A strange phenomenon

[Yanal]

Bro Abd Al Rahmaan I think you forgot to put Alphas,cos I am one too:><:

 

[جوري]

Who was it that voted for the first option. C'mon, be brave enough to show yourself. :skeleton:

rofl so true and I was thinking the same-- sadly though, not a single vote for tall dark and handsome after all..

muwahahahahahha lol

 

[جوري]

Quite an interesting thread. I have to agree with wise man, Alpha Dude (there's a reason he's Alpha)

Just to add some more food for thought, in addition to the above, would there be something wrong with having a preference towards feature x or y? I mean, for example if a man does like something, such as green eyes or brown eyes for example, and would prefer it because he's attracted to it, is there something wrong in this? Assuming he will choose a wife based on proper criteria, what is the problem with liking certain things?

.. nothing at all wrong with a preference, I think that usually when you are with your mate, you'll find that the preference really takes a back seat or plays and ancillary role.. what I am commenting on isn't a preference, it is almost a sickness that is accompanying a deeply disturbed rooted psychology that says, this one thing is better and it is on a mass level that folks end up dying their hair purchasing colored contacts and bleaching their skin for a look that just won't happen for them since even their facial structure and features are designed differently. So rather than embracing their own specialiness they'd rathr opt for something they will never be..
Beauty, is beauty, you can't argue against whether it is tyra banks or Caroline Trentini are beautiful and hold the same job maybe the former even making a better salary, I am simply arguing against choosing the latter because she is white and then narrowing the margin of our definition of beautiful.

I think that's a mountain of a task when there's a massive ad campaign out there portraying a certain type of beauty as the ideal perfection.

Yes, but I don't notice this problem in other countries as I do in the middle east especially, I don't know that they are the same in China and Japan and Malayisa .. do you-- there must be something there, in their upbringing that is brain washing them with a certain image of beauty.. It is amazing to me that most of the commercials they run in Egypt, they choose gyrating Russian models, if you eat this cheese and wash with this soap, you'll look like this and be happy :lol:

anyhow, I shouldn't be so riled up, I think in order for me to keep my sanity to simply avoid forums where the members are so objectionable rather than try to change an idea they have.. May Allah swt have mercy on our collective souls..

 

[Banu_Hashim]

Yep, chose the same options as most people.

Just to add some more food for thought, in addition to the above, would there be something wrong with having a preference towards feature x or y? I mean, for example if a man does like something, such as green eyes or brown eyes for example, and would prefer it because he's attracted to it, is there something wrong in this? Assuming he will choose a wife based on proper criteria, what is the problem with liking certain things?

Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with it. But personally, I don't see a significant point in it... Of course you find individuals attractive; which human being doesn't ? But to put out such a specific criteria such as blue eyes only, it sounds like your building your master race or something...:skeleton:

But like Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips once said, if you've found a wife whose pious, from a good family, wealthy and beautiful, then you've hit the jackpot!

 

[aadil77]

:, this one thing is better and it is on a mass level that folks end up dying their hair purchasing colored contacts and bleaching their skin for a look that just won't happen for them since even their facial structure and features are designed differently. So rather than embracing their own specialiness they'd rathr opt for something they will never be..

Yh thats disgusting, happens loads in pakistani culture, soo many people trying to bleach their faces to become fairer, same sort of the thing there is whiter is seen as superior

loads of them use these creams and then end up with articificial paled out looking skin, theres one called 'fair and lovely' as if fairer makes you more lovely, just disgusting how they promote it. My auntie uses tubs of this crap

 

[Banu_Hashim]

Yh thats disgusting, happens loads in pakistani culture, soo many people trying to bleach their faces to become fairer, same sort of the thing there is whiter is seen as superior

loads of them use these creams and then end up with articificial paled out looking skin, theres one called 'fair and lovely' as if fairer makes you more lovely, just disgusting how they promote it. My auntie uses tubs of this crap

fair and lovely, lol. I saw this product advertised so much in India, last time I went. I really don't understand the mentality in south asian culture...

