Allah test those he loves. Please help

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flowergarden

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:sl:/ Salaam!

I have some questions to ease my mind. When people say "Allah test those he loves"

So the question is, if one sins; and from those sins s/he goes through great pain and of course regrets those sins... goes through depression and all because of it... and has been asking for Allah's mercy.

Now, people say this is also apart of the saying, Allah loves those he test... meaning that those sins are being washed away by a punishment/or whatever you want to call it and whatever the person faces the hardships the are being tested to come back to Allah and if they repent they are truly loved?

I hope I am not confusing.... I am just trying to figure out my life....

I feel like I won't ever forgive myself... I am so scared to get married. :(
 
Sis, Muslimahs like you - who have this fear of Allah through taqwa - are the best of women to marry. Any brother here would agree.

And no one is innocent - we've all got a history.

Look sis, if you knew my past, you'd think "blimey - he did all that?" and here I am today... there is a saying in English "just as every saint had a past - every sinner has a future"

Scimi

EDIT: sister, this is my past. I hope it can be of benefit. I am not particularly proud of my past either, as you will find out. just don't be too shocked. http://www.islamicboard.com/compara...islam-i-am-curious-about-164.html#post1438371
 
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salaam,
thanks for your help. I can't help but be hardd on myself... I even think I may be suicidal, but I know how.strips that is do I pray or read.a.book when I feel sad... nothing is.helping. I don't know what to d :'(
I need help
 
i can only approach this topic with bitterness.

but the way i see it, your/my losses are somebody elses gains.

although thats speaking as an adult, i have no idea how you justify the tests of children?

but im sure the afterlife is much better than what comes in this life.

..i doubt anyway, couldnt wait that long and its a sermon always delivered by those in comfort.
 
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i was being sarcastic.

before any understanding of god i only have the understanding of people.. do you test those you love?

i mean most things happen via people.
 
it is frustrating, but it draws us closer and closer to the understanding that we need to establish the rule of Allah on earth - that will be a shield from many of the "tests" of shaytaan we go through.

look at this young man, the only thing i can think is that at least he hates evil and wants to avoid it.

 
The imam at the end was so emotionally overtook by the state of the youth, and he felt as if the elders had let the youngsters down - his remorse was evident... if only more elders woke up to this the way he had, and did something about it... what? I do not know... but guidance in all matters comes from Allah. And on HIM we rely.

Scimi
 
Abz2000 said:
I recommend you get a punchbag, and paint the devil face on it,
And release ur stress
u'll feel so much better in no time.
Here's a nice pic of him at work:
Click to expand...

Salaam, Jazak Allah Khair! Good thing I just brought a punching bag and enrolled in kickboxing lessons from women :) A way to stay in shape and a way to keep guard .



M.I.A. said:
i can only approach this topic with bitterness.

but the way i see it, your/my losses are somebody elses gains.

although thats speaking as an adult, i have no idea how you justify the tests of children?

but im sure the afterlife is much better than what comes in this life.

..i doubt anyway, couldnt wait that long and its a sermon always delivered by those in comfort.
Click to expand...

Salaam Brother... I am a bit confused haha, what bitterness was approached?
When you say our loses are someones gain, I believe that... I feel like being in a situation that was traumatizing that then led to vulnerability... I didn't seek counseling which I should have; but couldn't afford it... and than I made a mistake... but today I am very strong, I am in law school hoping to help children, women and men who are in the same position as I was, to serve justice and make them feel better and seek help; the type of help I couldn't get. So I guess with my lost InshAllah I can help people with justice and get back on their feet.
 
Abz2000 said:
it is frustrating, but it draws us closer and closer to the understanding that we need to establish the rule of Allah on earth - that will be a shield from many of the "tests" of shaytaan we go through.
Click to expand...

Salaam,
Yes you're right! But what I just cannot get out of my head is that no matter how many good deeds I do, no matter how much I try to stay away from evil... I will not be rewarded with a righteous man... I know we all make mistakes and some of them we don't even realize... But the only one I can realize and think of is truly a burden and it seems like one day I am great and see the beauty in me, and than like one week ago I started feeling like in light words crap.


