Advice on the beard (as well as kind of what I am going through)

[drs00b]

Assamualaikum Brothers and Sisters

I am an 18 year old muslim brother who lives in Toronto. Alhamdulillah I am living well and everything but there is something that always bothers me.

I have made the decision to grow a beard and I feel as if it is me against the world out here. It really doesn't bother me that much that my non-muslim friends tell me to shave my beard and that it looks ugly, they just simply do not understand the religion of Islam

But what really saddens me and hurts my feelings is that Muslim brothers are telling me to shave my beard and (ohhhh you look like my 50 year old maulana) as well as a bunch of other smart comments that really make me want to get angry. But praise Allah I know how to keep my cool, self-control and not take my frustrations out on my fellow brothers. I think to myself are we the worst of all the Ummah's put together? That we have our own muslim brothers dissuading us from the practices of the prophet (SAW), and that we let the pressures and influence of Western society get to us?. I also hate the classic (oh, I dont need to grow one this is just sunnah)

Sometimes they say stuff like women do not like beards and that I will never marry a beautiful (external) woman unless I shave it, and that some employers are most likely to reject people who are not clean shaven.

My parents are not necessarily against me having a beard per say, but they are always commenting on how terrible it looks and that they would be pleased that if I shaved it off. That I think hurts my feelings the most and really hits the hardest.

Now for me, I would never dream in 1000 lifetimes of shaving my beard. I personally think it doesn't look to bad but that might be my own bias. Since I am only 18 years old, my beard isn't mature and full grown, which means my facial hair is really fine and thin. And with that, I get alot of curling action in every direction, especially directly on my chin. I try to comb my beard, but it always gets messed up so easily and reverts back to curling.

I thought it would be easy to keep a beard, but now it just seems like a huge burden.

If anyone could give me advice just on what I talked about, and how to really keep a clean, neat tidy beard (The prophet SAW also emphasizes this as well I hear)

jazakallah khair.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
what you mentioned of Muslims telling you to shave your beard, you will find common with other brothers wanting to grow their beards as well as sisters wearing the hijaab/niqaab, so dont be surprised with these ignorant comments, they are common....its hurtful, but your learn how to get over it. besides looking like a maulana isnt such a bad thing, right?

about marrying a sister, ask yourself what kind of sister do you want? one that encourages you with your deen, and appreciates you for who you are and who you want to be (i.e bearded) or a sister who wants you to be how she wants you to be? people who dont appreciate other for who they are, aren't worth your time and energy so you've really got nothing to lose.

some sisters find the beard attractive and there are sisters out there who think brothers look sissy withOUT a beard. so not everyone's the same.

maybe you should advise your brothers in islam...as for your parents, they probably just teasing you. im sure if they knew how much it hurt you, they wouldn't say or think that.

 

[M.I.A.]

i shaved for many years before i grew mine, i guess it would be harder to keep if you have never shaved.
even now i keep mine short lol feels odd to have my gran tell me to trim my beard. so i guess i can kinda relate.
anyhoo, guess its a perserverence thing....keep trying. and comb through regularly, with a comb or hand. im sure most people will learn to accept it in time.

 

[aadil77]

lol bro you sound like me, my whole family calls me moulana now, my mum also used to say I wouldn't get a job with a beard, but I did. So just ignore them

 

[Asiyah3]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers.” It was said: Who are they, O Messenger of Allaah? He said: “Those who are righteous when the people are corrupt.”

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Ahead of you there lie days of patience, during which being patient will be like grasping a hot coal. The one who does good deeds then will have a reward like that of fifty men who do such deeds. – And someone else added – They said: O Messenger of Allaah, the reward of fifty of them? He said: “The reward of fifty of you.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood (4341); al-Tirmidhi (3085)

 

[Abdul-Raouf]

I have experienced the same.
During my college (i was the only muslim out of 89 in my department/stream) as well as when i was searchin job...i heard a lot non-favourable comments from my muslim frnds/family and non-muslim friends... some of my classmates called me terrorists too.....im in a big MNC now.

bhai...just ignore...give a smile back too i do that.

