Am I evil?

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I think we all can agree on what it means to be good, this is not rocket science. It seems I confused war and being at peace or neutral. But I will continue asking.

But one thing I know is to follow my fitrah, and follow what I know deep inside to be good, and avoid confusions.

I really from the bottom of my heart try to just be a good Muslim, and I want no harm.

I sometimes don't understand some ayats, but I have to keep in mind that Allah SWT is All-wise and thus jumping to conclusions on 1 ayat is just ignorance.

See me as judgmental or whatever, but I honestly am just trying to understand Islam, and I do know I've gone from one extreme to another. From intolerance to tolerance, from being harsh to being kind, etc. Fluctuating.

me calling being good not rocket science yet here I am -.-' If I've ever been rude, I apologize.

@Pygoscelis I have noticed that you said I was harsh and intolerant. Know that it was not because I hate you as a person, cuz I don't know you, but rather I didn't understand myself, nor did I understand Islam, so yeah..

Idk, we do disagree on beliefs and stuff, and this is a big jump, but lets just shake hands and end this.. If I don't start showing mercy how can I expect mercy in return. I don't seek anyone's pity. I am just trying to better myself.

I forgive all the extremists who have brainwashed me and I henceforth won't let anyone destroy my view on Islam, and I will strive to do good, cause why do evil?

This sounds so cheesy of me.. XD
 
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*Hug*

There is nothing kufr about following the Fitrah, yeah? Sometimes when I read a verse in isolation ( I know not a good idea) in my fitrah, the way I understand some verses, goes against the very core of the fitrah.

I'm probably overthinking, nothing wrong in thinking, double-checking, and stuff.

anyways if something is bothering me then it is obviously my understanding of it that is flawed. Cause why would so many kafirs come to Islam, cause the way I saw Islam, back then, it was illogical.

Anyways, I will think for myself, and stuff like that.

EDIT: actually my whole point is illogical, of course I should think, reason and follow my Fitrah! Doing otherwise is being like a sheep, and I doubt Allah SWT says that..

Only by thinking, reflecting and searching can one reach Truth, Al-Islam.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I said any wrong. Ameen.
 
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I feel really bad for being cruel at heart. I was blind to the good character of the Prophet SAW. I will try to emulate his (SAW) character for now.

Alhamdulillah now I can start fresh. In shaa' Allah.
 
IMO, I really believe that in Islam is the most balanced of the three divinely revealed religions, and it was the last one, so this makes sense.

The Jews are the most harsh in terms of their beliefs. Look at the many verses in the Old Testament/Torah and look at the Talmud. They are taught that non-Jews are basically beasts, and that they are only there to serve the Jews. And they are not encouraged to try to bring in converts to their religion, unlike Christians and Muslims. Of course not all Jews are like this, but this is in a general sense.

The Christians on the other hand are taught that God/Jesus loves the sinner as if it doesn't matter what people do (but at the same time Christians believe that if you don't accept Jesus as your lord and savior, then you are going to hell - so what good is it if that according to them Jesus or God "loves" you?), and that when people are wronged to in essence always turn the other cheek. However, how are you supposed to defend yourself?

So with Islam, this is a middle path. A way to live that is a balance of sorts between the two extremes. And I'm aware of these verses that teach to be harsh against the disbelievers. There are others that teach to be kind, fair, and just even if is against yourself and in favor of the non-believers. Correct?

And also I think that certain Sunni Muslim sects IMO seem to emphasize the more harsh verses to a certain extent. Not saying they are wrong. There's a time for these verses, but as far as I have observed, Muslims are taught to be the middle nation, the one that is not one of the two extremes, and the one that takes the middle path, etc.

There's a story about Ali in the Hadeeths. It's beautiful actually. He's on the battlefield. You guys probably know it. And the bottom line of the story is that he stops himself from doing something out of anger, because this would have been from his Nafs (desires?), and not for the sake of God.

There's another story I've heard in the Hadeeths that say that the Prophet Muhammad is in essence like someone standing at the front of a campfire at night, and he's trying to catch the moths before they fly into the fire, as of course moths are attracted to the fire. And this represents that he was a Mercy sent to all of humanity by God to help people not enter the Hellfire in the same way that someone would try to stop moths from going into a campfire at night. And this is another way to look at the fact that Muslims need to at times not be harsh but merciful to others because God is merciful and God doesn't want people to go to the hell fire.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. Thank-you.
 
Oh and I'm sure you are in no way "evil."

You should never thing that.

You sound like you're decent and kind but like a lot of people to some degree or another, you have stuff you've got to deal with and take care of.

Peace and blessings
 

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