Am I wrong?

[AnonymousPoster]

I have a tendency to wonder about people who have been helpful to me and then suddenly disappeared. I simply hope they are not ill or in any kind of trouble. I will PM them to ask after them when I see them active again. For example, one brother offered to advise me indefinitely, since he had expertise in the field I was entering into. To me it's simply good manners to inquire after someone like that when they haven't been around for some time. I don't like to use people or make them feel I am only contacting them when I need them.


However the person concerned has been active for days and replied to posts on various threads, yet days later did not even bother to acknowledge my PM. I've been left feeling embarrassed as if I have done something wrong.


I don't understand how people think and so forth. I am left wondering if they simply don't care that you asked how they are? Or, do they think it's not necessary to reply? I already have low self-esteem when it comes to social skills, and this has made me feel like a total loser. Where am I going wrong? I find this kind of thing upsetting and want advice as to how to act in similar situations in the future? Thank you in advance.

 

[Cabdullahi]

i hope that person is not me

 

[cat eyes]

Humm i dont usually pm the sisters that much but when i do i want a pm back as soon as possible OKAY SISTERS :raging: lol :hiding:

Yes i believe its important to have manners and ask that they are okay or not but i always like to think that they had a reason not to answer my pm

Like what i usually do is i think a million good things before i think anything bad about them sis and thats how we should be. you see shayytan will play with us until eventually he manages to get us to back bite about the person to another an say ''so an so did not answer my pm, i wonder whats up with her'' then the backbiting will start. shayytan loves to mess with us you know and we have to learn how to fight these negative thoughts..

Try not to take it to heart and hurt yourself over it.. just make duaa and chat with some one else to take your mind off things


Maybe some one like me:embarrass

if your a sister of course nice to have a good old chat once an a while

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Maybe you didnt do anything wrong. If you know you didnt say anything wrong than dont worry about it, maybe the person doesnt think they can be helpful or has decided they dont have the patience who knows...im sure your fine.

In some cases people do slip up though
I was contacted by a member asking me about some job related stuff, but this person decided to throw in some racist insults about Arabs so I put them on my ignore list. I dont tolerate hate on any group and have zero patience with people like that.

 

[CosmicPathos]

Maybe you didnt do anything wrong. If you know you didnt say anything wrong than dont worry about it, maybe the person doesnt think they can be helpful or has decided they dont have the patience who knows...im sure your fine.

In some cases people do slip up though
I was contacted by a member asking me about some job related stuff, but this person decided to throw in some racist insults about Arabs so I put them on my ignore list. I dont tolerate hate on any group and have zero patience with people like that.

I understand that. But dont you think just putting someone on ignore list and not "educating" them and forgiving for the first time a good idea? Of course if someone is really insulting, you should not listen to them. But as I see, that person did not insult you but made racist remarks. You should have tried to address them instead of just pressing "iggy" button? I dont know, I guess everyone approaches things differently.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Oh please, dont give me that. I approach things for the most part very well thank you very much. But when someone blatantly calls Arabs the most ignorant race on planet earth, Id rather not converse with a crazy ignorant person. Its not my job to educated every fool that comes my way. Sometimes I need to preserve what little sanity I have left rather than trying to deal with these individuals. Especially ones who are clearly several rungs up on the hatred ladder.

 

[Woodrow]

this tread has become a disgrace. time for everybody to calm down and forget about this thread.

enough said.

:threadclo: