sin, but the best of sinners are those who repent. Part of the repentance process is to actually feel guilt for your sin and to make the repentance, so long as you really have the sincere intention that you don't fall into it again in the future purposelly.
Therefore keep repenting and don't give up, whenever you make a mistake - no matter how much times you fall, climb back up again and strive towards Allaah.
Do not despair that Allah will not forgive you for your sins, nor should you take Allah's forgiveness for granted. One must strive to strike a balance between the two by asking for tauba from Allah for their sins. As Brother Yasir mentions in the cd: "...you must strive to be the best of the sinners because the best of the sinners ask for tauba...
From the Back Cover: We continue to commit acts of disobedience against our very purpose of existence and we often times don't notice. Shaykh Yasir warns us from taking a lax attitude towards asking for forgiveness and also reminds us, using heart softening ahadith, not to fall into despair or neglect the importance of tauba.
If you have any questions - please don't hesitate to ask.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (Peace be upon him), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said:
A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: O Allah, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.
format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
I did many things that are not acceptable by Islam but I do cry afterwards and I promise not do them again but I do do them again. I really want God's forgiveness and I want to be a better Muslim. What do I do?
i have exactly the same problem but i tries my best but every times i fails. i am fed up of myself now. what i have to do? all people the things suggested here not works because there is some chance happens that all the good things and progress made is again become zero and we lose spirit and hope at that time.:laugh:
i have exactly the same problem but i tries my best but every times i fails. i am fed up of myself now. what i have to do? all people the things suggested here not works because there is some chance happens that all the good things and progress made is again become zero and we lose spirit and hope at that time.:laugh:
May Allaah make it easy for you brother. Please read this thread inshaa Allaah:
i have exactly the same problem but i tries my best but every times i fails. i am fed up of myself now. what i have to do? all people the things suggested here not works because there is some chance happens that all the good things and progress made is again become zero and we lose spirit and hope at that time.:laugh:
Do you know the story of Sisyphus from Greek mythology?
Sisyphus is best known for being punished in the Underworld by rolling a stone with his hands and head in an effort to heave it over the top of a hill; but regardless of how much he pushes, the stone rebounds backwards again and again. So, he spends eternity trying to push the stone up to the top of the hill only to have it roll down and then he has to start all over again.
Now, I think living a righteous life is in many ways like that. We have the task before us. It is pretty clear what it takes to do it. We try. And we fail. At that point, unlike Sisyphus, we have a choice. We can quit. Go our own way. Decide that we don't care about being righteous, and accept the consequences of our actions.
Or we can start over. Do it again. Pick up where we left off and continue to strive to be righteous again.
Personally, I don't think it is so important to succeed at getting the stone to the top, as it is to continually strive to get there.
None of us are perfect. If perfection was possible, we would not be dependent on Allah's mercy, but we would be able to say that we "deserved" our reward. I suppose some view their lives this way; I do not. I know that in God's eyes, no matter how good I see myself to be, in reality I am a sinner. Thus if ever I am to be allowed into paradise, it will be because God is gracious, not because I have earned it.
However, that does not mean that I should quit striving to be the person God wants me to be. Rather, even though I know that in the end, no matter how high I am able to push the stone up the hill that it will eventually come crashing back down. If not today, then tomorrow or the next. It will come back down because I will slip and fall short of God's glory. Nonetheless, my real task is to simply keep going up the hill. This is the test I have before me in my life. The real test is not to see if I can get to the top and be perfect like God is perfect, I've already failed at that. The real test is to see if I will keep striving, keep submitting, keep trying to live as God would want me to, even in the face of my persistent failures. The real test is to see if I'm a quitter or not.
So, you are fed up with yourself. You should be. If you have decided that it just isn't worth the effort to try and be righteous because you aren't able, then you should be fed up with yourself. You know that God is willing to accept you with your impeferctions. So that has you settling on being imperfect.
My friend, it is one thing to be honest about the struggles you are having. To admit that it is a tough fight. That the test is difficult. But it is another altogether to quit the fight and throw in the towel.
You want to know what to do? You get out there and commit yourself to the task of living the life God has called you to. You put your shoulder to the stone and start pushing it back up that hill again. You face your failure square in the face and try, try again. The longest journey not only begins with the first step, it is accomplished one step at a time. So, whatever happens, keep you focus on your failures, but where it should be, keep your focus on God, and then just keep putting one foot in front of the other, headed in that direction.
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