Attributes of the ideal Muslim husband.

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i live in aussie and in the quran it says that we have to abide by the rules given to us if we live in a non islamic country such as aussie right but why are there still men marring other women in other countries or states

also if a man does remarry does he have to tell his 2nd wife that he is alredy married

futhermore why do men marry more than one lady wat are there reasons

and finally dosnt a man have t o treat all his wives the same

jazak allahu khair it was a good read

however i would like these queastions answer thank u
 
:sl:

^there are heaps of polygamy threads in the marriage section, look them up i think you'll find answers there
 
Im a male but i cant answer your question because im not married yet. However i dont think i will be marrying more than one wife.
Men have different reasons for marrying more than one wife..
  • to have more kids,
  • one wife doesnt satisfy them
  • because they want to and can afford it

A man has to treat them all equally though. Spend same amount of time and money on all of them.
 
Well he is likely to make life very difficult for himself if he doesnt treat them equally because his wives wont be happy.
I dont know if there is any specific punishment for this, but rest assured he will have a miserable married life
 
It's not easy to keep both wives equally happy even though i agree the husband should if in that scenario. Either way the husband would be stressed 24/7 doing so. :)
 
THats why its best to just stick to one wife. There may be situations where its preferrable to marry another 1. for instance a widow who is in need of a protector and caretaker.
Otherwise 1 should be enough and a man shouldnt go actively searching for another wife to marry. One of my uncles did that. He married another wife just because he could..
 
I have no idea LOL Im not married. I dont know what married men go through.
They probably have this psychology that if they marry another wife, the problems will go away :? lol
 
lolwatever said:
ok i think now its pretty obvious you're either pretending to be a Muslim or an ignorant with prejudices making claims and hiding from them whenever you get the chance.




I think there's ALOT of stuff which is imposed on men that aren't on women, and the rules in those cases are infinitely harsher on men if they try to dodge it compared to women. read surat at-tawbah for example.

in fact, if you compare the number of incidents men where literally repremanded (severely) by the prophet compared to the women it's pretty obvious who tends to be put under the pressure the majority of times.

You'll NEVER find a case for example where female companions where ordered to be ostracised and not spoken to for months, and you'll never find the prophet telling a woman off the way he did Abu Tharr for example (in two cases, the one about bilal, and the other case to do with praying long)... even tho female companions done similar things, e.g. when that lady was praying for extra long, the prophet didnt tell her off the way he did abu tharr infact he told aisha to tell her in nice words that she shoudlnt do that.

And when safiyyah got picked on for being the son of a jew, the prophet didnt repremand the other female companion (it might hav been one of the wives) the way eh did abu tharr for being racist, it was NO where near that. And, he didnt beat up the woman who called safiyyah 'u daugther fo a jew'.

In fact, what you do notice, is that the majority if not all the cases where advises where directed to women (e.g. the oen about kufr al-asheer) where never made as comemnts directed at any female, they where general advises.

Whereas in the case fo men, you'll find that MANY of the advises where taught via hard lessons for the men who committed the mistakes. Infact even the verses that where sent down regarding the prophets wives incident, they where NO WHERE NEAR as harsh as the verses revealed regarding the 3 companiosn who 'khulifoo' and even about the prophet himself after badr, and regarding the incident when prophet told zayd to not divorce his wife and many others... infact, the number oftimes men where repremanded in quran (both kafirs and Muslims) is INNUMERABLE comapred to the number of times women where repremanded.

But ofcourse, that explains why you conveniently choose to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to hadiths, because it disproves too much of what you claim.



That's very sly of you.

The fact is, Allah knows better than me or you the wisdom behidn his rulings, but let me explain one of the (possibly many) reasons for the first ruling.

I think you know very well that houses go broke because of the crazy amount of cheating that happens by the husband on his wife. Allah knows more than both of us about the weakness of men when it comes to this issue in particular.

Instead of being unpractical and saying "no only one wife", Allah legislated that a man can marry upto four to curb any haram actions or temptations that may result. This means that there's no excuse for men to go out and get involved in haram relationships or filthy underground activities.