 

[Imam]

Though Islam came to put an end to racism including the skin colors , which according to the Quran is just a sign of Allah besides the sign of languages

30:22 And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.


still the awful attitude of some people towards the black-skinned people........... this ignorance is common all over the world ,even in the middle East....

I remember when I was a kid ,I had my best friend who was black-skinned,and the little girls of the neighbors mocked at him due to his skin color,and none mocked at me as I have light skin !!

but I was mean enough to get them stop it,and support my friend..

but you know though such silliness and mock sometimes, still there is no discrimination up there in work etc... for a matter of color...

we have hundreds of thousands of black Doctors,Engineers etc... and have all the respect for their knowledge and piousness....

you know what is the skin color which I noticed to be interesting for some people in Egypt?

It is neither the white nor the black !!

It is the colorless (which people call the red skin):-[

as the skin of the Russians,may be the British too? etc.... it is the face skin which you would be able to see the blood under ...

I have a dear Russian friend and we used to joke about that,and he smiles every time I talk about his red color...and he joke in return and tell me that he has blood while me pale has no blood ...


If we talk about physical beauty ..it is for me the face no matter the body nor the color...


but to be with a partner other things for sure,to be Religious moderately,open minded,patient,likes to reflect more than talk,Educated ...


peace

 

[aadil77]

fair and lovely, lol. I saw this product advertised so much in India, last time I went. I really don't understand the mentality in south asian culture...

its sad they've become complexed with themselves seein how only fair women are advertised everwhere, but I keep thinkin to myself if only they'd practise islam and then see the beauty erupt on their faces, Allah could naturally give them noor on their faces from their good deeds

At mosque I saw a black african brother as black as you could get, but MashAllah the noor you could see on this mans face, you could tell instantly he was a pious man, this is what they should aim for not all this artifical crap

 

[Banu_Hashim]

its sad they've become complexed with themselves seein how only fair women are advertised everwhere, but I keep thinkin to myself if only they'd practise islam and then see the beauty erupt on their faces, Allah could naturally give them noor on their faces from their good deeds

At mosque I saw a black african brother as black as you could get, but MashAllah the noor you could see on this mans face, you could tell instantly he was a pious man, this is what they should aim for not all this artifical crap

Aye. That's the problem isn't it. That people aren't sticking to Islamic teachings and sticking instead to their silly cultural norms and expectations.

InshAllah, I make du'a that Allah cleanses our societies from such ignorance, and narrow mindedness.

"O mankind! Lo! We have created you from male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware."

- Al-Qur'an Al Kareem 49:13.

 

[جوري]

Though Islam came to put an end to racism including the skin colors , which according to the Quran is just a sign of Allah besides the sign of languages

30:22 And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.


still the awful attitude of some people towards the black-skinned people........... this ignorance is common all over the world ,even in the middle East....

I remember when I was a kid ,I had my best friend who was black-skinned,and the little girls of the neighbors mocked at him due to his skin color,and none mocked at me as I have light skin !!

but I was mean enough to get them stop it,and support my friend..

but you know though such silliness and mock sometimes, still there is no discrimination up there in work etc... for a matter of color...

we have hundreds of thousands of black Doctors,Engineers etc... and have all the respect for their knowledge and piousness....

you know what is the skin color which I noticed to be interesting for some people in Egypt?

It is neither the white nor the black !!

It is the colorless (which people call the red skin):-[

as the skin of the Russians,may be the British too? etc.... it is the face skin which you would be able to see the blood under ...

I have a dear Russian friend and we used to joke about that,and he smiles every time I talk about his red color...and he joke in return and tell me that he has blood while me pale has no blood ...


If we talk about physical beauty ..it is for me the face no matter the body nor the color...


but to be with a partner other things for sure,to be Religious moderately,open minded,patient,likes to reflect more than talk,Educated ...


peace

sob7an Allah, you know this is really sad..

