35 ways u can tell that u r Asian!

[Eeman]

lolllllllllll!
i think the thread title should be changed to 35 ways you know your a pakistani.

NO OFFENCE!

 

[Eeman]

i must say no 24 makes me LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
wilmslow road typically paki!!!

 

[Faye]

We have lived in Pakistan for 15 years, but are only half Pakistani.

35 ways u can tell that u r Asian!

1. You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you
Only about 5
2. Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)
No, though my youngest sister screams
3. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness
Actually, we have more variety, Disprin, Calpol, Brufen and Paracetamol
4. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet
Don't have TV, but even if we had: no
5. Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex
No
6. You hire a convertible in mid-December
No. If we hire, we hire a van/bus. We are a 10 people family.
7. You secretly watch "ZEE TV." but pretend you've never heard of it
Don't have TV
8. At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus
No
9. You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it
No, we have a telephone at home, which is usually busy. And everybody has their mobile phones.
10. You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses...you ask who he is and find out it's your uncle
Yes. Sometimes you even find out its your own father
11. You dance at a complete stranger's wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)
The weddings we go to don't usually involve dancing
12. You somehow think you were involved in Tu Pac's death
I don't even know who he is.
13. You drive your car around the same spot for 10 years playing music that was out in '95
Probably around the same spot, but usually no music.
14. You achieve A*'s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
Not my parents, but my teachers do.
15. Your car is better than your house
No
16. Universities let you in for Medicine just by looking at you
No way. You need really good grades to get in for medicine
17. There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway
Yes for Basmati, no for Ghee.
18. You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
There is a pile of shoes, but it is in and around the shoe rack. The door opens just fine
19. Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.
No TV, but probably not. They are NOT the panic attack type.
20. A member of your family claims that they once used to live in the Taj Mahal
No
21. You have to offer guests tea even before they've stepped into your house
Its too hot for tea, but you do have to offer your guests drinks (after they enter)
22. You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin"
The normal address is 'older brother', or 'uncle' but no, we don't use it.
23. Girls: Your brother thinks he's your dad
No
24. Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a crappy restaurant on Wilmslow Road
Am not married.
25. You know how an Indian film will end even before it's started (but you still watch it)
No TV
26. You're related to your doctor
Yes, she's my Aunt
27. You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven't seen half of these people in your life)
Don't go to a lot of weddings, and no usually isn't room in the car for lifts.
28. At school, your parents were never aware of Parents' Evening (...and if they did attend Parents' Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)
They usually weren't, and no I told them the teacher had a grudge against me
29. You arrive late at every party
Yes, but I am still usually one of the first people there.
30. At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you're eating
Don't go
31. Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don't give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")
No TV, but they aren't stupid.
32. At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree
No
33. You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet
No
34. You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylat"
I have been told that I have an accent, but it is not specific to speaking with my parents.
35. You never go to the library "to work"
Aren't many good libraries around, internet is better.

 

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum,

LOL those are really funny!

Though they don't really fit me, although a few did, but the "You know you're Albanian/Turkish when..." are much more fitting for this Balkan girl.

Like these tell my life story:

-You always say "Open the light" insted of "Turn the light on".

-You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles to get to school.

-You can separate seeds from their shells, with your teeth, at a rate of 100 per minute.

-You can spot another Turk a mile off...and you find yourself saying to your mates "yeah they're Turkish" wherever you go even if the people you're pointing out aren't.

-Your relatives alone could populate a small city

-You fight over who pays the dinner bill

-You get very upset when airlines refuses to accept your luggage which is 80 kg overweight

-You are always taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go

- You talk with your guests at the door for 20-30 minutes when they are leaving

-You show your love and affection to people by physically hurting them
(esp. pinching, slapping, biting)

-Look around your house and you'll see "dantel" (little white designs) on top of various things. Mostly on TVs, dressers, and tables.

-After a certain age, old ladies in a mile radius will try to find a potential husband for you.

-You know you're Turkish when your mom never ever accepts the fact that you are not at all hungry.
​

-Your phone is always on silent

-You drink your tea from an hourglass-shaped glass… Without milk.

-You know at least one person who thinks yoghurt is the magical cure for every disease.

-You’ve spent a good deal of your life taking off your shoes as you walk into a house and putting on a pair of slippers.

-Your family would probably disown you if you became a vegetarian. No meat? What nonsense?

-You get offended by food labels in other countries labelling your own food ‘Greek feta’, ‘Greek yoghurt’ or ‘Greek humus’…

-You wouldn’t be able to talk if your hands were amputated.

