A delicate topic - teenage boys!

[glo]

Hi all!

I have pondered since yesterday whether I should write this post or not. Finally I have decide that I should - just to hear what advice/suggestions I will get.

Here's the story:
I went into the local Islamic shop yesterday to buy an Eid card. The only people in the shop were two Muslim lads, who are working there. Both in traditional Muslim clothing, including the prayer cap, both very polite and helpful.
I found a card I liked, and they proceeded to do their best to sell me some Eid gifts too - very promising business men!
They told me that they were 14 and 15 (I asked about their age because the boys I am looking for gifts for are 10 and 12).
The older one showed me some Islamic children's books and a collection of Hadiths in Urdu.
I paid and left the shop to make some purchases in the Christian bookshop just three doors away.

Within minutes of me leaving the Islamic shop, I saw one of the two Muslim lads leave and make a beeline for the newsagent across the road. When I popped in there myself just moments later, I found him looking at, let's call them 'top-shelf magazines of an adult content'.
I must admit that I was take a bit aback.
Minutes earlier this young lad had shown me the hadiths, now he was looking at topless models!

Two things crossed my mind:
Firstly, this young man was easily identifyable as a Muslim by his clothing alone. Does this, and the fact that he works in an Islamic shop, give him added responsibility to represent the Ummah in a suitable manner?

Secondly, I was somewhat concerned about the very short amount of time that had lapsed between me leaving the shop and him going into the newsagent, and - I may just be paranoid here - but I couldn't help feeling that my presence may have somehow prompted his action ...
I would hate to think that I have that effect on any man (other than my husband), let alone a lad young enough to be my son!
(I would like to add that I was wearing loose clothing, long sleeves and long jacket, and had my hair tied back, and was in no way provocatively dressed)

I have spoken to my husband about this, and he didn't think it was a big deal. As far as he is concerned, this is what teenage boys do ... and he thinks me having been in the shop just previously was probably just a coincidence.

I must say, that there was a moment when I wanted to tap the young lad on the shoulder and say "So what do the Hadiths say about this then??!" - but I didn't think it was my role or right to do so ... and I certainly did not want to embarrass him!
So I let it go.

Should I have done or said something?
What do you think?

[Grace Seeker]

Glo, what would you have thought and done if the order of the shops you visited had been reversed? What if you had gone into the Christian bookstore first, there been waited on by some teenage boys and when you went down the street to the Islamic shop happened to see one of those "Christian" young men looking at the same magazines?

I think that your husband is right, if probably has nothing to do with your presence in the store, and everything to do with the hormones that run through young (and even older) men. But, would you have walked over and said anything to them about what the Bible verses they might have just shared with you had to say about what they were doing? I wasn't there so I can't say what you should have done, but I know that sometimes I do speak up and sometimes I don't. For me, it depends on whether or not I feel that I have enough of a connection with the individual to gain a hearing? Or do I think that I would just be dismissed as a busybody? Maybe I shouldn't worry about that, and maybe I should go ahead and speak up everytime. But, I don't think the issue has to do with the fact that the young men were Muslim, as much as you know that the behavior was contrary to the principles they were indirectly espousing just moments before. If it had been me, I would have hated you for pointing out the incongruity between my beliefs and my practice, but in the long run if I was sincere about my faith I would have appreciated it as you were really looking out for me in the process. Of course, not everyone who works in a religious bookstore (be it Islamic or Christian) or attends a mosque or a church is in fact sincere about their beliefs, and such persons would probably just tell you to bug off and mind your own business. In my mind, that is less your problem than theirs.

[north_malaysian]

talking about teenage boys....

[snakelegs]

i agree with your husband. not a big deal, and nothing to do with you.
as a non-muslim, i certainly don't think it was your place to say anything to him!
let god be god (leave the judgment up to him).
i think religious teenage boys are often in conflict between the demands of their religion and the demands of their hormones.
surely you have observed christians after church saying things that are quite "un-christian"?

[Malaikah]

What kind of irresponsible newsagent has these kinds of magazines just lying around where under-aged boys can look at them?

I don't know if you should have said anything- maybe you should have told the guy who runs the newsagent to do something about it. (As far as I know, don't they have some kind of responsibility too?)

