Ramadan and Non-Muslims

[Sarada]

My daughter is a Muslima married to a Muslim. Every year during Ramadan, she avoids me and her father because we are not Muslims. We find this very hurtful. We do everything we possibly can to accommodate her in her new faith. Why will she not visit us or invite us to her home even after the sun has set?

[Ummah]

My cousin's wife converted to islam from hinduism too. MashAllah she is a better practicing muslimah then most of our family but still she is always visiting her parents (who are still hindu) no matter what month, whether ramadan or whatever. she even invites her parents over for iftar (when the sun sets and you break your fast in ramadan). Her parents are great!

When a person converts to islam, they still owe a full duty to their parents to look after them and respect them.

I dont know why your daughter is doing this if you are fully supportive of her being a muslim and marrying a muslim. There's nothing wrong with her being with you during ramadan!

Maybe if you were actively doing something to hinder her practice of islam, or put her off islam then she may be avoiding you, but the fact that youve come to this website and made a thread about this doesnt make you sound like that kind of person.Also you said you do everything to accomodate her new faith.. so really you sound like very suppportive parents

During ramadan, when the sun begins to set, muslims break their fast and pray the 4th prayer of that day. then they eat their evening meal usually. Just before the last prayer they pray something called "tarawih" which is an additional prayer and often prayed in a mosque.. maybe your daughter likes to spend her evenings praying to Allah or preparing for this longer prayer during Ramadan and therefore doesnt have time to visit you?
Because ramadan is also a time for lots of praying because the doors of forgiveness open more if you get me

do you live far from her?

Have you spoken to her about this?

sorry im writing this in a rush so may not have explained myself properly!

[Sarada]

Thank-you for your reply. Ummah. I am happy to know that Islam should not prevent our daughter from associatiing with us during Ramadan. We do try our best to accommodate her and are happy that she has found such a wonderful husband and that she is happy in her faith. Of course, out of a lack of understanding, we occasionally make mistakes, but we mean well, and I believe they both know that.

We have never brought up the subject directly, because we do not wish to intrude. I first wanted to get advice as to what the requirements are.

I think I will bring up the subject again before Ramadan starts in September.

Thank-you again for your support.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

well islam encourages the children to be close and comforting to their parents.

hmm i dont kno why shes doing this, you should talk to her about it.

get an arbitrator if need be, hopefully things will be better (God Willing (InshaALlah))

[UmmSqueakster]

Wow, you're such a nice mom I would be happy if my parents actually remembered when Ramadan is and it would be beyond happiness if they wished me a happy eid.


In addition to increased mindfulness and worship God during Ramadan, a big part of the month is the nightly breaking of the fast - the iftar. It's usually a big family get together or community event. Maybe you could mention in passing to your daughter that you have heard about the iftar and that you would like to join her and her husband sometime, and that you could even bring some food Then you could enjoy the time together as a family and then leave before the evening prayers.

Now, I'm just speculating here as to the reason your daughter may not be open about seeing you guys during Ramadan. I know that even after all these years, I am still shy about practicing my faith in front of my parents. Their faith is very private, so when it's time to pray or if we're fasting, I always feel ackward in front of them. These last few years, my birthday has been during Ramadan, and my parents have always wanted to come up and celebrate, but I've put them off, mainly because I don't want to feel ackward about fasting while they're here.


For some good reading, check out the Ramadan articles under the R section of the index of Saudi Aramco world. Here are some other articles as well.

Keep doing what you're doing. It's wonderful that you're willing to accept your daughter. She's very lucky to have you.

[Sarada]

Thank-you, Janaan, for those very kind words. They brought tears to my eyes. It's nice to see that there is so much support out there. Your suggestions are very helpful.

[Ourra-Tul-'Ain]

sallam Sarada(Pease)
Your daughter is very lucky to have a mother like you . You seem open minded and understanding.

What I would advice is for you to reassure your daughter that she should not feel awkward when practising her faith, and Islam is a way of life, so we as Muslims should be thinking of our creator at all times, (I’m sure she loves you very dearly too) so be honest and tell her what is on your mind.

All the best:smile:

[Protected_Diamond]

Respecting parents is a MUST in Islam. Maybe she just needs time to adjust to things?? you know what girls are like lol. Don't worry so much. She'll come running back to you...coz you are her mum after all.

[yigiter187]

when she learns how much much importance islam gives to mum and father,she will come and hug you inshallah..