 

[Salahudeen]

Don't let it bother u brother, who cares if we look ugly with it, we don't grow it for beautification purposes anyway, people tell me it doesn't suit me but I tell them

"you're missing the point, it's not about whether it suits me or not, it's about following the sunnah, I'm not growing it for fashion or to look good, I'm growing it to please Allah."

also when sister's wear hijaab they say "it doesn't suit you" but they're completely missing the point. They think everything revolves around how you look.

they have no concept of pleasing Allah and obeying the messenger.

 

['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

It's late so I'll have to keep this message short. You should buy this book and read it as it will help you a lot.

 

[Salahudeen]

:salamext:

It's late so I'll have to keep this message short. You should buy this book and read it as it will help you a lot.

I have an online version if he's a skint student ;D

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assamualaikum Brothers and Sisters

I am an 18 year old muslim brother who lives in Toronto. Alhamdulillah I am living well and everything but there is something that always bothers me.

I have made the decision to grow a beard and I feel as if it is me against the world out here. It really doesn't bother me that much that my non-muslim friends tell me to shave my beard and that it looks ugly, they just simply do not understand the religion of Islam

But what really saddens me and hurts my feelings is that Muslim brothers are telling me to shave my beard and (ohhhh you look like my 50 year old maulana) as well as a bunch of other smart comments that really make me want to get angry. But praise Allah I know how to keep my cool, self-control and not take my frustrations out on my fellow brothers. I think to myself are we the worst of all the Ummah's put together? That we have our own muslim brothers dissuading us from the practices of the prophet (SAW), and that we let the pressures and influence of Western society get to us?. I also hate the classic (oh, I dont need to grow one this is just sunnah)

Sometimes they say stuff like women do not like beards and that I will never marry a beautiful (external) woman unless I shave it, and that some employers are most likely to reject people who are not clean shaven.

My parents are not necessarily against me having a beard per say, but they are always commenting on how terrible it looks and that they would be pleased that if I shaved it off. That I think hurts my feelings the most and really hits the hardest.

Now for me, I would never dream in 1000 lifetimes of shaving my beard. I personally think it doesn't look to bad but that might be my own bias. Since I am only 18 years old, my beard isn't mature and full grown, which means my facial hair is really fine and thin. And with that, I get alot of curling action in every direction, especially directly on my chin. I try to comb my beard, but it always gets messed up so easily and reverts back to curling.

I thought it would be easy to keep a beard, but now it just seems like a huge burden.

If anyone could give me advice just on what I talked about, and how to really keep a clean, neat tidy beard (The prophet SAW also emphasizes this as well I hear)

jazakallah khair.

my brother thi is a trial for you and your are being tested through other people whether you will break or not. keep strong my brother because Shaythan will always work through others to try and break you.

You may look ugly to those who do not know or understand but to those who know and have true faith they will see the beauty of your beard.

If Allah thinks your beard looks beautiful then does it matter what others think?

If the Hoors of Al Jannah find you beautiful then does it matter what other women think?

If true practising sisters think your beard looks beautiful then surely you will not find a problem with regards to finding a pious partner for pious women want a bearded man not a shaven one.

Allah is the match maker not anyone else. Allah is the employer so he can give you whatever job he likes as he can change the heart of ANYONE!

There was a man in my local area who who had a full beard and he went for an interview in a proffessional job that he applied for.

The employer was happy with his experience and accredations but he stated: "If i was to offer you the position here would you shave off your beard because it does not conform with the way the organisation wants you to present yourself."

The brother replies: "Even if you were to offer me a million pounds i would NEVER shave off my beard." So he left immediatley. Soon later on by the will of Allah he finds a job that offered him more than double what that job was offering, Subhanallah!

So NEVER think that you will not be able to find a good job or a partner because of your beard because EVERYTHING that happens in this life ONLY happens by the will of Allah and it is ONLY by the command of Allah and his wish that he wants his male servants to have beards and ALL the Prophets and Sahaba had beards to.

It is only the media influence that has tarnished the image of the beard and has made it look undesirable but it is only undesirable to those who are lacking in imaan and understanding of deen but to those who have been given the true understanding of deen and closeness to Allah find it most beautiful and honourable for a man to have a beard.

So be firm and strong and think to yourself that you are gaining the pleasure of Allah by having this beard and this shouldbe enough for you to get you through ANY trial that the world may throw at you inshallah!

:wa: