Degrading the hijab?

**princessamber30** · 10-27-2005

Aslam walaikum

Well...Ive recently moved to a sixth form college from my high school (which was a girls only) and Im really upset and annoyed at what I see. There are many jilbabi's in my college who smoke, sit on guys laps, touch their faces, use REALLY foul language..and all the rest of the stuff... and the worst thing is they do it publicly. :'( Many of the other students are non-muslim, and the issue is that none of the Muslims say anything. There is so much free mixing etc, and many of the Muslim guys are the one's who provoke or 'flirt' with the hijabi's etc. I myself am a hijabi and I feel by participating in such behaviour not only are the sisters degrading the hijab, but they are not representing islam in the right manner. The main problem is that I can't say anything as many of them have 'attitudes' and I really don't want to get myself beaten up or anything..lol

So what can I do? I feel that because many hijab's and jilbabi's have adopted this kind of behaviour that people will not respect me for being a hijabi (as in treat me islamically) and that many of the males will think I'm just like the rest of them. I really don't know how I'm meant to approach these people, or how I'm meant to cope with this, because when I see what they do...AstagfurAllah but it really makes my blood boil!

Any advice?

JazakAllah

**ummAbdillah** · 10-27-2005

salaam sis
i kno how u fell

there a lot off muslim gurls hu act like dat
at my skool as well, and its ramadan as well
may allah s.w.t guide them
wasalaam

**Umm Yoosuf** · 10-27-2005

Assalaamu Alaikum sister

Allah guide whomever He wills to the right path.

How about you organise a talk in your sixform.

**Protected_Diamond** · 10-27-2005

i know exactly what you mean about muslims having attitudes especially those who aren't really islamic,they just muslims by name Allah s.w.a knows best. I guess if a brother does talk to you in that way just make them feel embarassed and say somthing like aren't you ashamed you're asking your sister in islam that kinda question...and so on...insha Allah he will get the message, and as for the sisters well nothing can be done unless you want to get into an argument which isn't really good. i mean im talking from experience if you warn the brothers n sisters abt the right path they throw it back in your face sis so just do what you think is best.

insha Alllah Allah s.w.a wil give u the courage and the strength ameen

**eyes_of_mine** · 10-27-2005

Thats totally shocking !
I would never of thuoght such things happen like that , even when I was at school we never acted like that then (million years ago), so to hear that hijab-jilbab wearing girls are acting like this is a shock.

I think you should organise a talk, thats if they will come to it, or tell the imaan of the local mosque in your area and get him to come and do a suprise suprise talk.
get some more girls who feel the same way, If I was there I would DEFIANTLY ask them what are they playing at.

**~*Sister*~** · 10-27-2005

Salaam Sister,

inshallah Allah Well guide them to the right path, And i pray for u to be alrite sis, Talk about islam sis preach about islam and one day they wel realise that they are doing wrong, Be careful. when i was at school life was different we didnt know nothing, and going out felt like a major crime and it is in islam.

Take care sis do ur best to ovoid, but speak to a imam or someone who can come to ur school and advice these sisters to practice islam.

any time u need to talk to me just hola at me

Allah ma'ak Salaam

**gladTidings** · 10-28-2005

This scene has become a popular one in many colleges, and yes it is quite sickening. I was in the same position as you, moving from an all girls high school to a mixed college; i was afraid my imaan would be effected by the influence around me. . . but Alhamdullilah it made me stronger. When i saw how low the muslims had reached, it made me want to strive more.

I felt i was amongst the very few practicing muslims in my college which made the transition quite difficult and I never considered preaching for various reasons.

By the end of the first year it became quite clear which muslims were worth knowing (coincidently the most intelligent students) and which werent. Still I came to know most of the muslims, i realised that preaching was not always needed because sometimes your own actions are recognised and considered by the people around you and sometimes this is all that is needed for others to wake up and realise what they are doing is wrong. I didnt waste too much time with these kind of people but left them in doubt of their own actions.

My advice to you is to concentrate on your own imaan and find ways to build a connection with Allah in everything that you do. Make your purpose of being at the college clear to yourself and to those around you (you are there simply to study). No one will hassle you.. and you'll find that muslims along with non-muslims will come to respect you, for your intentions and your actions as a sincere muslim. By correctly potraying the image of Islam inshAllah you will be participating in a form of dawa, earning respect and inspiring others.

