When you're young enough to brush off and smile at any disagreements you and your spouse may have and when you're old enough to appreciate that life doesnt revolve around only you
I always had a plan in my head that I will marry by 23/24 and have my children a few years later.. (yeh im kinda sad!)
But im 20 now, and i think that even in 3 years i won't be quite ready for marriage.
I guess I'll just leave it to Allah(swt).. as he is the best of planners..even if i get married at a later time then i expected, im happy with what Allahs got planned for me inshallah
w'salam
x
Verily,we will indeed make victorious Our Messengers and those who believe, in this worlds life and on the day of Resurrection (40:51)
Wow its been a long time since I replied to a messege, but this was a topic that I've pondered upon for quite a long while.
The reality is that you should get married when you feel you're up to it. I've for the longest time have been ready. However, anyone that does know me, knows that I'm not the most reliable/dependable person, but deep down, I myself know I have what it takes. I haven't a good job, nor a rewarding career, yet I make the most out of it without any ill feelings. It is part of life that you will have ups and downs. Every girl that I have met (that isn't to say I've met them all) always wants a promising future. One with something to look forward to, not a poor person or a person with troubles. I cannot promise anything to anyone as I do not know what the future beholds. (do know that I'm not saying poor people don't get married)
I'm still 19 (yes it may come as a surprise to some of you :P) ... and my parents and all the adults in my life have discouraged marriage for me until I've secured a future for myself and a prospective partner. In essence that very opinion makes me long for it more. (the forbidden fruit)... You withhold something from someone and they'll long for it more.
I've realized that life is full of challenges and choices/options that I don't even understand, but I've got a whole lot of time to learn.
So that brings me back to the original question of what exactly is the appropriate age for marriage.
To answer that, I'll just say, given that whenever you feel yourself ready to take on the challenge, then you're ready (atleast that is my opinion, feel free to disagree) I know that wise words don't necessarily have to be spoken by wise people, it can also be spoken by fools and in my case I think I'm a fool.
Anyway I think that is all I'll say for now.
(I only started on this topic because I was having a very long discussion about it last night)
Well take care and inshallah you find someone worthwhile to spend your time with.
There is no perfect age and that is the truth. Don't set yourself up for disappointment because people have decreed you behind schedule, and don't forgo an opportunity because folks decree you too young. Only you know when it is time.
Otherwise Allah wouldn't have created us in such great varities. People die young, marry again, divorce, marry again, never marry, marry when financially secure, marry while 15, marry when they are 46, some marry while having children from rpevious marriage, some look for a partner with like circumstance as they are unable to conceive. If you set yourself up for an 'ideal' you'll really live an unhappy life.
When it is time, Allah will guide you to your suitable partner insha'Allah.. just make your intent noble!
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
This is a question lots off ppl will wonder about. However this topic started me thinking about a friend of mine who is now 24. She so much wants to get married to the right man. She had 2 men/boys come see her but nothing came off it. She worries and says stupid things like she's past her sell by date and other nonsense. We tell to come off it as she is still on the young side and to make Dua. Some ppl get married young-14-15, some ppl much much older. All is in Allah Ta'aala's hands.
But i think i know what you mean by asking. I would say when you feel an attraction to the opp gender. Feel you are responsible. And be able to look at the other side of the situation Personally i think maybe when i'm 18 i'll be open to proposals, but i dont know.....
Well, me personally, I'd get married from the ages of 22-24 inshaa'Allah. My mom got married at a very old age, so my parents are really old and I'm the youngest. So I'd like to get married early to get away from fitnah and for my parent's to be there at my wedding inshaa'Allah. :sunny:
The best age to get married is the age that Allah SWT has planned for you. He SWT will never give you anything you cant handle, so maybe if you are not married yet, its because Allah SWT knows that you will not be able to handle it, or perhaps the one whom you are to marry will not be able to handle it *yet*. Thats the best way to think of it, if it hasnt happened yet, its because Allah SWT is the best of planners and He SWT knows something you dont know....
The best age to get married is the age that Allah SWT has planned for you. He SWT will never give you anything you cant handle, so maybe if you are not married yet, its because Allah SWT knows that you will not be able to handle it, or perhaps the one whom you are to marry will not be able to handle it *yet*. Thats the best way to think of it, if it hasnt happened yet, its because Allah SWT is the best of planners and He SWT knows something you dont know....
Was Salaam
Very well said
. It is part of life that you will have ups and downs. Every girl that I have met (that isn't to say I've met them all) always wants a promising future.
Actually,I always thought that getting married young and living through those ups and downs with that person is better then living through them alone.(By ups and downs,im referring to studies,work,joyous events,hardaches..),either way,there's no such thing as a promising future so those girls are only fooling themselves.Nothing is ever 100% certain in this life.
Well,as for me,I'd like to get married before im..24?25?I don't know...age doesn't really matter...a question that pops up alot between me and my friends is "how old would you like your future husband/wife to be?" like age difference...
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what do u think?
come see her but nothing came off it. She worries and says stupid things like she's past her sell by date and other nonsense.
We tell to come off it as she is still on the young side and to make Dua. Some ppl get married young-14-15, some ppl much much older. All is in Allah Ta'aala's hands.
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