[glo]

Grace Seeker, I think if it had been a Christian boy I would have felt very much the same. However, whether he was Christian or not may not have been so immediately obvious, as it was with this young Muslim lad.
If it had been a Christian boy I would have been more likely to raise the topic in a Christian forum though.

Snakelegs, of course I witness Christians acting un-Christ-like. Only all the time. And I include myself in that.
I hope you know that my intention in my OP was not to point the finger of blame at a young Muslim man, or even question his sincerity in faith.
My question was to do with my own reaction to the situation. I felt quite unnerved, and perhaps even a little vulnerable.

Malaikah, here in the UK it is very common to have adult magazines on the shelves - in shops run by non-Muslims and by Muslims alike. Usually on the top shelf to be out of reach and sight of small children - but not high enough to be out of reach of a lanky 14 or 15-year-old.

Thanks for your thoughts and comments.

[Pk_#2]

I think it's normal, but Astaghfirullah, May Allah (subhana wa ta'ala)help the ummah | were they fasting :X nevermind, maybe he accidently looked don't judge the other bro though sis, he may be completely different to him inshaAllah a wayy better bruv Peace wub

[IbnAbdulHakim]

are you 299.99.9% sure he was checking out the nasty?

wat if he was looking at the spider hanging above the magazines? :X

[rozeena]

if u had posted dis couple weeks bak i wudnt have believed sum1 in a islamic shop behaving in that way. bt cam across similar incident last week bt slightly differnt:X

[IbnAbdulHakim]

maybe its because their young... i hope these brothers get married soon

[Ibn Al Aqwa]

yeh, trust me

i know because im with people like this....all day long....to me this is no surprise....

people were topee, jabbah...and sometimes even a turban...but when you get to know them a bit more, they will give you a little shock...May Allah guide them (im talking of teenagers here)

[IbnAbdulHakim]

yeh, trust me

i know because im with people like this....all day long....to me this is no surprise....

people were topee, jabbah...and sometimes even a turban...but when you get to know them a bit more, they will give you a little shock...May Allah guide them (im talking of teenagers here)

what i think it could be is that they get involved with religious boys and dislike looking bad in front of them. the taqwa and emaan may not be present as of yet Audhubillah.

i think as the boys grow up though it is very likely they will obtain hidayaah due to their surroundings, may Allah make what i say true Ameen (about the hidayaah)

[Ibn Al Aqwa]

^about the hidaayah, i think that is true, they often grow to islam

but im not to clear on what you mean, in the first sentence...?

[rozeena]

maybe its because their young... i hope these brothers get married soon

ermm. wat if their already married? wt would ur advice b 2 dese men?

[Pk_#2]

^about the hidaayah, i think that is true, they often grow to islam

but im not to clear on what you mean, in the first sentence...?

They hang around with 'good lads' an don't wana look bad infront of them so they 'dress' the part, and act good while with them, but when they're gone they are someone else. ?

Ameen to the dua's,

Yeah sis Rozeena, maybe fasting, menno help with desires n all.

[shible]

People don't tend to do that just because they see it on the racks or due to their age as main reason.

It all depends on the way they grew up. the society with which they mingle during their teenage.

each and every one who grews up between different society will face these kind of disturbances

[IbnAbdulHakim]

ermm. wat if their already married? wt would ur advice b 2 dese men?

they wudnt hav these problems inshaAllah if their married because their wives will help subside such desires inshaAllah.

Our prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam told the young to marry as early as it is possible for them... for this very reason !

[Intisar]

Hello glo,

As far as I'm concerned there's nothing that you could have really done. Allah will deal with them justly, and for them to look at such dirty things that Allah has prohibited is just so disgusting. Had you said anything they wouldn't have listened anyway; they'd probably tell you to bug off since you're not Muslim ya know.

[Malaikah]

^Let's try to be a bit more sympathetic ... they are very young, 14-15, they probably just hit puberty and have such easy access to haram things... for all we know that might have been the first time he has ever opened such a magazine.

None amongst us is sinless. Maybe Allah guide him.

[syilla]

hi glo...i think if you ask them politely if their a muslim and saying to them i don't think muslim teach this am i right?

i'm sure they are embarassed and quickly run away.