Affection between a married couple

[henia]

Esalaamu Aleikum
Well I live in Algerie, a Muslim country. And here I do see couples young and old holding hands. Also within my family I do see affection shown btwn couples, but it is modest and same affection one would show to their sister, mother, brother and father. So light kisses on the cheeks or forehead and little cuddles.
I think anything beyond that I would (rather) not see in public or in your home with others around. Best done in your private room. In my humble opinion.

 

[Angel]

i sometimes see muslims couples holding hands n im like " aww so sweet"
i mean whats rong wit holding hands my own parents do that in public!! lol
i dunt no bouh da kissing thing though??:?
i mean i wundt wana see muslims snogin on da street oviously!! lol
but in their homes with thier family whats rong with that??

 

[ScoobyGurl]

I think it depends on the culture and the individuals. My husband doesn't like to hold hands in public even though I do. He reluctantly does. He feels that his affection for me should be reserved for the private sphere. He's American so I can't say it's the culture. It's just one of his preferences. However, I like seeing couples hold hands. I think it's very sweet.

What makes me cringe is seeing couples slobber all over each other in public. Now that's gross!

 

[north_malaysian]

How would you know they are both his wives? maybe one's his mom or sister or something. That's be pretty amazing though.

I'm thinking the same... especially when he mentioned of different generations of the "wives"

I think Muslim parents love to hold their children's hands while walking....

 

[manaal]

In Sri Lanka it is not customary for Muslim married couples to show their affection to each other openly in front of others. It's a culture thing really. She Lanka is a pre-dominanlty Buddhist nation, but we also have Hindu's, Christians nad Muslims. I don't see it much among other communities either. I have never seen ANYBODY kissing or hugging eachother in public, but many Sri Lankan young couples (married or unmarried) do hold hands in public, but I have not seen Muslims doing this.

 

[Maidah]

That's why glo! their a bunch of backwards people (pakistani) mostly (oops i am going to get a ear ache now - but it's true), culture dictates their lives. :X

Culture does play a big part for the pakistani ppl, but i would say the reason they're not able to show affection in public is because most of the marriages are arranged, where the two don't really know each other. In this case it will take some time b4 there is that affection between them, there will be care but affection is different. So you can't really blame them.

If it's a couple that already knows each other then there shouldn't be a problem unless they are very modest and like to show it outside as well. You don't really have to display your affection in order to prove your love, but if you do there is nothing wrong with that either (within limits though).

 

[iwuvaziaf]

I think Muslim parents love to hold their children's hands while walking....

ya.. u think bruv? my mum only appreciates it when we cross the road or in a busy market where we r likely to lose each other.. otherwise its a no.. but its comfort while it lasts coz she has such beautiful hands.. ahh my mum!

:statisfie :statisfie :statisfie i love her :statisfie :statisfie :statisfie

wsalam

 

[Mawaddah]

I absolutely LOVE it when I see a Muslim couple walking holding hands. I'm like Subhanallah that is SO sweet :statisfie

In Malaysia it's common and nothing strange.

Whilst staying in Yemen, I saw many couples walking the roads holding hands...and this was in the Islamic study camp..it was such a beautiful sight. There would be a Man wearing his Thowb and Imaamah holding the hand of his wife who was clad head to toe in black Hijaab, and in the other hand he would be carrying their little child

I remember this one couple in Dammaj, Yemen, who always made me so touched whenever I saw them walking together. The husband was German and was very very tall, and the wife was Yemeni and short and watching them holding hands together was like watching a father holding hands with the daughter, so cute!

Yes, there were also some men who would hold the hands of both of their wives, Whilst at Hajj also I saw many.

I think it's a very sweet sight.

 

[Aysenur]

salam

I think this is persomal to each couple...
Of course there is a limit ... The respect of the others...
Holding hands this kind of things are ok but when people start to kiss each other like if they were alone this is completely irrespectful...
Same non muslim will be ok on that point...

Also as muslim I always think that if there is a single who see me and my husband she or he may be jealous or sad because he is alone...
Then we try to be respectful toward them...

salam

 

[saira-k]

Culture does play a big part for the pakistani ppl, but i would say the reason they're not able to show affection in public is because most of the marriages are arranged, where the two don't really know each other. In this case it will take some time b4 there is that affection between them, there will be care but affection is different. So you can't really blame them.

If it's a couple that already knows each other then there shouldn't be a problem unless they are very modest and like to show it outside as well. You don't really have to display your affection in order to prove your love, but if you do there is nothing wrong with that either (within limits though).

yeah thats true

 

[Ra`eesah]

My husband and I hold hands, we say affectionate words in front of my family ( Habibi, Habibity). Sometimes he would get shy, because my dad would be around and I would poke his neck when we are all sitting together. But there are times when we go out he holds my hand in the stores, not out of affection, but to make sure I don’t wonder off and come with a cartful of items,lol

 

[youngsister]

^Awwww thats cute there is nothing wrong with couples holding hands in public is cute:statisfie some older ladies find it offensive as i heard two ladies gossiping about married couples showing affection and how is wrong, jelousy ey:rollseyes

 

[al Amaanah]

^ lol

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam / peace;

....I have never observed a Muslim couple express their affections openly in public ... something, which - I guess - is connected to the Islamic interpretation of decency and modesty..

