Addiction

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Salaam,

i have been suffering with a masturbation and porn addiction for the last year. this addiction has been rotting my brain and making me feel really out of deen and helpless. i hate feeling like this and i wanted to seek advice. i can't address this issue to my parents obviously and since im in quarantine, i have a lot more time to do this horrible act and i feel just lost. i always cry after i commit it and i always think "what's wrong with you" or "why do i deserve this". it takes a huge toll on my routines and cause extra laziness and extra sadness. i have stopped praying completely and i feel nothing in my heart completely. have i lost my iman? am i no longer a muslim? all of these questions appear in my mind. im at a vulnerable position because i want to work on myself and focus on only me, but i can't when im crying most of the time about doing this. all in all, i seek for help and support.
jazakhallah
 
addiction

salaam

for the past year i have been suffering with masturbation and porn addictions. this has taken a huge toll on my life and i feel so lost and helpless. i seek for advice and support as i obviously cannot inform my parents of the issue. i always cry after committing this act and wonder "what's wrong with me" and "what did i do to deserve this?" these questions appear in my mind and i am trying to reduce the amount of negative thoughts but it is hard when i feel filthy, unworthy and completely useless. i am at an all time low of sleeping at 9-10am and waking up at 6-7pm, i haven't prayed due to laziness and because im in quarantine and im bored 24/7, i tend to be sinful and commit this deed repetitively. i feel nothing in my heart and i find myself wondering "are you worthy enough to call yourself a muslim?" "is your mom proud of you?" "will you ever be able to change?" i am trying my hardest but im hanging on by a thread. as there's tears in my eyes as i write this, i need help and i need encouragement. i can't be the person i want to be if i always turn to this.
jazakhallah khayran
 
seek the help of a therapist who specializes in porn addiction and maybe also compulsive sexual behavior, and preferably a muslim therapist. make plenty of dua knowing that allah is watching and that he is the most forgiving and that you have made the first step in beating your addiction, admitting you have a problem and seeking help. he is most merciful, and he wants to help you if you reach out to him (allah). pray qiyam ul layl and beg him in the last third of the night before fajr. read plenty of quran and keep yourself distracted. dont spend time with friends who have the same addiction, dont think you will beat it together, rather you will be codependent, so take a break from them. fast if you are medically able, as this curbs sexual desire. know that the power is within you. do plenty of zikr and do adhkaar in morning and evening. make sure you realize many people have this problem, and also you have not left the faith. you still can change, sister, may allah help you. i beiieve in you.
 
wa 'alaykumussalaaam

Ukhti, whatever is happening in your life, whatever sin you have committed, do not abandon salat. It's the first thing we will be held accountable of on Judgement Day and it is a shield against immorality and evil deeds.
Keep repenting, do not despair. Allah is Oft forgiving, All Merciful.
And increase dhikr, reading Qur'an, tafsir, increase salat instead of abandoning it, fasting, sadaqat, other good deeds that will bring you closer to Allah.
We always need Him and He is never in need of us.


On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said:
Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. It was related by at-Tirmidhi, by Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad. (Hadith Qudsi)


Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Kitab and establish salat. Indeed, salat prevents immorality and evil deeds, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do. Al Ankabut 45

And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah ? Ali 'Imran 135
 
help me said:
but i can't when im crying most of the time about doing this.
Click to expand...

ma shaa Allah.Feeling sad and realising how grave your sins are,that is one of the characteristics of the believers,and a sing that your heart is not dead.If only i could cry about my sins the way you do.May Allah increase your faith and make you among the best muslim girls,Ameen.

I completely understand what you are going though.Pornography especially its like throwing rockets on your eman and heart.It destroys them completely,and it gives you brain fog,lower self confidence,lower energy levels,prolonged anxiety and stress etc and it drags you more and more into that filth and the worst thing about it is that it messes up with your dopamine levels so much,that the more hardcore porn you watch the more happy you feel at the moment and the worst are the side effects.You will want to watch porn so much that you would be willing to leave everything just so you can watch porn.

But i have good news for you.It can all be reserved,your eman can be back and the damage porn has made on your brain and your body can be reserved,but it will take some time and it all depends on you.
While my advise ofc it would be to stop watching it and stop masturbating,as everybodies advise.I know this is extremely hard,especially if you are used to it everyday.People who were never into this dont understand how hard it is.Porn addiction is the same as heroin addiction.
If you cant stop everything immediately,then stop watching porn first.After the desires are gone you dont feel the need to watch it,you know that already.So first of all try to resist it as much as you can,the first 3 days after masturbating are the worst because the brain and the body crave that dopamine so much and this is when the desires are also the highest.So please try to resist at least 3 days and then it will get easier.
In the mean time fast,you should fast everyday to make it easier for you to go through this.If others ask why you are fasting then say you want to be more religious and get your eman back,you wouldnt be lying as thats what you want to do actually.
While fasting everyday you should also pray tahajjud everyday.It will change your heart,and if you cant pray the other prayers then force yourself to at least pray 1 salah a day.
And if you sometimes still cant resist and it becomes unbareable then go through it without watching porn and start again with fasting and praying tahajjud,but dont let this be an everyday thing.Never watch porn again never or you will never break free from this,but if you do what i advised you,you will slowly get your eman back everyday more and from praying 1 salah you will pray 2 and 3 and in shaa Allah all.In a few months doing this you will see really big changes.

Marriage is also the best solution,but marriage would save one from masturbation not from pornography.So the first thing to do is stop watching pornography no matter what.
 
Walaikumasalaam

Don't be so hard on yourself. I know it's easy especially when out self esteem is low due to the sins we commit but Alhamdulillah, Allah swt is ever so Merciful. Like any addiction this may take time or it may not. It all depends on how engrained and how deep this habit has become.

If i found myself in this situation i would cancel my broadband, have no phone and cut off all access to technology in order to help me come clean or alternatively you can keep the laptop/computer etc. in the main family room. Put as many obstacles between you and the sin insha Allah.





Keep fighting against your nafs. Insha Allah you will succeed. Ameen.
 

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