I just wanted to ask how people here deal with problems at work?
Noone at my workplace knows Im Muslim/reverting/whatever, and Ive had several problems with peoples behaviour, which I cant tell the manager about.
Firstly, theres an old woman who comes to the shop, and belittles me, and tries to make me look bad in front of other customers-because I cant speak Welsh.
Shes evil incarnate, I swear.
:grumbling
I dont know how to get rid of her-obviously I cant tell her where to go, and theres noone around to tell her off for me (i.e.manager having a word about her behaviour/banning her from the store).
Its horrible being slandered in front of people. Like yesterday-Id just finished serving a girl, who said "diolch" to me (thanks in welsh), and before I could answer, the old lady comes up and starts grabbing and pat my wrists, saying things like "Im always having to tell you to say thankyou to people, arent I?", along with other things which made me look bad in front of other customers.
Secondly, A lot of my workmates stir things up for others behind peoples backs. Today, I found out that people had been telling the manager that Ive been using the loo regularly at the same time each day, and that I take ages etc. etc. So the manager calls me into his office, and starts asking me if theres any reason why I spend so long on the loo (which isnt necessarily true)-basically, he was asking me to tell him what my toilet habits were. I nearly fell off my chair. He was also implying that people had talked about me behind my back about this because they thought that I was sneaking a break when I shouldnt...!
Is there any way in which I should have answered him? Cause I felt-and still feel-that it was an inappropriate thing to ask, when he could have asked a female member of staff to have a chat-if anyone had to ask at all! I suppose that I could have a word with him, but what would I say?
Basically, I want to know-aside from being polite-if theres any way in which I could deal with this sort of thing, If it happens again? Im just confused!
Last edited by Thanaa; 07-27-2007 at 02:41 PM.
A whisper of peace,
Moving through the land.
Allah will surely run to us if we hold out our hands.
A word of hope will call to every woman and man.
A light until the end of time,
This is our Islam.
Are you part of a union? Sounds like bullying to me, which workers' unions might know how to deal with effectively.
Day to day stuff... have you talked to the people who are giving you a rough time? I mean, have you talked to them about it?
No...Im not part of a union...
I have no proof, except that I have heard them talking about other members of staff who they thought were skiving/taking extra days off, etc. in an horrific manner. My manager at the time (shes still manager technically-one of the assistant managers is "manager" at the mo, cause the female ones away at another store) called this particular woman (the one they wer slandering) an f****** liar. ffended:
I was also told that they had said similar things about me one week when I had been genuinely ill-oddly enough, It was the woman that members of staff had slagged off who told me (she still doesnt know that they had talked about her so rudely)...she wanted me to know in advance in case anyone said anything to me.
I also notice odd things like sometimes I go past people who are chatting, and theyll look at me and move around the corner and keep talking. Its bizarre.
Dont get me wrong-Im not paranoid, and Ive tried to think everything through before Ive decided that there is a problem, but I dont feel that I can trust anyone, except a couple of people...
A whisper of peace,
Moving through the land.
Allah will surely run to us if we hold out our hands.
A word of hope will call to every woman and man.
A light until the end of time,
This is our Islam.
Hmm. Maybe the best thing would be to talk to some of these people (or ideally the manager) in a non-threatening manner about the issues.
The old lady customer seems small-fry compared to potential bullying from colleagues. That's just me looking from an outsider's perspective, so I apologise if it sounds insensitive or anything.
A few duahs which you can recite on your way to work. Unfortunately I dont have the English translation but the French translation. The duas are from Hisnul Muslim. Brothers and sisters who have the book can please look up the English translation and post them here? Jazaakallah khair.
اللّهُـمَّ إِنا نَجْـعَلُكَ في نُحـورِهِـم، وَنَعـوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شُرورِهـمْ
Sorry to hear about your experiences at work. It sounds all too familiar to me. Where there is a couple of women forced to spend the best hours of the day together, working, slandering is to be expected.
I remember working with 6 other ladies and at first I found them so rude and horrible. They would speak very loud, talk about customers/patients, talk about each other, swear at each other, swear at the manager behind her back. It was really disgusting. I hated being around them... and I knew for sure they would be talking about me. Their comments didnt really bother me or I just didnt show them they did.
I would advise you to simply be yourself and be a nice person to work with. I just continued being polite with them, bought chocolates for the girls, would cover for them... and really tried to make an impression on the manager. And yunno it really worked for me... They definately treated me better then they did each other, even sneakily dropped afew compliments.
The old lady customer seems small-fry compared to potential bullying from colleagues. That's just me looking from an outsider's perspective, so I apologise if it sounds insensitive or anything.
Yeah I agree with that. You will always get afew customers who are never happy. The next time she says "Im always having to tell you to say thankyou to people, arent I?"... just say "Yes you are...I always seem to forget, mother" and *roll eyes* lol.
I sort of formed a friendship with my manager, which I know the others didnt have. It was really funny when I told her I would have to leave, she thought I was leaving because the others were bullying me and insisted I tell her if they were.
Its not easy, but its something you have to build up really. Slowly they'll start to respect you and they'll have nothing to say about you. Then its your turn to bully them :P, nah im kidding. I pray that things get easier for you, because I know how difficult it can be.
....If thou knowest not thy God, thou art a slave of men;
And if thou dost, thy slaves are kings and potentates.
The heart’s freedom is kingly; its slavery is death,
It is for thee to decide — to be a king or a slave.
[Baal-e-Jibreel, Allama Iqbal 1935]
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I suppose that I could have a word with him, but what would I say?
ffended:
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