In my country ( Bangladesh ) , couples normally don't touch each other in front of others , specially when parent or elders are around. I never saw my parent did that ( holding hands ) in front of us .



I guess , Prophet Muhammed (p) never did that in front of others , so Muslims also don't do this openly.

Since it is only natural to judge by what you see, it gives the impression (to the 'Western eye') that Muslim couples are distant and not very affectionate towards each other.

ummmm , cultural gap . Do u know i never heard mom is calling dad by his name & the vice versa ? They called each other like that , hey , r u listening or where r u or took help of us....where is ur mom / dad etc . :statisfie

Calling spouse loudly in front of elders was considered as a shameless act. Things are changing now. So , some young couple do call each other in front of parent . But , so far , have not watched holding hands.

So I am wondering just how affectionate married couples are within their own homes?

---here , still joint families are very common . So , except bedroom , chances are little that couples can do anything LOL :rollseyes

Within the own home, would it be appropriate for a married couple to - for example

• 
  hold hands in front of an elderly relative

• 
  
  
  no
  
  
  

  [*]hug each other, when visitors are present

  
  no
  
  

  [*]kiss and cuddle on the sofa in front of the children

  
  oh noooooooooooooooooo +o(
  
  
  what if kids start following parent ? mg:
  
  Normally parent don't talk to kids about these things . Who will tell kids that u are allowed to do it only after marriage ?
  
  
  If they watch these in their daily lives , surely they will try to follow.
  

 

[Muslim Woman]

That's why glo! their a bunch of backwards people (pakistani) mostly (oops i am going to get a ear ache now - but it's true), culture dictates their lives. :X

I don't think , it's a must in Islam to show love openly by touching hands or kissing .

So , if Pak Muslims ( & others ) don't do that openly , i really don't understand how & why u think they are backward people ??? :blind:


Our elders normally did not get chance to even talk to each other in day light in front of elders . They waited for night when they will get chance to talk & touch each other. I guess , many ( if not most ) of them very happy . They enjoyed the matter as they understood how precious it was.

Now , talking , touching.....these are not that restricted like these were in the past & look at many couples ......fighting with each other with tooth & nails ( yakkkkkk ).

May be , if we get something very easily , we don't realise how lucky we are to have it .......could it be a reason why some couples don't understand how blessful they are to get a chance to enjoy the matter lawfully ?

Anyway , i think , it does not matter how openly couples are doing it......it matters how much they really love each other & don't betray the partner .

 

[Muslim Woman]

Thanks, the reason why i quoted all of the above was to clarify that whatever he (peace be upon him) did in public, then we are also permitted to do that etc. ....

bro , can u explain a little more ? To my knowledge , Prophet (p) had race with Mother Aisha (ra ) when other people specially men were not around.


Also , in a normal situation ( not in a hard journey or wife was sick etc ) Prophet Muhammed (p) holded hand of his wife in front of others ?


If yes , then how come , Muslim copules dont do that ? I grew up without seeing these. Now somehow if my parent or uncle , aunties start kissing in front of me , i may have a heart attack :scared:


PS. we have 10 % Hindus here....i dont remember of any hindu couple showing love openly.

 

[nelly]

so islamically is it permissable to hold hands in public or not, personally i think if the woman was wearing a niqab it wouldnt look too bad.

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/ peace ;

so islamically is it permissable to hold hands in public or not, personally i think if the woman was wearing a niqab it wouldnt look too bad.

i think , it's better not to do so . Showing affection publicly may encourage other people to do the same ....but may be , they are not married .

couples can show love & respect in private . If we need to show other people that hey .....look how happy we are , we can do it in other ways......talk polietly , help each other in carrying bags , not to dispute in front of others etc , etc

& after all , why take risk of making other people jealous of u ? What if they try to harm ?


verse of the Day :


The seven heavens and the earth and all that is therein, glorify Him and there is not a thing but glorifies His Praise.

But you understand not their glorification.

Truly, He is Ever Forbearing, Oft-Forgiving.

(Al-Isra 17:44)

 

[carpetguy]

mashallah, i agree with you totally, talkign politley, helping each other with bags, and just going out meals, bowling halal things are all good ways of getting along.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

my mum and dad use to keep distance from each other out of respect for both Allah, the public and each other, this was due to the affect of hayaa' (shame and modesty). however my family and everyone witnessed their love for each other, they would do anything for each other, and they stuck by each other through out life, love doesnt always have to be publicisedm infact i think its more special and beautiful when hidden...