A potential that is around 25 years older ?

[owl123]

Assalamu alaikum all,

So there is a man that is interested in marrying me but he is 45-50 and I am 24. And the problem is that I actually like him. If I married him, would that be a mistake on my part? Would I be a widow at too young an age or forced to support my children on my own?

 

[ardianto]

Wa'alaikumsalam

My step-grandmother was around 50 when my grandfather passed away in his mid 70's age. Not too young to being a widow. My female relatives became a widow in late of 20's age after her husband, who was in her age, passed away. She was too young to become a widow, and her husband was too young to die.

Young sister, there's no guarantee that a woman will not become a widow in young age if she marries a man in her age. How long someone will live in dunya is the secret of Allah.

I can understand if you feel comfortable with a mature man like your potential. I myself a 46 years old widower. It's okay to marry him if you sure that he is the right man for you. However, there are things you should notice. When a man enter his 40's age, his physical condition is going weaker, and his 'performance as a male' is not as good as young male. Then when you enter your 40's age, your husband will in his mid of 60's age. You should ready to take care an old man.

But like I've said, if you feel comfortable with him and you sure he is the right man for you, it's okay to marry him. May Allah bless your married life.

 

[Abz2000]

Assalamu'alaikum sis, Allah destined that the Prophet pbuh show us examples marrying both extremes of age for a reason so that we don't create false taboos in the lawful. One can also consider that someone who dies early might leave you with blessed memories of happiness - however short the time Allah destines for you, and another can give you a long lifetime of grief. So do that which is pleasing to Allah and pleasing to you - never neglecting the former, and inshaAllah, He will bless you in this wprld and the hereafter, or at least make any hardship a blessing for the hereafter. 1. Does he fear Allah? 2. Does he seem pleasing? 3. Does he gots loadsa moneyz? If so, better still! If u not after his goods

 

[owl123]

Assalamu'alaikum sis, Allah destined that the Prophet pbuh show us examples marrying both extremes of age for a reason so that we don't create false taboos in the lawful. One can also consider that someone who dies early might leave you with blessed memories of happiness - however short the time Allah destines for you, and another can give you a long lifetime of grief. So do that which is pleasing to Allah and pleasing to you - never neglecting the former, and inshaAllah, He will bless you in this wprld and the hereafter, or at least make any hardship a blessing for the hereafter. 1. Does he fear Allah? 2. Does he seem pleasing? 3. Does he gots loadsa moneyz? If so, better still! If u not after his goods

Wa'alaikumussalam brother

To answer your questions,

1. He does pray all five prayers mostly at the masjid, but at the same time, I was kind of thrown back by some of his behavior i.e. not approaching my father or brother right away, texting me beyond necessity, asking if I can visit his work, and always asking for pictures of myself. He saw me at his restaurant and my friend that was with me sort of got in the middle. Shortly thereafter,mom told me to ask him to visit our house so that my brother and the rest of my family can see him and decide, but he seemed a bit hesitant or afraid of getting into a fight with my dad or brother.
2. I guess he seems alright. I guess outwardly, he is attractive. He does play a lot of mind games so I am not sure.
3. Definitely not loads of money. He just co-owns a restaurant. Probably average or even a bit under-average. I mean he doesn't even have his own house. He lives with his cousin's family and he sends money overseas.

 

[owl123]

Wa'alaikumsalam

My step-grandmother was around 50 when my grandfather passed away in his mid 70's age. Not too young to being a widow. My female relatives became a widow in late of 20's age after her husband, who was in her age, passed away. She was too young to become a widow, and her husband was too young to die.

Young sister, there's no guarantee that a woman will not become a widow in young age if she marries a man in her age. How long someone will live in dunya is the secret of Allah.

I can understand if you feel comfortable with a mature man like your potential. I myself a 46 years old widower. It's okay to marry him if you sure that he is the right man for you. However, there are things you should notice. When a man enter his 40's age, his physical condition is going weaker, and his 'performance as a male' is not as good as young male. Then when you enter your 40's age, your husband will in his mid of 60's age. You should ready to take care an old man.

But like I've said, if you feel comfortable with him and you sure he is the right man for you, it's okay to marry him. May Allah bless your married life.

Assalamu 'alaikum,

Thank you for the du'a brother. That's what I was thinking too. No one is sure when they are destined to die. I don't understand what you mean by 'performance as a male', though.