A secret that could ruin my life

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Sari

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Somebody knows a secret about me, something that is now in the past and i want to forget and move on from. But i'm so scared it will come out in the near future or distant future and ruin my life, effectively leaving me to worry all my life.

I have prayed to Allah to forgive me and protect the secret for me and hide it from the world. But i don't know if i am okay to do that.. The person has agreed to keep it secret for me, but how much can i trust one person, especially as people change through life.
 
Would it be best if you brought this secret out into the open yourself?
Even if you have asked Allah for forgiveness, is there another person who you may have to ask forgiveness of?

Some things we cannot truly leave behind until we have brought them out in the open and dealt with them.
Otherwise you may spend your whole life with your fear and guilt haunting you ...

Just my personal thoughts.
I wish you well. :)
 
If you've kept other peoples secrets secret, then Allah will keeps yours secret, so don't worry if you've sincerely repented then those things will be of the past InshAllah
 
There will be a level of faith that you may achieve one day where such a secret will be nothing to you. A person is judged by what they aspire for, not the mistakes they have done, and if it reduces some superficial people's opinions of you, then so be it. I always say "what people think of me is none of my business."

You already got that person's commitment to keep the secret. So you just keep the secret yourself, and live based on that you did what you should and could, so let what may be happen, rest is in God's hands. For your psychological sanity find comfort in the worst possible scenario and then the whole issue will not affect you, and let it slide out of your attention.

There are no secrets from Allah, so he already knows, and there is nobody else that truly matters.
 
My dear, what is done is done. This person knows whatever it is, and has promised to keep your secret. There is nothing more you can do. Worrying about it and being anxious will get you no where, all it will do will make you feel horrible.

Rely on Allah and have tawwakul, there is nothing else you can do. Hope for the best, and have husn al dhann in the person, that they will not betray your confidence.
 
I know it's usually best to bring things out in the open so you can truly move on, but i really can't bring this out in the open, it will definitely without a doubt ruin my life forever. Absolutely no doubt about that, i'm not being over dramatic, in fact i try not to think about how bad it would really be as i can't deal with the thought.

That's the thing that worries me, carrying a secret for life will haunt me, how will i cope with that. Time will help, but time will also change the person that is promising to keep my secret. What if the person holds less value of our friendship and promise later in life, what if the person changes in their values/morals/thoughts, what if seeing me, or not seeing me for a long time and drifting apart makes the person not care or get angry or feel something enough to want to tell people.

Is there anything i can pray/do to help in this situation, apart from making dua ofcourse. And any advice on the dua itself, is what i have asked for, to hide it from the world okay? I did read recently somewhere that Allah wants you to hide your sins/mistakes from the world, so i thought it would actually be good to ask Allah to hide from the world, rather than bad which is what i would've have thought before.
 
lol

i lied once and i was scared the person would find out....

well it has to be some sin.... there is only one thing u can do.

good deeds. to make up for it.

personally i dont think secrets exist these days. most peoples religion is pretty lame.
REPENT for your mistake,.. and that means repenting for trusting someone u obviously dont trust with a secret... lol
...we are weak as humans... we need people. we get lonely. we divulge info on occasion cos we think it will bring people closer to us...

i think you secret is out.

and if its a big secret, people may know... but they may never tell you. so strive towards allah in all of the ways you know how....

pray to allah... remember... evil touches man not from allah but from the bad deeds their own hands have sent forth......

pray. repent. be grateful. think about death. read quran.

i know its not an optimistic reply.... but i was in a scared situation once too. beware who u trust completely, especially with personal matters. .... dont make mistakes of the tongue. or of social behaviour.....
 
:sl:

If that secret is so hideous then it means that you must have done something which you shouldn't have been doing and so the best that can be done is to repent with all sincerity. Inshallah, your repentance will be accepted and that secret will be guarded by Allah for your good and even if at some point in your life if it gets disclosed Allah won't let the consequences be too hard for you. All of us fail at times and the only way to right that wrong is turn towards the Most Gracious, Ar-Rahman and seek his protection.

May Allah guard your secret and forgive all of us.
 
:sl: I agree with all of the above posts. If you sincerely repent and ask Allah for His forgiveness and make dua for Allah to guide you......... InshaAllah all will be well.................at the moment your own insecurities are making you feel this way...................... First forgive yourself, by not repeating what it is you have as a secret and gaining confidence that you have learnt from it and asked Allah for His forgiveness.................