Let's assume that wasn't the case, i think you know full well that many men might still go out and do haram if they're married to one, i mean lets face it, isn't that what happens in the west? and even in Muslim countries today?? What's the implication of that?

a. You'll have b#strds being born due to no crime of their own, deprived of any proper upbringing and left to be streetkids (that's what happens most of the time)
b. AIDS, there's nothign to stipulate that the adulterers cant go have relationships with other people, which is the major cause behidn it.
c. Disgrace adn family fueds if family members find out.

So Allah, from hsi wsdom, legislated that a man can take upto four wives if one doesn't keep him satisfied. Atleast that way the other relationships will be halal and sanctified by a contract meaning that the chidlren taht result will be protected under the shareeah and get their full rights from the parents rather than being born and ending up flushed in a toilet or disowned or something horrible like that!

Yes the first wife might not be totally impressed, but you know why? That's simply because of the way this society looks down on such thing, it seemst hat extramarrital affaris are cool but polygamy is not. When really it's in the wife's interest that her hubby don't get involved in haram and atleast true loyalty is kept within the family.

This is offtopic but i'll leave it there, but i hope that answers you're puny logic.



Where does Allah give the men right to beat up their wives constantly, and ofcourse... you conveniently will discard the hadith that mentions that it's to be done with a miswak! and the hadith that literally explains 'tharban ghayra mubarrih' (a hit that doesn't cause any scar/injury etc).

And even in the quran, you know full well that's the LAST resort and not the first. And it's only when the wife is doing 'nushooz' (and even then, ti's the last resort).

Give me example of the prophet beating any of his wives constantly or even occasionally?!?

Yeh it is part of many cultures for that to occur (even in western countries assaults are on the rise), and there are many "cultural" Muslims out tehre, but really, since when did culture have any say about Islamic rulings??



After my first reply, i think you get the point that we don't hear of men saying "why do we get harsher treatment from the prophet than women", "why do we have to fight and they don't, arent we equal", "why are we held accountable for more issues than them, shouldnt they get same load as us", "how come we still hav to pray even if we're severely injured in fighting, and they dont have to pray when they get their period", "why do mothers have to be respected 3 times more than me who go earns the money for the house and has to do all these extra Islamic duties as well as helpign my wife out".

You're making it sound like women are looked at with hate or something in Islam which is pretty pathetic of you, oh yeh but i forgot you're a kafir when it coems to hadith, so hadiths like "remind yoruselves to be good to women" and "don't be the sort who hit their wives during the day and then sleep with them during the night" and the hadith about the prophest face becoming grim and angry when he saw a woman slain only till he heard that she kept swearing at the prophet (which is worthy of captial punishment for both genders), as well as the prophet's tolerating of the female companions talking 2him in high voices even though that wasn't tolerated with the men (becasue of the verses revealed in surat al-Hujurat), and the hadith about the prophet seeking advise from Umm Salamah in state affairs, and why would the Quran and hadith speak with such praise and admiration regarding peple like maryam, asiyah the woman who was thrown in the trench, the hairdresser of pharoah, khwalah! (a verse came in her defense specifically regardign a husband/wife dispute) and subhanallah sooooooooooo many other characters throughout history (Musa's mother and many many many manyyyy other people, oh yeh adn the roman slave girl in makkah who stoodout)..... that's all lookign down on women innit :?

Didn't it occur to you that an army was dispatcehd to one of the jewish cities specifically becasue a woman's skirt got lifted and laughed at? Why would anyone care if they where suppose to be beaten up constantly and trashed and "cheated on" (subhanallah pologyamy is seen as cheating and haram relationshps doesnt cop even a fraction of the criticism we give to polyamy). Similarly in the time of Mu'3tasim who threateend to sent an army simply over a woman captive to a king of the romans... and the respect we have for julanar, Qutuz's wife whom he loved and respected very much... and yet, just because women have to wear Hijab and adhere to non opressive rules, we behave like emotional maniacs over other people's actions.



And to be quite frank, just because the hadiths about males responsibilities towards the wife and household arent being circulated as much, doesn't change the fact that the rules still apply!

Now ameen, see how i replied to you? line by line? that's what i want you to do in the PM.

salam
Click to expand...

:salamext:

MashaAllah......Bro lolwatever.......nice stuff....JazakAllah khair

:wasalamex
 
The only attribute that a man/woman (to be taken for a spouse) should have is that he/she should submit to God alone and should not associate any partner to the attributes of Allah.
 

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