Surely the question you should be asking is that of COMPATIBLITY, which can be anything, Trust is always a good factor and of course a good muslim. But as for any thing specific and a 'list' thats really something you cant follow. Allah has made us all different but the same in praise to him, Alhumdulilah, so other than being a good muslim... it really falls on your personality and if your family have any say in the matter.
You cant make a list as you do for going out shopping when your looking to marry someone. It really does depends on you and your family.
But also to take into consideration is that to have a wife with good qualities... she should also have a husband with good qualities... and inshaAllah i hope you succeed in a good marriage.
If you are still having doubts about the woman you intend to marry then a list is not going to help you. If you cannot forgive the past it may be better to finish with her, but try and encourage her for the future.
Being a man in my grays with considerable experience in life and, having been married three times over I may have a useful tip or two.
1. Choose a true believer who fears Allah SWT and follows the bidding of her Lord.
2. If you have the choice btw. several believers choose the kindest.
3. Look for a woman of a steady temperament, who is content in life.
4. If she is also beautiful, but doesn't know it then that's a bonus.
5. Make sure you match her good qualities or she may not want you.:scared:
If i'm a guy i want to choose the girl with the best manners.
Eventhough my manners still need alot of improvement...
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be losers."
[Al-Bukhari]
* ~ "To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return" ~ *
"All things fear a person who fears Allah, while everything is a source of fear to him who fears somebody other than Allah."
1. Choose someone who has deen and character, yes, but someone who is not satisfied with where they are and ambitiously looks for means and methods to become better.
2. Someone in whose manners you see mercy rather than spite. If you were to know that a sister wastes her time and life refuting everyone and everything that walks, there's a good chance you'll find that attitude will transfer over when she deals with you and sees your weaknesses (and your wife will see your weaknesses).
3. She should be ambitious to want the best for the health and well being of the family. Someone who is content to formula feed for her own convenience, or allow herself to go (no fitness) after marriage, you don't want. If some sister is like, I don't do anything, I'm skinny and just eat junk, run away. She'll keep eating junk until she's 30 and lost that metabolism, and you'll be the one who pays the price
4. Make sure you're attracted to her - this isn't community service, so yes, look for deen and character, but if you're not attracted to her, don't feel guilty that you're turning down a religious sister.
The Description Of The Woman Who is Sought For Marriage
Source: A Concise Manual Of Marriage by Sheikh Uthaimeen (rahimahullaah) Page 17-19. Translator: Dawud Adib.
Marriage is intended for pleasure and enjoyment, the establishment of a righteous household and a safe, secure society….So with that, the woman who should be married is one whom the completion of these two goals are achieved by. She is the one described by Actual, Real Beauty and Abstract or Intangible Beauty.
ACTUAL BEAUTY
As for actual or real beauty, then this is the perfection of physical traits, because whenever the woman possesses pleasant outward features, sweet speech, and is a coolness to the eye when gazed upon, then the ears incline towards her expressions, the heart will open to her, the chest will expand for her, the soul will find solace in her and the meaning of the verse will be fulfilled in her, where the Most High said:
‘’And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.’’ 30:21
ABSTRACT BEAUTY
The abstract or intangible beauty is perfection of religion and character, for whenever the woman is exceptional in terms of religion and character, this is more beloved to the soul and a safer choice for the suitor.
Therefore, the woman who has religion, carries out the commandments of Allaah, preserves and protects the rights of her husband, his bed, children and property, assists him regarding obedience to Allaah, the Most High, if he forgets she reminds him, when he becomes sluggish, she invigorates him and when he becomes angry, she pleases him.
The refined woman is endearing towards her husband and respects him. She will not delay anything he desires to be expedited nor will she rush that which he wants her to postpone. The prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wa sallam) was asked, (which of the women are best)? He replied “ The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her and does not oppose him regarding herself or his wealth (and property) with what he dislikes”. COLLECTED BY IMAM AHMAD, 2 / 251.
He (sallal laahu alaihi wa sallam) also said Marry those who are loving and fertile in having children for indeed I will be multiplied (with followers) and be able to boast among the Prophets (or he said nations). COLLECTED BY IMAM ABU DAAWOOD IN THE ‘’BOOKOF MARRIAGE #2050.
So if he is able to marry a woman of whom inward and outward beauty is found, then this is true completion and happiness, success from Allaah.
Marriage sounds so simple when put like that.
It doesn't feel that way in reality. Not that I would know of course, but from people I know that have gotten married, it's like this whole big issue.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
,
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
We'll make you dizzy 
Bookmarks