A Brother Harrased me Sexually several times

[AnonymousPoster]

^Why are you all getting so paranoid? I didn't allow him anything, and why must I run when I am in a public place?...

No need to accuse.

I know you get the impression that she was making assumptions, but she's not like that, she only wants the best, it was simply a tip! And You took it the wrong way,

I hope Yr feeling better now.

Anon309

 

[The Ruler]

???..I don't know wat your implying there?

I was saying that what the baka was reffering to by saying "make me safe" is the sex.

baka = idiot (sounds much cooler when said in a cool language

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I was saying that what the baka was reffering to by saying "make me safe" is the sex.

baka = idiot (sounds much cooler when said in a cool language

I don't think that's wat he meant. Allahu Allam. There was never any sex, so pls don't insult me.

Fear Allah how you speak to me, I am not a robbot I have feelings.

 

[youngsister]

dEAR Sis this guy is not mentally normal what a weirdo.

I am worried for you guys like him can turn into stalkers just tell him to stay away and call the police if necessary dont lead him on (i am not saying you are) just stay away from him he needs to get the message.

stay safe sis

 

[The Ruler]

I don't think that's wat he meant. Allahu Allam. There was never any sex, so pls don't insult me.

I'm not insulting you. If anything, I'm insulting the baka. I'm only saying that your efforts don't seem to bear much fruit. Perhaps you don't try hard enough.

I'm not saying that there was any sex. My guess is that he wants the sex and, aapparently according to him, anything without sex is fine outside marriage. He wants to do the ultimate thing with you i.e. sex, and he wants you to make it halaal for him by marrying him. Cheh.

I am not a robbot I have feelings.

Hmm-mmh.

 

[Banu_Hashim]

What a baka...

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

Praise be to Allaah.

​

One of the essential aims of sharee’ah is to protect people’s lineage and honour. For this reason, Allaah has forbidden zinaa and ordered that it be punished by whipping or stoning. And He has forbidden the means that may lead to zinaa, such as a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, sinful looks, and women travelling without a mahram or going out of their homes wearing perfume and make-up, clothed yet naked, seeking thus to attract young men and provoke their desires and tempt them away from their religious commitment. This also includes a man speaking to a woman in a deceitful manner, and her speaking to him in a soft voice so as to tempt him and provoke his desire, so that he will fall in her trap – whether this is done in person, over the phone, via correspondence or in some other manner. For this reason, Allaah forbade the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), even though they were good and pure, to make a display of themselves in the manner of the first Jaahiliyyah, or to speak in soft voices so as to provoke the desire of those in whose hearts was a disease; and He commanded them to speak in a manner that was honourable. Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allâh), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.


And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…” [al-Ahzaab 33:31-32]
​

So Muslim youths must fear Allaah, protect their chastity and lower their gaze. They should refrain from speaking or writing any obscene words of immoral romance or deceit. Muslim girls are obliged to do likewise, to remain chaste and not to go out wearing make-up, clothed yet naked.

It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim in al-Saheeh).
​

If young men and women obey Allaah and His Messenger, and rise above worldly matters, keeping away from fitnah and sources of suspicion, that will be better for them, purer for their hearts and better for their reputations and their societies. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Source

----------


​

The conditions for speaking to a woman to whom one is not related are mentioned in the following aayaat (interpretation of the meaning):

". . . And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts . . ." [al-Ahzaab 33:53]

". . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:32]
​

Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Tafseer: "This means that they should not speak softly. Allaah commanded them to speak in a concise and decisive manner (i.e., they should be serious and brief in their speech, and not be vague or talk aimlessly). There should be no possible indication on the face that could be taken to indicate any softness in the heart, as the Arab women (before Islaam) used to do when speaking to men, by making their voices soft like women who are taking care of small children, or like prostitutes. Allaah forbade women to do that.

The phrase "lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" means lest such a person should hope for immoral deeds, indecency or romance. "Speaking in an honourable manner" means speaking in a way that does not go against Sharee’ah or offend people. Women are encouraged when speaking to men to whom they are not related and to mahrams among their in-laws to be somewhat rough or abrupt in their speech, without raising the voice, because they are commanded to lower their voice.

Speaking with a woman to whom one is not related (i.e., not mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should be brief, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said.

The idea of limiting speech with women to the five instances mentioned in the question needs to be approached with caution, because they could be taken as examples instead of limits. One must also adhere to the conditions set out by the Sharee’ah even in instances where such conversations are necessary, such as in da’wah, giving fatwas, buying or selling, etc. And Allaah knows best.

Source


May Allah (SWT) protect Muslim sisters everywhere from the fitnah of society. Ameen Thuma Ameen.

