Imagine you’re called up for an interview right? You attend the interview and give it your best shot. You’ve spent time preparing for it, you’ve spent time getting ready and looking smart – you’ve basically done everything that is expected of you. Imagine you walk out of that interview thinking ‘it went ok – but I could have done better’ – yet you hope that they’ll say yes and offer you the job.
So the next day, though you pretend not to care, you’re on tenterhooks every time the phone rings. And when it does you instantly wonder whether it’s them. Are they calling to offer you the job? The anxiety and excitement is overwhelming! :enough!: And then it all comes crashing down when you learn it’s not the call you were expecting….still you go on hoping….
As the days go by your hopes fade………but finally the call comes. You’ve been turned down. You’re extremely disappointed and briefly entertain the idea of what could have been. The person on the other end sounds genuinely sorry and sympathetic – it makes you feel a little better. You’re grateful that they’ve had the courtesy of calling you back and letting you know. It provides closure to the whole episode. You can now move on, start job hunting again….atleast you know where you stand.
From all the job interviews that have resulted in rejection (and Alhumdullilah there haven’t been many) – I have always received a polite letter of rejection or a quick phone call. I have never been left waiting for more than a few days.
This leads me onto something that I simply don’t get…..
Why does our Muslim community think its ok to reject someone for marriage without the simplest of acknowledgements? I’m talking from a sister’s perspective – it’s not only me whose been through this but countless of sisters that I know.
To receive some sort of acknowledgement is common sense, courtesy, something I’m sure that our beloved Prophet pbuh would have advocated.
What do the ‘rejecters’ fear? Of feeling awkward? Abit cruel? No one is expecting a heart-felt apology over the phone. A polite email is suffice – I’m sure it doesn’t take days or weeks to decide whether you want to pursue things. Most people tend to make their minds up during the first meeting.
Be you a brother or sister – if you’re planning on turning a potential marriage candidate down – for goodness sake do the sensible thing. Just put yourself in the other person’s shoes and wonder how they’re feeling – waiting in anticipation.
From personal experience the first week after a meeting, without having heard anything, is heart rendering and extremely hard to bear. It’s not like you’ve been rejected because you don’t have the right qualifications – you’ve been rejected as a person – and so you end up taking it personally.
I just feel it’s important to treat every individual with respect. Ignoring them and thinking that they’ll ‘get the message’ is so very cruel and certainly not in the spirit of Islam.
Please take this message on board and bear it in mind should you ever end up rejecting someone.
From personal experience the first week after a meeting, without having heard anything, is heart rendering and extremely hard to bear. It’s not like you’ve been rejected because you don’t have the right qualifications – you’ve been rejected as a person – and so you end up taking it personally.
what do ya mean be rejected as a person? sounds simple enough, but i dont get it
I’m sure it doesn’t take days or weeks to decide whether you want to pursue things. Most people tend to make their minds up during the first meeting.
obviously marriage is a big decison, and with some people, one meeting is not sufficient, and sometimes it may take a few days and/or weeks. im not sure how many weeks your thinking, but i know someone who took about 3 months:X (whilst still indicating that they were interested):sunny:
From what i have seen sis is that all rejections are closed via a polite phonecall (rejections of proposals).
actually akhee, unfortunatley some people really do never reply back...
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 12-10-2007 at 06:57 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
It’s not like you’ve been rejected because you don’t have the right qualifications – you’ve been rejected as a person – and so you end up taking it personally.
Subhaan Allaah... It's very sad I know... And pathetic
Last edited by ------; 12-10-2007 at 07:50 PM.
Reason: Jazaak Allaah Khayr 2 da person dat pointed out i got d rong end of d stik lol
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From personal experience the first week after a meeting, without having heard anything, is heart rendering and extremely hard to bear. It’s not like you’ve been rejected because you don’t have the right qualifications – you’ve been rejected as a person – and so you end up taking it personally.
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