I attended a wedding of a dear friend of mine from grade school which my mom couldn't attend due to my grandmother's passing.. it was really lovely..

when I came home she asked me how it went, and I told her they seemed really happy..

well two days later, my mom asked me, 'is noha's husband a black guy' and I asked her, who told you this?
and she goes umm so and so said, 'I don't know why such a pretty girl married that black guy, he isn't much to look at, I even thought him Sudanese, couldn't she find somebody better?' ..

can you imagine, astghfor Allah, can you imagine this even gets back to the couple?

I have honestly never attended a wedding where the couple were as genuinely happy as the two of them.. even during my sister's wedding I didn't see this level of happiness if at all..

I don't understand what ails people, especially these women, they make me sick, I can't even muster a smile when I see them, they all pretend one thing and are another, gossipy, hateful, mean and pretentious ..

people translate these prejudices and hatred to their offspring, al7mdlilah that not everyone is this ignorant, I know that my friend married for two yrs now is genuinely happy in her choice, and I couldn't be happier for her.. still this attitude, I don't know if it will change any time in my life time..imsad

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

.. nothing at all wrong with a preference, I think that usually when you are with your mate, you'll find that the preference really takes a back seat or plays and ancillary role.. what I am commenting on isn't a preference, it is almost a sickness that is accompanying a deeply disturbed rooted psychology that says, this one thing is better and it is on a mass level that folks end up dying their hair purchasing colored contacts and bleaching their skin for a look that just won't happen for them since even their facial structure and features are designed differently. So rather than embracing their own specialiness they'd rathr opt for something they will never be..
Beauty, is beauty, you can't argue against whether it is tyra banks or Caroline Trentini are beautiful and hold the same job maybe the former even making a better salary, I am simply arguing against choosing the latter because she is white and then narrowing the margin of our definition of beautiful.

I agree.

Yes, but I don't notice this problem in other countries as I do in the middle east especially, I don't know that they are the same in China and Japan and Malayisa .. do you-- there must be something there, in their upbringing that is brain washing them with a certain image of beauty.. It is amazing to me that most of the commercials they run in Egypt, they choose gyrating Russian models, if you eat this cheese and wash with this soap, you'll look like this and be happy :lol:

anyhow, I shouldn't be so riled up, I think in order for me to keep my sanity to simply avoid forums where the members are so objectionable rather than try to change an idea they have.. May Allah swt have mercy on our collective souls..

Ameen. I know what you mean. In the desi culture, generally, being darker is less beautiful than being whiter. Like, if you went there and watched the TV ads there, you'll see ads that are to the effect of a girl with slightly darker skin color is sad because no one wants to propose to her, and then she hears of this amazing face cream which "brightens complexion" so she uses it and becomes magically whiter and "fair-skinned", and then she starts getting all these wedding proposals and she's so happy - all wrapped up into a 30 second advertisement.

 

[جوري]

I agree.
Ameen. I know what you mean. In the desi culture, generally, being darker is less beautiful than being whiter. Like, if you went there and watched the TV ads there, you'll see ads that are to the effect of a girl with slightly darker skin color is sad because no one wants to propose to her, and then she hears of this amazing face cream which "brightens complexion" so she uses it and becomes magically whiter and "fair-skinned", and then she starts getting all these wedding proposals and she's so happy - all wrapped up into a 30 second advertisement.

hahahahahahha.. I have seen that commercial in the old country..

it started with this 'beautiful' girl and her friend congratulating her on her wedding (while a 'handsome' dude awaits her in the adjacent room), then she in return hands her friend this cream (you know the secret to trapping yourself a man)
so wrong on multiple levels.. where do I begin :raging::raging::raging: ;D ;D ;D

I mean you can only have those two emotions, intense disgust and anger followed by a guffaw

 

[Intisar]

The problem is with colonialism, though it happened a very long ago the effects are still present. Basically, being closer to looking like a white person is beautiful. Ie. porcelain (or light skin), nice hair, lighter eyes, straight nose, etc etc.

In the United States, during the times of slavery the more white you looked the better chance you had of being freed. Ie. if you had ''good hair'' then your master would most likely set you free. The effects have not worn away until like this day.

For me, beauty is not only skin deep, but beauty comes from what you exude on the exterior as well. There isn't just one look for beauty. You can be white and be beautiful and at the same token, being black and beautiful.

