Anger and fear

[Jen]

salaam people.... hope ur all well...

ive got this problem that ever since ive moved to iraq i get so depressed by the move that some days i cant stop crying and other days it turns into really bad anger and hate... and astugfirrallah i get really angry to the point that :raging: :enough!: mmm yeh anyway and i say things i shouldnt i dont know what to do!!
also a while back before all of this got out of hand and really bad i was in my rom one day talking to my friend on the phone when i suddenly heard a scrap on my door and when i went to see what it was there was nothing there and when i got back to my phone call i got this really bad feeling like i wasnt alone it was really disturbing and i was so scared i was crying really badily down the phone... my friend managed to clam me down a bit but for the rest of the day i wodnt go anywhere or do anything alone and it was like this for a bout a week and then my behaviours spun out of control... the only other time i felt a bit of that fear was a while before that incident when i was in the shower... it was like something was there on my left side near my sholder.... and after those incidents the bad behaviour started to get out of control... like at the time when im doing it a part of me is real weak and doesnt agree.
when i do bad stuff and get really mad i know i should stop like in my head somethings saying 'jen this isnt like you' but something is there... i dont know how to describe it... the anger just takes over... and after the fight i end up fighting with myself... one second im thinking 'i should go and apologise' and the next second 'why should i apologise to anyone and if my friend calls i'll just hang up' i dont know what this is... is it me gone crazy? Please Help!!

 

[The Ruler]

its not you going crazy sis...you are just getting stressed to the point where you just cant control your emotions. the best way to deal with is is by endulging in something that makes you enjoy the time...for example chocolate!...i dont know what this is called since i am no psychologist...but it seems that the anger and fear inside you makes you imagine things that are not actually real...i remember when i was small, i used to be scared for nothing...and whenever i was anywhere alone, things took shape and seemed real even though they weren't...its jut a state of mind where your imagnation takes over (i am referring to the door scratching and the thing you mentioned about you feeling something on your left side).

the easiest thing to do now is to njoy yourself...to calm yourself down...its possbly the change of place that hasaffected you that bad. try listening to the Qur'an. it always helps to calm your mind. and as you mentioned in your introductory post, it will also help you strengthen your emaan, which in turn helps you with the current problem.

May Allah help you with your problems and make the path out of it easier for you; and strengthen your emaan.

 

[akulion]

well sister you are in a war zone all alone. So it is only expected that you would suffer from anxiety and fear.

Just have firm faith and keep reminding yourself that good or bad - life is a test and so we must endure in patience.

Also if its not me being too nosey, why did you decide to move there in the middle of an ongoing war?

 

[Jen]

where im living in iraq in the north is really safe alhumdulilah so far its been peaceful alhumdulilah.. but because my parents are at that stage they want to have an early retirement and that and wanted to go home. especially after my mums best friend died of cancer 2 years ago and she didnt really have any family with her so that was like a lesson to them.....