These nice post help me, and I always look back at them to remind me... but this question, when people/friends/Mosques sisters tell me "Allah loves you for the hardship and tears" I feel like I am just being punished for being a bad person. I also feel like, if I pray may be Allah will not think I deserve a good man, yet I feel deep down in my heart I am a sweet caring and potential (InshAllah) I can be an awesome wife, I know I am very compassionate and I just was put in a horrible and sad situation (actually very hurtful- abuse and rape is what it is). and as a young teen I made a mistake after the rape/abuse happened out of lost and being vulnerable ; I am now 22... So I am still young. I just when I think about the man who is asking fo my hand, and I care oh so much about... I always think MashAllah I can never hurt him and he deserves a righteous women
so I am wondering to the men and women brothers and sister... Am I a righteous sister? a righteous women?
know I sound so stupid... but I just need help sorting my feelings. :/


Jazak Allah Khair to everyone for taking the time and the support you give me... I appreciate it with all my heart Wallah. Thank you so very much!!!!!!!
 
You are a righteous sister, you display all the correct signs of repentance :) when will you believe that sis? this is frustrating me :)

Scimi
 
a righteous man would understand your past as long as you want the best for the future,
please don't make the mistake of confusing righteous for self-righteous.
the best way to test a man is by telling him without coming across as over-vulnerable or desperate to be accepted, and inshaAllah you WILL find the best of the best.

that's my opinion anyway - but maybe that's coz of all the things i've done in the past.
and nobody's perfect so don't be fooled by a facade.

i am really sorry to hear of your past experiences ukhti, may Allah make it a cause of the highest raising of status on the most important day in our lives.
 
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flowergarden said:
Salaam,
Yes you're right! But what I just cannot get out of my head is that no matter how many good deeds I do, no matter how much I try to stay away from evil... I will not be rewarded with a righteous man... I know we all make mistakes and some of them we don't even realize... But the only one I can realize and think of is truly a burden and it seems like one day I am great and see the beauty in me, and than like one week ago I started feeling like in light words crap.


These nice post help me, and I always look back at them to remind me... but this question, when people/friends/Mosques sisters tell me "Allah loves you for the hardship and tears" I feel like I am just being punished for being a bad person. I also feel like, if I pray may be Allah will not think I deserve a good man, yet I feel deep down in my heart I am a sweet caring and potential (InshAllah) I can be an awesome wife, I know I am very compassionate and I just was put in a horrible and sad situation (actually very hurtful- abuse and rape is what it is). and as a young teen I made a mistake after the rape/abuse happened out of lost and being vulnerable ; I am now 22... So I am still young. I just when I think about the man who is asking fo my hand, and I care oh so much about... I always think MashAllah I can never hurt him and he deserves a righteous women
so I am wondering to the men and women brothers and sister... Am I a righteous sister? a righteous women?
know I sound so stupid... but I just need help sorting my feelings. :/


Jazak Allah Khair to everyone for taking the time and the support you give me... I appreciate it with all my heart Wallah. Thank you so very much!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
]

:sl:

My sister you really need to stop concerning yourself with what other people think. What matters most is what our creator thinks as he knows what is in the deepest part of our hearts. No one else knows and therefore no one else has any right to judge you from your past actions if you have changed nor should it matter what anyone else thinks or says.

Also why do you need other people to tell you that your pious or righteous? Again no one knows what is in your heart so no one has the right to call you or me righteous. Again that is something Allah knows best. So sister make your concern what Allah thinks of you because if you do everything to please Allah and refrain from anything that may anger or displease him then he will make people see you in the best of light and most of all he will be pleased with you which is the only thing we should be concerned with. Therefore it matters not what anyone else thinks as long as we are trying our best and striving to do the best we can.

Regarding not being positive about finding a righteous man then this is about having Tawakkul which is having trust in Allah. Surely it is he who sets up our partners and therefore as long as we try our best and strive to be the best we can be and go about looking for a partner in the right manner and also have patience then surely get will find us the best person for us.