​

 

[Ayesha Rana]

You had better be Asian.

lol hahaha!
Those points are hilarious

 

[Mysterious Uk]

3. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness-

So true,the moto in our house:

Have any health problems? well no need to fear; paracetamol to the rescue.

 

[Sahabiyaat]

u missed one


u secretly eat ding dongs, and then claim uve never heard of them



im eating a ding dong ryt now

 

[Al-Zaara]

3. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness-

So true,the moto in our house:

Have any health problems? well no need to fear; paracetamol to the rescue.

It's Aspirin in our house. ;D

 

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

Is it only asians that suitcases on top of the wardrobes?

 

[S_87]

1 and 3 is me. Though not quite 50 people go to the airport

and yes i take paracetamols for everything.

u missed one


u secretly eat ding dongs, and then claim uve never heard of them

oooh my a friend introduced me to ding dongs and i love them! shame they dont sell in the UK

 

[fatima_01]

28 is the bestttttt hahaa

 

[Eeman]

I love this post and find it hilarious but unfortunately there are not many things that i as a persian can relate to... so im going to do one on behalf of the persians,

ways you know that you are persian.

1: when your parents or the elders try to speak english and stretch their words so much that it sounds like they're singing a nursery rhyme in a retarded way.

2:your house phone is forever engaged cos your mother or sister is always on the phone gossiping.

3: when you have at least 3 female members in your immediate family with dyed peroxide blonde hair.

4: there is at least one evil eye bracelet that you own.

5: when your invited to a gathering, everyone has made sure that they have put on all the labels that they have in their wardbrobes from head to toe no matter how old and tatty those gucci shoes of theirs are.

6: if your child is in uni studying a degree in pyschology, you tell people that they are doing a phd.

7: a member of your family claims that your related to the late shah (king)

8: Your mum or aunt or a member of your family have semi permanent make up tatoos.

9: when asked about your ethnic background, you claim to be arabic.

10: someone that you know a family friend or relative claims they have seen jesus in a dream and has converted into christianity.

11: the only time you listen to the Qur'an is in funerals.

12: half the population of your male relatives or family friends are called Reza.

 

[Faye]

-You always say "Open the light" insted of "Turn the light on".

-You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles to get to school.

- You talk with your guests at the door for 20-30 minutes when they are leaving

-You show your love and affection to people by physically hurting them
(esp. pinching, slapping, biting)

-After a certain age, old ladies in a mile radius will try to find a potential husband for you.​

All of these apply to Pakistanis as well, except its your grandfather who tells the story of walking miles to school.

 

[Al-Zaara]

All of these apply to Pakistanis as well, except its your grandfather who tells the story of walking miles to school.

Haha. Here are some more that fit to my kind:

- You don't use measuring cups when cooking

- Your mom never throws away left-overs, she gives them to your dad at night or the next day

- You always try moving out of home but always end up returning

- Your mother can make yogurt from nothing

- Grape leaves make a great dinner

- You put salt in your food before you taste it (my Mum does this all the time!)
​

 

[Nawal89]

^I do that too. Always throw in the salt first then taste. If its too salty u just add in more of whatever else

 

[Al-Zaara]

^ LOL I can't stand it, I'm quite picky when it comes to such. :blind:

 

[cute123]

simply funny and mostly go with all of us in the family

 

[DaNgErOuS MiNdS]

Haha. Here are some more that fit to my kind:

- You don't use measuring cups when cooking

- Your mom never throws away left-overs, she gives them to your dad at night or the next day



- Your mother can make yogurt from nothing


- You put salt in your food before you taste it (my Mum does this all the time!)
​

lol I thought that was only with my fam.

heres a few more:

• You dont throw away containers once they've emptied
• You eat food soon as the guests have left
• your always told about how successful other cousins your age are
• Your parents worry too much about what other people are going to think
• your relatives ask you the same questions every time they see you i.e. what are you studying, where are you working
• Your given loads of money for eid by relatives but have to give most of it back to parents so they can give it to their children

 

[Al-Zaara]

You eat food soon as the guests have left

Haha, very true with my family aswell! I simply forget to eat altogether when guests are there. We stuff them with food and lovingly watch them eat. ;D If they don't wanna eat, we burst out in tears. ;D

 

[qassy!]

3. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness-

So true,the moto in our house:

Have any health problems? well no need to fear; paracetamol to the rescue.

its paracetamol in our house....but in my room i keep Nurofen