Abusive parents

Brother,you are 19 years old and old enough to stand up for yourself. By the sounds of it your father is a hypocrite (My Sincere Apologies, No Offense Intended) and you need to guide him.

Do not be a doormat and take it.

Read what Allah SWT, our creator the most high and supreme is telling us :cry:

Read the beautiful words of our beloved prophet Muhammad PBUH imsad


Lo! Allah will gather hypocrites and disbelievers, all together, into hell! (Qur'an 4:140)

Lo! the hypocrites (will be) in the lowest deep of the Fire, and thou wilt find no helper for them. (Qur'an al Kareem- 4:145)

RasoolAllah SalAllahu Alayhi Wassalam said: “One of the worst people is a double-faced man, who come to one group with one face and to another group with a totally different face.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Ibn Hibban)

Print and show the above Hadith and Quranic verses to your father, Be strong and show them to him. If he shuns them and doesn't change then you must acknowledge that he isnt prepared to change and move out

Stay Strong Brother And May Allah SWT Help You In This Time Of Difficulty. Ameen
 
AnonymousGender said:
I do have older brothers and sisters. They are really no help they have their own issues. One of my brothers left Islam because my dad justified his actions through Islam and he pretends to be religious infront of other people. My older sister does not fast or pray either. You would be amazed how much my dad abuses Islam for his evil purpose. He is seen as a religious figure because he fakes it so good. He advised a person who is beating his wife infront of me not to beat your wife and have good relations with her. But he beat my mom infront of my eyes. He told this other dad that was beating his son "Children are not meant to hurt but to be loved" it angers me so much because he is a liar, a fake, a fraud he is telling others not to do things he does. He says anger is from shytan yet he when he screams its unbelieveable.
Sometimes I feel like exposing my dad but I cant. He is such a horrible person. He lies to people that everything in our house is paid by him and he works hard. He never worked in his life we worked and gave him money so he can live a luxurious life. I have to remain silent and listen to this do you know how I feel I want to just explode tell my dad off.
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Brother I can imagine how fustrating and angering that might be, but you have to go to an imam or someone knowledgable, make sure they don't know you or your family and try and find someone who isn't from back home and into the culture crap

You have to do somethin about it or you're gonna be rotting inside forever
 
you are a male and you are 19 so it means you can move out of your families home. you have a job.. if you were going to be a girl it was not going to be so easy moving out on her own. it was going to be a bad choice but since you are a man. you have that right! and inshallaah you will be okay. get out of that mad house before you lose your sanity. find yourself a wife inshallaah
 
AnonymousGender said:
I am 19 years old. Male not a female. I told one of my friends in high school once he made a very big deal out of it so I never told anyone after that. My parents would literally kill me if I told any of my cousins about this. They create this fake image of themselves infront of relatives as religious and nice people. You cannot imagine how far my parents could go to maintain this fake imagine of themselves to outsiders.
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I can imagine how hard it is to get away from an abusive parents. But akhee...for now you should think about yourself. Try to get some help. You have to find ways to be able to run away from this. Find a friend that you have trust in... a friend that you know that will help you all the way out.

How bad is the abused? Have you ever been hospitalised? Does the neighbour ever know about this? How your parents can keep this a secret from the neighbours? Just remember the salaf...how they are abused much much worst than others...but still can maintain their imaan...InshaAllah.
 
syilla said:
I can imagine how hard it is to get away from an abusive parents. But akhee...for now you should think about yourself. Try to get some help. You have to find ways to be able to run away from this. Find a friend that you have trust in... a friend that you know that will help you all the way out.

How bad is the abused? Have you ever been hospitalised? Does the neighbour ever know about this? How your parents can keep this a secret from the neighbours? Just remember the salaf...how they are abused much much worst than others...but still can maintain their imaan...InshaAllah.
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My dad would not take me to the hospital even though I was sick for 2 weeks straight. My parents can keep a secret you would be amazed how good they are in intimidating all of their children from keeping their mouths shut. This is why I dont really care for my mum she is with my dad keeping this a secret and tries to scare us into not speaking out. Over the years many of my teachers asked me and did interview with my parents but they never done anything about it. You guys dont understand is that I lived a very closed life even if I wanted to move out I dont have the skills required to live on my own. I never had control over my money and I am not allowed to go outside unless its for school or work.
 
Troubled Soul said:
Brother,you are 19 years old and old enough to stand up for yourself. By the sounds of it your father is a hypocrite (My Sincere Apologies, No Offense Intended) and you need to guide him.

Do not be a doormat and take it.

Read what Allah SWT, our creator the most high and supreme is telling us :cry:

Read the beautiful words of our beloved prophet Muhammad PBUH imsad


Lo! Allah will gather hypocrites and disbelievers, all together, into hell! (Qur'an 4:140)

Lo! the hypocrites (will be) in the lowest deep of the Fire, and thou wilt find no helper for them. (Qur'an al Kareem- 4:145)

RasoolAllah SalAllahu Alayhi Wassalam said: “One of the worst people is a double-faced man, who come to one group with one face and to another group with a totally different face.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Ibn Hibban)

Print and show the above Hadith and Quranic verses to your father, Be strong and show them to him. If he shuns them and doesn't change then you must acknowledge that he isnt prepared to change and move out

Stay Strong Brother And May Allah SWT Help You In This Time Of Difficulty. Ameen
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I accepted long time ago that my parents will not change. I tried to have discussion with my mum about the abuse. My mum flat out denied any such thing took place and called me and my brother a liar. Surprisingly my dad had a heart attack screaming at my family couple years ago. My family is such big liars my parents taught us how to lie so much its ridiculous. We lie so much because our life is much different from what my parents show to the world. Now I avoid talking to my cousins because I dont want to lie for my parents. Long time ago when I was 17 I did have discussion with my dad about islam because I realized my dad was not following islam. But my dad has the attitude "I am smart you are dumb". Infront of my eyes my dad stole other peoples stuff, took loans with the intention of not paying back, and he lies constantly and forces us to do so aswell. If anything I would assume my dad is a thug or a gangster. Even when I was young he use to swear at me as though i am a grown man. But agian its weird because none of his brothers and sisters are like this they dont even hit their kids. But all of them ignore my dad and avoid him which I am not surprised at.
 
AnonymousGender said:
My dad would not take me to the hospital even though I was sick for 2 weeks straight. My parents can keep a secret you would be amazed how good they are in intimidating all of their children from keeping their mouths shut. This is why I dont really care for my mum she is with my dad keeping this a secret and tries to scare us into not speaking out. Over the years many of my teachers asked me and did interview with my parents but they never done anything about it. You guys dont understand is that I lived a very closed life even if I wanted to move out I dont have the skills required to live on my own. I never had control over my money and I am not allowed to go outside unless its for school or work.
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akhee...you should believe in yourself. If the homeless person can survive why can't you. But you have to remember you need someone to guide you and you have to tell someone about this. Living in a closed life is unhealthy and will not make you any good. You should not let them control your life especially when it makes you worst. Learn to survive...watch everything around you. Even you'll learn to wash dishes for a restaurant is still consider a skill.

Probably you need to try to learn to help others by being a volunteer for an organisation. Living in this world is not living in an island...alone.
 

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