Jazakallah for all the advice.
It probably is partly to do with Exams/Madressa exams, and everything piling up, but its also other things, like future career plans, I mean I got a million things going through my head, and then things like people telling me aalim is a waste of my potential, and then finding out that my future goals are close to impossible to achieve. Everything I am thinking of for the future comes with complications. I also lack confidence in everything, partly because everyone is just backstabbing half the time.
Sorry for ranting
Hello there! Assalamu'alaykum,
You seem to be having a hard time in your life. May Allah reward your patience.
I usually write things down and divide them into two main categories:
(a) Things I CAN control
(b) Things I CAN'T control
At the end, focus on (a) only.
I can't control other people's action towards me, but I can control my actions towards other people.
I can't control time, but I can control HOW I use my time.
How old are you? It's good to plan, as they say, to failing to plan is planning to fail

, but that's not necessarily true.
At the end of the day, you'll be the one handling your life here and hereafter.
It's great that you've memorized 4 juz in 3 months! That's quite an accomplishment. Allah will reward you. Why don't you reward yourself?
Did you celebrate that success? Go hiking, horseback riding, visit a friend in another town or just take a break and really let your success sink in. You deserve it.
If you're my friend, you'd probably have a gift on your way, right now!
Peace!