 

[Yanal]

Sister hope your problems get solved Ameen.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

subhanallah sis, sorry to hear this.
do you have brothers :? get them onto him.lol...men fear men, seriously.
dont do this alone...he needs to be taught a lesson. i dont mean bash up the guy or anything, but just a stare from will scare him off...

btw, do you wear a hijab

 

[Zahida]

Honey where you are being treated like this it does cause paranoia.........
It seems that this guy is after you and you are allowing him to pursue you.........come on you bump into him in another city?????????? and you manage to have a conversation with him, that implies that you wanted to, if you had been strong and not wanted to you could have walked away and simply said you do not wish to have a conversation with him...............

It all just sounds strange that you are having conversations with him and then posting a thread and saying he has sexually assaulted you. More than once, and little one you have allowed it to happen. You have obviously been alone with him when he has assaulted you. Or was it out in the open and others just stood and watched.

We are not having ago at you, simply responding to what you have told us. Do not be offended instead take time to think about what has happened evaluate it and keep away from him. Do you deserve that he can have a grope when he feels like it ??????? NO. As a woman you deserve respect, and you must respect yourself...............

Sorry for being harsh but read your posts again and think wisely about what you have said. If you are not open to criticism/advice as your brothers and sisters here have tried to give you then you should not have posted this thread............

:blind:

^Why are you all getting so paranoid? I didn't allow him anything, and why must I run when I am in a public place?...

No need to accuse.

 

[- Qatada -]

asalam alaikum


hate him and ignore him, stay away from him all the time and if he ever tries to get your attention - go to your family, or with someone who he never wants to see his likes i.e. your dad or something.


He isn't worth it because this is just a game for him, if hes a player - then he's doing all this for the chase, and later on - he isn't going to be committed to you, he's going to hurt you.

these people are like small kids who only want something because they can't get it, but when they get it - they want another toy. the whole joy just being behind the chase. this is what strangers like these find attractive about women who don't give themselves up freely, because they've used up all the ones which gave themselves up - but they hurt them and went for someone else.. now they want you, just to hurt you. Not to have a longtime relationship.

the promises are false, promises which they used on earlier girls, but these girls never got what was promised to them, because they lost the guy they dreamed of. Instead of this guy being their hero, he hurt them and was harsh towards them - so he could leave them, causing them heart-break and sadness, without any support from him - something which he had promised all the time... but never kept.


Read this for more info on what the player is really like;
http://www.islamicboard.com/health-...ur-friend-gets-heart-broken-2.html#post609812

 

[Argamemnon]

I'm sorry to say that I find this a little suspicious. If someone harrassed me even once, I wouldn't allow him to do it again. You should tell someone in my opinion.

 

[~Taalibah~]

:s:
If you really do not want to encourage him and dont want him near you keep far away from him, go in the opposite direction you see him asap. You must run because he isnt, and you are the one thats going to suffer in the end.
Futher, you should tell your brothers (if you have) your father, or even let male cousins/friends know. If you do your duty in keeping away, he should get a thorough beating by them.

 

[Hamas]

Assalamu Alaikum

The way i look at it sister yeah is if you really wanted to you couldve stayed away from him very easily maybe you didnt ask for his number and he did get it from someone at your school but you did talk to him didnt you? and for him to assault you in any way you would have to meet him right? you say it happened quite a few times why didnt you learn from the first incident? im not being judgmental or insulting you becuase im no prize either im simply stating the facts.

If you want to stay away from him then it should be a doodle if you want to become a stronger muslima so that you could fight such temptations then work for it its not rocket science its all about what you want and the choices you make.

Assalmu Alaikum

 

[Niyya Safya]

Asalamu Alaikum wa Rahmat Allah

I read through the first page and a few replies in between so I don’t know all the advice that was given. I did see a lot of misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions...

I do not want to say how, but I do understand your situation. Well, I just wanted to give you something extra to what everyone has said because you mentioned that weakness (if you will) of his appearance. Think of it this way: he is hideous, ugly beyond your imagination on the inside. He thinks you are cheap & is using you, dishonoring you, belittling you to satisfy him. If he wanted to marry you, he would have asked for you already and my guess is that he likes the idea of getting something from a girl without being tied to the idea that he has to get married. In other words, it’s all pleasure for him without obligation/consequence (from both families) to him. If you ask me, he should have gotten married a looong time ago. Leave no room for sympathy/compassion/mercy/whatever kindness towards him.