I would not trust anybody though you are right people do change and your friend may change also all you can do is deal with the situation as it arises................ Good luck.:w::bump1:
 
Sari said:
That's the thing that worries me, carrying a secret for life will haunt me, how will i cope with that.
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I think every human being is carrying that burden for life with one secret or another. But after sincerely repenting and asking Allah's forgiveness we must place our trust in Him to not let us be dishonoured in the dunya and here-after. If there is lack of trust, there will be increase in fear of that secret being disclosed. Allah says to His servants, that He is as his servant thinks Him to be. Believe without a shred of doubt, in fact believe nothing but that by Allah's Mercy, that person will never disclose your secret to anyone else. And inshaAllah they never will. This will, inshaAllah, ease your burden.
 
Thankyou for everyone's replies, i have been following your advice, really repenting and asking for forgiveness and trying to do good deeds. I have been feeling better, but i still get pangs of fear, and today i feel more fearfull again.

I am hoping the passing of time will also help..

I did a keep a secret for a friend all my life, it is still secret for her because i kept it, even though that person turned out to be no true friend of mine and is not a friend to me anymore.

I am wondering if there are any duas i can read to help in my situation?
 
Just talk to Allah like you are talking to your friend, and tell Him everything that is on your mind and the weight that is on your heart. It will feel considerably lighter, after that. InshaAllah.
 
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I have been doing this, and thanks to Allah i have been feeling better and lighter afterwards, but i just don't know if it's enough..

I have been asking Allah to stop the person from ever telling my secret and to keep him good natured and for him to never want to tell anyone, but can i even ask Allah to control someone else's will and thoughts like that?
 
Yes ofcourse, but that doesn't answer my question. Are you allowed to ask Allah to almost control someone the way you want?
 
Its better if you pray to Allah to guard your secret, rest assured it'll never get disclosed, Inshallah
 
Selam aleykum
Sari, remember to only fear Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Trust that Allah subhana wa ta'ala will look after this being hidden, or that if it does get revealed he protects your life from being ruined by this.

glo said:
Would it be best if you brought this secret out into the open yourself?
Even if you have asked Allah for forgiveness, is there another person who you may have to ask forgiveness of?

Some things we cannot truly leave behind until we have brought them out in the open and dealt with them.
Otherwise you may spend your whole life with your fear and guilt haunting you ...

Just my personal thoughts.
I wish you well. :)
Click to expand...
Hi Glo,
I can see where you're coming from, but it wouldn't be good to reveal ourselves what Allah subhana wa ta'ala keeps hidden for us.
 
Abdul Fattah said:
I can see where you're coming from, but it wouldn't be good to reveal ourselves what Allah subhana wa ta'ala keeps hidden for us.
Click to expand...

But how do we know that Allah keeps it hidden for us?

If I had murdered somebody and had repented my crime before God, would it not still be right (and indeed part of my repentance process) to hand myself over to the police and confess my crime before my fellow human beings?

If I didn't hand myself over and I never got caught, could I live my life carefree, simply thinking 'if I didn't get caught, it must mean Allah hid my crime for me'?
Would that mean that 'getting away with a sin (one we have repented before God)' is equivalent to Allah having forgiven us? :?
 
Abdul Fattah said:
Selam aleykum
Sari, remember to only fear Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Trust that Allah subhana wa ta'ala will look after this being hidden, or that if it does get revealed he protects your life from being ruined by this.


Hi Glo,
I can see where you're coming from, but it wouldn't be good to reveal ourselves what Allah subhana wa ta'ala keeps hidden for us.
Click to expand...


I am putting all my trust in Allah, truly repenting with all my heart everyday and have been asking for my secret to be guarded. And it has been a revelation for me, i had lost my way quite abit and now i feel like i am re-discovering my faith properly and it feels really strong. My praying has increased by a mile and i feel content in Islam, and living my life properly by it.

Please, please, if anyone can spare some of their time, please make dua for me. I will be so gratefull. I have felt my breathing become really shallow at times because of all this fear, and i am worried for my health.

I agree with Glo, I have read many times that Allah says to hide your sins from the world. Ofcourse with something as serious as murder, i don't think this applies and you should give yourself up. My secret is something which was not a crime.
 
Sari said:
I agree with Glo, I have read many times that Allah says to hide your sins from the world. Of course with something as serious as murder, i don't think this applies and you should give yourself up. My secret is something which was not a crime.
Click to expand...
My example is extreme, I admit.
The point I am trying to make is that sometimes admitting a mistake/sin/error to the person/people we have wronged is part of our repentance, and may indeed be necessary to enable all involved (the sinner and the ones sinned against) to move on, free ourselves from the past and heal our hurts ...

I guess you are the one who knows the severity of your mistake, and whether you need to confess to people as well as to God.
May God guide you and protect you through this situation. :)
 
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