Seeing as the marriage forum has magically disappeared, *clears throat* I thought I'd post it here. It's looking like I might be meeting a brother as a potential husband, InshAllah, and I'm at a bit of a loss as to the kind of questions I should ask. I have a general idea but the questions I have lined up are a bit lame....so any ideas?
Ask him how much money he has in the bank, what car he drives, where he likes to go on holiday, how often he likes to go on a holyday. Where you will be living, if he wants you to come and live with his family (so you can take care of his mother and cook for all his extended family everyday)
Lol, no Wallahi I’m joking ………..ask him about his deen, what his values are, what makes him happy, what makes him angry, his ambitions, what his views are on marriage….. And ask ask if he knows the rights of the husband and wife inshallah.
My Allah (swa) make you successful in finding the man of your dreams inshallah khair.
1) Does he go to the mesjid regularly? How important is that for him?
2) What does he see are the rights of the wife?
3) What does he see are the rights of the husband?
4) How important does he feel love is?
5) Does he want a family? How big/small? (compared to yourself)
6) How does he like to spend his time?
7) Does he feel he can teach you anything?
i'd have tons of stuff to ask....
but tbh its the gut feeling you get about the person..whatever it is..my advice is follow it...(and pray istikhara of course!)
inshaAllah you get the best husband for you , your iman and your deen and your heart.
1) Does he go to the mesjid regularly? How important is that for him?
2) What does he see are the rights of the wife?
3) What does he see are the rights of the husband?
4) How important does he feel love is?
5) Does he want a family? How big/small? (compared to yourself)
6) How does he like to spend his time?
7) Does he feel he can teach you anything?
i'd have tons of stuff to ask....
but tbh its the gut feeling you get about the person..whatever it is..my advice is follow it...(and pray istikhara of course!)
inshaAllah you get the best husband for you , your iman and your deen and your heart.
firstly i agree with the sister that said that this thread should be moved to the sisters section. This is a bit too 'girly' but you might be looking for input form the brothers too... I would ask him how he treats his mother. How often he visits her? weather or not he buys her presents at times? How he speaks to his mother ect. why will i bother ask this... well, if a man does not respect his own mother with the respect she deserves, he does not treat her well and speaks to her in an unpleasant way... will he respect me?... will he take care of my needs... The answers to that are likely to be No. I would ask him about what he would like to do in the future InshaAllah - if he is intending to learn the deen InshaAllah. Money is'nt everything but i would ask him if he has enough money to provide for a family.
But sister dont take an entire cheklist, no one is perfect. If he is someone who is commited to the deen then that may be enough. Allah Alam.
Last edited by ummAbdillah; 08-06-2007 at 08:01 PM.
1) How important does he feel it is to follow the Sunnah?
2) What kind of relations does he wish to keep with his family?
3) What does he expect from his wife in relation to his family?
4) Does he pay Zakat?
also i think one of the best things to look for in a man is gentleness..you can't really question him on this..but try to have some life conversations and put some scenarios to him see how he responds....
Rasulullah saw said to Aisha ra 'Be gentle..for gentleness adorns everything in which it is found and its absence leaves everything tainted....
You need to judge if he is gentle and also if he knows how to compromise and also apologise..thats what marriage is all about
Sisters, these are great questions. I wouldn't have been able to think them upon my own. Sister aisha, i see what you mean about it being girly, but yes input from the brothers could be useful as they will hold a different prospective.
this is from experience ask him will he allow u to see your own family. since ur parents had the duty of bringing u up make sure he does not cut of ties with them. i pray for u
format_quote Originally Posted by Protected_Diamond
Should move this thread to the sisters section....lol
Yeh seems like a better place...
...I wonder at the one who extends his right hand
To his beloved at the time of seperation and he hastens therein!
I felt weak and incapable of saying farewell when I saw him
So my heart shook his hand whilst my eye wept....
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what car he drives, where he likes to go on holiday, how often he likes to go on a holyday. Where you will be living, if he wants you to come and live with his family (so you can take care of his mother and cook for all his extended family everyday)
………..ask him about his deen, what his values are, what makes him happy, what makes him angry, his ambitions, what his views are on marriage….. And ask ask if he knows the rights of the husband and wife inshallah.
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