**princessamber30** · 10-30-2005

JazakAllah for your replies, its really helped me!

May Allah fullfill all your wishes.

**h1jabi_sista** · 10-31-2005

sis!!!!! :smile:

u arite there? lol
subhanallah, its a very difficult issue to tackle. People dont like being told what to do, i would try to talk to some of them, let them know without making them feel 'lectured' or 'pressured'.

inshallah dont worry about your hijab too much. You set the good example and others will follow. These girls may degrade the hijab but allah is full of mercy and we have to pray that allah will guide them straight.

allah knows best
:sister:

**solid_snake** · 11-06-2005

you think they are bad, look at this:

*Warning*

------
:mad:

MODERATOR'S COMMENT: POSTING PORN ON THE FORUM IS ONE OF THE WORST VIOLATIONS POSSIBLE!

**azim** · 11-06-2005

Originally Posted by solid_snake

you think they are bad, look at this:

*Warning*
-LINK-

:mad:

Bro, I really really really think that isnt appropriate. A mod will remove it as soon as they see it, save them the trouble and remove it yourself.

**solid_snake** · 11-06-2005

Originally Posted by azim

Bro, I really really really think that isnt appropriate. A mod will remove it as soon as they see it, save them the trouble and remove it yourself.

so we just solve the problem by ignoring it,eh? brilliant idea

**Ansar Al-'Adl** · 11-06-2005

How on earth does it solve the problem if you spead their sinful material?! You shouldn't be looking at that filth in the first place and thinking that it will help by sharing it with others is sheer foolishness.

**F.Y.** · 11-06-2005

Sister
I understnad how you feel. When you talk to the girls, make sure your aklaaq are of the highest degree, and befriend them, send them islamic emails etc.
Maybe you could organise a talk? You do the talking of course - and i have always found it very uplifting when you have a revert speak about the choices they have made. Maybe you could invite somebody over to speak, inshallah the girls will have mroe knowledge at the end.
Remember to give sallam to them even if you dont know them and smile and just be ...nice. If they're talking about something and it reminds you of a story from the time of the propeht (saw), tell them, kindly.

**~*~Serene~*~** · 11-06-2005

Originally Posted by F.Y.

Maybe you could organise a talk? You do the talking of course - .

u can't be serious

oh: . why should she put herself at risk ?and stick her nose in so deep ?

**h1jabi_sista** · 11-06-2005

you kind of have a point. Ive known girls who have tried to help one another come to islam and have done nothing but cause damage to their iman. You have to be careful to protect your iman. Its a very tricky issue....i think the youth, both male and female, need to find islam spiritually. They're fasting, they're praying but they dont know why!! or what the significane of it is.

Inshallah we have to pray for them, we have to do dawah to them and inshallah be good examples for them, good role models of muslim men and women so that if they need help, they CAN rely on us inshallah.

allah hu alum

:sister:

**DaSangarTalib** · 11-06-2005

Tauba Tuauba!

**salehah** · 11-06-2005

Salaam everyone!

This is really sickening !!
i think the reason behind it could be the FORCING of hijab !!
many wear it either being forced from their society or their families!
I know poeple think, especially muslims, that it's their responsibility to raise their kids in such an such way...but they have to understand "forcing" will never help..
the prophets couldn't force their children into something how can we??
And Allah SWT never forced anyone to do anything WHY people do?
I don't understand!
Allah says...
"LA IKRAHA FIDDEEN"
means there's no compultion in the religion!
we should preach and show the right direction and leave it on th individual to decide which path to take..
in that way i think evrything will be in black and white..

that's how i think!
wasalaam

**Ansar Al-'Adl** · 11-07-2005

I would agree with Salehah in that many people may be forced to follow certain rulings (eg. hijab) before having the beauty and purpose of the practice explained to them so that they may appreciate it.

**F.Y.** · 11-07-2005

Originally Posted by Zulekha

u can't be serious

oh: . why should she put herself at risk ?and stick her nose in so deep ?

Put herself at risk of what exactly? Sometimes we have a responsibility towards one another.
But you are probably right - there may be a backlash of some sort. Yes, maybe you should try something else out princessamber, something less 'out there', that wouldn't 'stir the pot' so much.
I agree that the reason why this could happen is that the girls are wearing it just for the sake of it - without realising its value. Education, education, education....