Salaam can anyone offer some advice am married separated for about 2 years and even since I have went into to deep depression separating myself from people who care about me I have no kids and most times I feel I have no purpose at one time I was making salah as often as I can reading quran and it did help but I think my patience was not enough and I just stopped just like that I have recently started reading my quran again the English side as I can't read Arabic I sometimes feel as if am a hipocrite as when things dnt go may way or taking too long to see results then I stop praying then I start again it's like a cycle I have no energy for anything I dnt interact with no one and feel so alone I had a friend at work and she was helping me but we ending up having haram relationships which ended up in more pain to me as she has someone in her life and now we not as close as we use to be we hardly even talk and she was like my only person I would tell everything to and vent when needed I know that reading salah and quran and doing the right things will surely help My problem is focusing and patience sometimes I just feel like am worthless well that like all the time when I go to sleep I pray that I dnt wake up and when I do I dnt thank Allah swt for giving me another day but yet I say damn am still here , I just want to cry all the time but I've cried so much that there isn't anymore tears left I also feel like am not a man cause I have cried like a Lil baby so many times before I try to be positive and say I know Allah swt is testing me and for a short while I am positive but it doesn't last lone so I just need a friend that I can talk to and won't judge me I do take 100% blame for my marriage being broken because I was irrational and very hard person to live with the fact is I was depressed before I was married but it wasn't this bad it was more just unhappiness about my past like not finishing school knowing if I did I could have had a better job the lack of money but even then I had my wife to lean on but she needed someone to lean on to and I wasn't there cause I was self absorbed in my own stuff my only fear I have in life right now is am going to grow old alone and no kids no family wife nothing and it really scares me pls if u got any good advice pls help