A lil help regarding rights in marriage.

[Rasema]

In that hadith it says nothing about the man giving away his property to them. :skeleton:

She is giving her house to one of her children. She will be rewarded for that. Insha'Allah.

:wa:

I didn't interpreat the hadith nor do I think you should. The hadeeth is simply related in some way to what I encouraged her to do.

Oh, and sorry.

 

[abdullah_001]

648. Abu Hurayra reported that a man said, "Messenger of Allah, I have some relatives with whom I maintain connections but who cut me off. I am good to them but they are bad to me. I am forbearing with them but they are hasty towards me!" He said, "If it is as you said, it is as if you were feeding them hot ash and you will continue to have a helper from Allah Almighty against them for as long as you act like that." [Muslim]

I just hope that if your future husband does something wrong to someone else or you for that matter, you will not agree him. That would mean that you are as guilty as he his. And there is no reward for such wrong actions.

WOW, You make me look so blind that I would disobey Allah's commands for a husband. I confronted people I'm afraid of to obey Allah,excuse me.


Albanian Muslim, learn to love and hate in the name of Allah.Oh,and you are encouraged to not even go to the mesjid.But you are permitted.

I'm talking about doing it in the name of Allah, give the house in the name of Allah. It would benefit her in this life and the hereafter.

Do you know that some people pray to be poor.

Her husband's family already has a house to live in. The husband's mom asked for the house so she could give it to the husband's little brother who doesn't work at all. It is not as though it is a dire necessity for the Husband's Mum's family to move into that house. Even if it was a dire necessity then it would be the responsibility of the husband to provide for them not the responsibility of his wife.

I understand what you're saying, sister, but you must understand according to Islamic jurisprudence the wife is under no obligation to do so. Hence, if she doesn't you can't blame anything on her because she hasn't stepped beyond the bounds of Islam.

And if we did concede to your point that the wife should give her property to her mother-in-law to protect the integrity of the family then that would imply nothing that the wife earns is actually hers. Today, it's a house, tomorrow it'll be something else, who is to say the family won't demand something else tomorrow? And if the family keeps demanding should the wife keep conceding?

And doesn't Allah (swT) say int he Qur'an, "O You who believe! Be upholders of justice, bearing witness for God alone, even against yourselves or your parents and relatives. Whether they are rich or poor, God is well able to look after them. Do not follow your own desires and deviate from the truth. If you twist or turn away, God is aware of what you do." (4:135)

 

[Snowflake]

Sis Rasema, I know you mean well, but the mother-in-law isn't sitting on the street homeless. If she were, it'd be a different matter. The reason Allah has given women rights is to prevent such abuse and misuse of what is theirs in the first place. The sister is merely using her rights stated by Allah and there is no logical reason to give the house to the mother in law.

Tomorrow, the uncles children can demand Mrs B's children give them their house. Where does it stop sis? Greed fuels greed. No one was more conscious of Allah than our beloved Prophet (saw) yet when he was approached by a begger, the Prophet didn't give him anything but advised him to sell what he had to buy an axe and chop wood for a living.

If someone is doing wrong, you simply do not 'help them in the name of Allah'. Where is the benefit in that sis? It is far better for their deen, dunya and hereafter if you make them realise the error of their ways. This is how the mother-in-law in the O.P's post needs to be helped - not by pleasing her by giving in to whatever she wants.

 

[Rasema]

Sis Rasema, I know you mean well, but the mother-in-law isn't sitting on the street homeless. If she were, it'd be a different matter. The reason Allah has given women rights is to prevent such abuse and misuse of what is theirs in the first place. The sister is merely using her rights stated by Allah and there is no logical reason to give the house to the mother in law.

Tomorrow, the uncles children can demand Mrs B's children give them their house. Where does it stop sis? Greed fuels greed. No one was more conscious of Allah than our beloved Prophet (saw) yet when he was approached by a begger, the Prophet didn't give him anything but advised him to sell what he had to buy an axe and chop wood for a living.

If someone is doing wrong, you simply do not 'help them in the name of Allah'. Where is the benefit in that sis? It is far better for their deen, dunya and hereafter if you make them realise the error of their ways. This is how the mother-in-law in the O.P's post needs to be helped - not by pleasing her by giving in to whatever she wants.

You are right in that matter. I still think that that after she tells her husband and her inlaws get to know, boy they will hate eachother forever.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Hate in the name of Allah?
wow. thats a first.

 

[Rasema]

Hate in the name of Allah?
wow. thats a first.

Well, hate is not the best word, but I suggest you start a thread and InshAllah, other more knowledgeable and open minded Muslims will help you understand.

But what I can tell you is that we hate the forbidden or kufr others do, but we don't actually hate the human,just their kufr. If you don't hate their kufr than you wouldn't mind doing the same thing.

Allah knows best

 

[Snowflake]

You are right in that matter. I still think that that after she tells her husband and her inlaws get to know, boy they will hate eachother forever.