Take extra precautions to never be in a place/situation where you would be subjected to that again. Stay near your parents or your brothers, go to the masjid for sallaa or for a women’s program if they have one at your local masjid... whatever. Forcefully kissing you won’t be enough for long and you have to keep that in mind. I don’t mean to patronize you – I’m sure you know this – but there are many things we know, but few things we realize. I don’t know how you dress, but take a second look in the mirror always. Finally, read ayat ulkursi & almu3awethat (i.e. surat annas, falaq…) – frequently; those are what are usually recited for protection. Leave no room for regret on your side. And make dua’a for yourself and him (not the kind where you say “O Allah, take his life" or “O Allah, **** him,” but something along the lines of “O Allah, guide him,” because people can change, just don’t let yourself take a second a look at him thinking ‘he has good in him’ or ‘maybe he’ll change’ or ‘maybe…’ – No.)

This is what I would tell my blood sister. I hope it helps you.

Peace.

 

[youngsister]

118 replies... does this topic need to go on..

 

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum Sis,
I have been reading all of the posts here and there is some excellent advise being offered. Looks like its been a while since you saw him, but with a guy like this he doesn't respect women at all and certainly only see's you as an object of his lust. Sis, seems like he isnt harrasing you like before thats good, but from your last encounter seems like he is still after you and lusting over you. Don't beleive his stupid lies, he isn't going to just change, this is his personality and he doesn't seem to want to change. He will tell you anything to get you, but he is no better than a piece of dirt. You deserve a good muslim man who follows Islams teachings and this guy is not that guy.
Looks mabye attact initially but without a good character those looks don't even matter, he is ugly and disgusting inside.
Even if you guys got married, chances are that he wouldn't respect you and treat you well. Once he has you the challenge is over, and he would move on to another challenge.
Please Sis, take all the advise given here as very well meaning, and we all don't want to see our sister being abused in any way.
Take Care and inshaAllah you will be guided in what is best to do.

 

[Al-Zaara]

A few months ago When I started this thread, I have taken all of ur advices into consideration and have stopped answering any private calls on my mob.

I bumped into him yesterday in another city! He called it "fate" bringing us together. I walked away he kept following me asking me to allow him to ask for my hand and that he would never marry if It isn't with me...?

That he changed, he kept apologizing for the things he did to me and asked me to safe him by marrying him. I didn't get that.

Some things will never change, I guess.

So what do you want? Do you want us to analyze the last bit of what he said? Do say if this thread is a place where you vent your frustration out and not wanting any advice, but I'd suggest an even better place for that, namely to call a cop or psychiatrist, who'd give professional help, which I believe you might need if you start bumping him more than once from now on.

InshaAllah you'll get this situation out of your system all and for once and this guy won't ever bother you again.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Asalam alaikum Sis,
I have been reading all of the posts here and there is some excellent advise being offered. Looks like its been a while since you saw him, but with a guy like this he doesn't respect women at all and certainly only see's you as an object of his lust. Sis, seems like he isnt harrasing you like before thats good, but from your last encounter seems like he is still after you and lusting over you. Don't beleive his stupid lies, he isn't going to just change, this is his personality and he doesn't seem to want to change. He will tell you anything to get you, but he is no better than a piece of dirt. You deserve a good muslim man who follows Islams teachings and this guy is not that guy.
Looks mabye attact initially but without a good character those looks don't even matter, he is ugly and disgusting inside.
Even if you guys got married, chances are that he wouldn't respect you and treat you well. Once he has you the challenge is over, and he would move on to another challenge.
Please Sis, take all the advise given here as very well meaning, and we all don't want to see our sister being abused in any way.
Take Care and inshaAllah you will be guided in what is best to do.

jasakAllahkhyr for the reply it meant a lot. I really don't have any trouble avoiding him at all. I have also no problem seeing the facts, I know that he's not good for me. I don't want anything to do with him. He has trouble getting it. I told my brother tonight, he's now on my case demanding I tell him who it is. My brothers are very protective of me. I love them to death, but they are known to show no mercy for such things. I know that I won't be going out anymore alone. My family trust me, I don't want them to watch every step I make. I know it's in my interest but I know that things wont be the same. Before this happened I could do anything, they would trust me. Now i'm very certain that my father will get over-protective, my entire family. My brother will probably tell everyone tomorrow. Including my mother.

I don't want to be any victim nor do I need any pity!! I wasn't raped u know.

Some people here are so brutal and mean they don't even realize it. Saying that I encourage him, pls give me a break. I came here to seek for advice not to be insulted.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

So what do you want? Do you want us to analyze the last bit of what he said? Do say if this thread is a place where you vent your frustration out and not wanting any advice, but I'd suggest an even better place for that, namely to call a cop or psychiatrist, who'd give professional help, which I believe you might need if you start bumping him more than once from now on.

InshaAllah you'll get this situation out of your system all and for once and this guy won't ever bother you again.

thanks inshaAllah...well words out now..

Sis wat made you think I need professional help? Whats that got anything to do with bumping into him?