So have hopes and Trust in your creator and do not let the insisting whispers of shaythan and your nafs (desires) put you off having hope and Trust in Allah as shaythan our sworn enemy will stop at nothing to try and deter us on the wrong path and he will keep Chipping away at us until we crumble and break.

So we must be firm with ourselves and internalise the fact that everything comes from Allah and only he can change the hearts of others to see us in the best of light and only he has the right to truly judge us because he knows what is in the deepest part of our hearts. Only he decides which partners we end up with.

Therefore the solution to your issues is to put all your trust, faith, reliance and hopes in Allah and internalise that EVERYTHING whether good or bad in our lives comes from him. You are the person you are today due to your past so take lessons from your past in order to make the best of now. But the worst thing you can do is to let your past have a detrimental effect on your present. You must move on and forward from your past and know that all that matters is the present as tomorrow is also u certain...

So ask of Allah and beg of him during the blessed nights of the last ten nights of Ramadan and open up to him and let it all out. Make a firm commitment to him that you will put all your faith, hopes trust and reliance in him and not concern yourself with what other people think or how they perceived you.

So this best opportunity to change your life for the better forever!
 
Abz2000 said:
a righteous man would understand your past as long as you want the best for the future,
please don't make the mistake of confusing righteous for self-righteous.
the best way to test a man is by telling him without coming across as over-vulnerable or desperate to be accepted, and inshaAllah you WILL find the best of the best.

that's my opinion anyway - but maybe that's coz of all the things i've done in the past.
and nobody's perfect so don't be fooled by a facade.

i am really sorry to hear of your past experiences ukhti, may Allah make it a cause of the highest raising of status on the most important day in our lives.
Click to expand...

Salaam Abz123, Thank you for you reply!

You're absolutely right about confusing the both of righteous and self righteous. I think I just don't see good in me, and look at other with a "whoa". But I am slowing and surely seeing that it is not right... And its true, a lot of people are not what they seem... They can seem like the perfect person, but it can only be a cover up until you actually know them... so yes you're right..

Thank you for your support and help... I am at a point in my life where I am trying to accept what has happened to me, but I feel like it somewhat ruined my childhood/teen years, as in leading me to a bad path. But Alhamduillah I am better and I am hoping InshAllah to help other girls who are in the same situation I was in. It's just hard to accept a lot.

Thank you so much... Jazak Allah Khair!
 
Hamza Asadullah said:
Also why do you need other people to tell you that your pious or righteous?
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Salaam Brother Hamza,
Thank you for your reply, and support!

I guess I have some self esteem issues I need to work on. And in so many way, I don't know how to approach it? I don't know how to help myself, and that hurts. I can help so many people, but not myself, does that even make sense?!

Hamza Asadullah said:
Regarding not being positive about finding a righteous man then this is about having Tawakkul which is having trust in Allah. Surely it is he who sets up our partners and therefore as long as we try our best and strive to be the best we can be and go about looking for a partner in the right manner and also have patience then surely get will find us the best person for us.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are right... I know I have all my trust in Allah with what He has planned for me... I guess at my age, I just wonder will I ever get married. Than I laugh because I am young still.:p

I just wonder some times, is there such thing in Islam as "if it is meant to be" as in what if you know some one but don't talk to them... but feel like some how it may happen, just for now the time isn't right... is that a stupid feeling???



Hamza Asadullah said:
ou are the person you are today due to your past so take lessons from your past in order to make the best of now. But the worst thing you can do is to let your past have a detrimental effect on your present. You must move on and forward from your past and know that all that matters is the present as tomorrow is also u certain...
Click to expand...

This is so hard for me, is remembering this, and not letting the past effect me... because I really do believe it is! I think it is lowing my esteem, and making me too shy... :hmm: I don;t know what to do? I don't know how not let the past effect me? I don't know how to not look back and think, it was such a tragedy on a girl who didn't deserve it... I accept Allah's will, I always will... But I just need help with seeing everything will be okay... or need help seeing I am OK, and see the beauty in me again...

Alhamduillah, I am getting better each day, so I guess I just need a lot of time!

Jazak Allah khairan for all the support and help!!!!!

Allah always protect you all, and bless you and your prayer!:statisfie
 

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