They might, they might not. InshaAllah we should make dua for those who are less fortunate in not understanding the deen. May Allah increase them (and us) and guide them to follow the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Ameen.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Ok see, that was a nicer way of putting things Raseema

i was not trying to attack you only pointing out that your responses seemed a bit harsh. You can still hate bad deeds without being harsh.....my grandma would always remind me "you can get further with honey than vinegar"

 

[Rasema]

Ok see, that was a nicer way of putting things Raseema

i was not trying to attack you only pointing out that your responses seemed a bit harsh. You can still hate bad deeds without being harsh.....my grandma would always remind me "you can get further with honey than vinegar"

I don't mean to get of topic,sorry.

Your grandma is wrong in some cases. When it comes to men you must be harsh or you'll fall easily.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

My grandmother was not wrong.
My fathter, 20 years ago, was one of the angriest, toughest, roughest men out there...and my mother was sweet and kind to him...after a few years of marriage he slowly but surely began to be a kinder gentler husband.
Men are not beasts sis, they deserve kindness too.


You sis, have a lot to learn, you sound like i did when i was 15. Im sorry but you really have a stubborn mindset. I give up trying to talk with you, May Allah swt guide you and make you understand things better and understand that the harsh way is not always the right way.

 

[Rasema]

My grandmother was not wrong.
My fathter, 20 years ago, was one of the angriest, toughest, roughest men out there...and my mother was sweet and kind to him...after a few years of marriage he slowly but surely began to be a kinder gentler husband.
Men are not beasts sis, they deserve kindness too.


You sis, have a lot to learn, you sound like i did when i was 15. Im sorry but you really have a stubborn mindset. I give up trying to talk with you, May Allah swt guide you and make you understand things better and understand that the harsh way is not always the right way.

Noooo

I was talking about men that hit on you:embarrass

To avoid flirt,conversation(usless one)...

 

[zanjabeela]

Noooo

I was talking about men that hit on you:embarrass

To avoid flirt,conversation(usless one)...

Sis, nobody here was hitting on you :><: and your harshness was for the female who is being oppressed.

Allah does not like Muslims to oppress one another, and I'm surprised that anyone would advocate a woman to willingly and happily give in to oppression. Islam also teaches women that we do not obey our husbands when they ask us to do something unIslamic. This man, and his family, want to take her property which is her security in this world. Allah provided her with wealth enough to secure herself...not so that she may turn around and give up what is legally, Islamically, hers.

What if, one day this woman is divorced. Does this man's family sound like the type who would give her back her property? Does Islam even advocate for us to take gifts back (although in this case, it really sounds more like extortion than gift-giving)? So, imagine this woman has no roof over her head...maybe, you never know, but maybe she might end up hating Islam for someone telling her to give up her rights, because look, now she is in an even worse situation and nobody tried to help her.

When we give advice, we have to look long-term at the possible ill effects. Yes, Allah would surely reward her for giving up her right...but He certainly won't punish her for holding on to them, would He? He might even give her more reward for standing up to oppression! You never know. Let's not create more problems than this poor woman already has!

Even though I really do not see the Islamic basis for your advice, I love you for the sake of Allah.

:wa:

 

[Najm]

Sis Rasema, I know you mean well, but the mother-in-law isn't sitting on the street homeless. If she were, it'd be a different matter. The reason Allah has given women rights is to prevent such abuse and misuse of what is theirs in the first place. The sister is merely using her rights stated by Allah and there is no logical reason to give the house to the mother in law.

Tomorrow, the uncles children can demand Mrs B's children give them their house. Where does it stop sis? Greed fuels greed. No one was more conscious of Allah than our beloved Prophet (saw) yet when he was approached by a begger, the Prophet didn't give him anything but advised him to sell what he had to buy an axe and chop wood for a living.

If someone is doing wrong, you simply do not 'help them in the name of Allah'. Where is the benefit in that sis? It is far better for their deen, dunya and hereafter if you make them realise the error of their ways. This is how the mother-in-law in the O.P's post needs to be helped - not by pleasing her by giving in to whatever she wants.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Such a blessed post! MashaAllah, MashaAllah, MashaAllah!!!!

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[S_87]

I'd keep the house on her name but give it to the inlaws. If some problems arrise that way she'll be able to keep her house. For now, it depens on how old the kids are, they can live normally with a mother and a father.In the future they can get it back if she keeps it on her name.

She doesn't have a choice, does she?

What is the situation of her inlaws?
Maybe they don't have a suitable place.

shes given her house its NOT HERS she CANT take it back...we arent talking about in laws living with her because they cant afford a house. were talking about them TAKING her house.

 

[Intisar]

But HER is a Muslim. She can't do whatever she wants with it but she should do what's the best,especially during Ramadhan. It would prevent disputes with her husband and family.

Did you even bother reading Umm ul shaheed's post?