 

[ghengis]

i honestly dont think humans can be beautiful, we smell, we digest food and all of the after effects, we burp... we malt hair and skin, our breaths stink. our nails get dirty...

beauty??? a trees beautiful cos it cant look itself in the mirror and form an opinion of itself, and others.

a human becomes beautiful when they become selfless also... acting sincerely, and not acting off their opinions of themselves...
beauty in action.... and beautiful attitudes are also possible.....

beauty is the wrong word to describe humans

i can tell u whats attractive in the human??? if u want...

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

i just pray i'm not the kind of people or influenced with those who looks at unnecessary and pointless physical beauty/looks (e.g. status).

But sometimes we don't realise that we behave that way...

 

[Banu_Hashim]

i honestly dont think humans can be beautiful, we smell, we digest food and all of the after effects, we burp... we malt hair and skin, our breaths stink. our nails get dirty...

beauty??? a trees beautiful cos it cant look itself in the mirror and form an opinion of itself, and others.

a human becomes beautiful when they become selfless also... acting sincerely, and not acting off their opinions of themselves...
beauty in action.... and beautiful attitudes are also possible.....

beauty is the wrong word to describe humans

i can tell u whats attractive in the human??? if u want...

^ Agreed. What's beautiful is when you become selfless, and have a good moral grounding, and on that basis everyone likes you.

 

[north_malaysian]

fair and lovely, lol. I saw this product advertised so much in India, last time I went. I really don't understand the mentality in south asian culture...

Fair and Lovely... very famous in Malaysia too...

 

[crayon]

loads of them use these creams and then end up with articificial paled out looking skin, theres one called 'fair and lovely' as if fairer makes you more lovely, just disgusting how they promote it. My auntie uses tubs of this crap

Ahaha fair and lovely, i was just going to mention that.. Their commercials drive me crazy UGH, they're so annoying.:raging:

Anyway, I had some more thoughts about this last night, but I'd already turned off the computer and gone to bed, so I couldn't post it on here. I wrote it down so I could remember though, lol. I was going to just scan it and post it up, but figured my hand writing would probably be illegible to most, seeing as I was writing fast before my thoughts could fly away.

Beauty is a package deal, you can't isolate its different parts, take one, and say that is what defines beauty.

Everyone is beautiful, has some element of beauty in them, no matter how small. Even Hitler was slightly beautiful in some way; before he went all psychotic and Nazi like, he was an artist, he used to paint flowers. That is beautiful.

Of course some people have more beauty that others, but it exists in everyone. I see true beauty as something that not everyone has, it's this "thing" that can't be explained. It's because of that "thing" that people love one another. One person may view someone else as an ugly person, or even just a regular one, but that person's spouse would see them as the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone has preferences and ideas about what the "perfect" person is like, so when someone's combination of characteristics come close to that ideal, there's this spark that isn't found with everyone else. And I'm not just talking about male and female relationships, btw, I mean any kind of interaction between human beings, whether it's friends, a kid and adult, etc.

And in all I've said, whenever I refer to beauty, I don't mean physical beauty, I mean the combination that I described earlier- I just didn't feel like repeating myself every single time.

 

[glo]

Fair and lovely?

And then there are caucasians trying to roast themselves tanned in the sun, or using self-tanning creams to look darker ...

It's a MAD world!!

 

[Muhaba]

It's really what you hear/read about that affects your attitude. If a bunch of people joined forums and started talking about how beautiful dark skin is, I think you would see some change soon. I've read so many stories about tall, dark and handsome, that i really find that a beautiful quality and voted for it, amongst others. (I voted for options 2, 3, 4, and 5).

I don't think white in itself makes a person beautiful. It's really the features that count. A person may be white but not beautiful and a person may be dark skinned and beautiful. I personally think green and blue eyes are beautiful; those are beautiful colors. But I don't think that people with blue eyes or green eyes are automatically more beautiful than people with brown or black eyes.

oh yeah and I read about that study too. Don't knwo what it's called but it was conducted by Jane Elloit.