"Behind the Scenes" of IB

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re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

A conversation occuring with zAk and his newly acquired apprentice.

zAk JR: Hey zAk,like my name?

zAk: Ermm,^o) whos this?

zAk JR: Guess who? I'll give you a hint,my previous username started with a Y and ended with a L.

zAk hears a thud,seeing Woodrow on the ground.

zAk JR: Why'd he fall this time?

zAk lifts brother Woodrow onto a bed and tucks him in.*muttering to himself* Allaah Akbar*

zAk JR: So can I be your apprentice?

zAk: :hmm:

zAk JR: I take this as a yes.

zAk: Not again..:hmm:

zAk JR: Not again what?

zAk: Nevermind,if I say yes will you stop bickering about?

zAk JRs eyes shines and nods.

zAk: Very well. First thing is,get me a cup of chai.

zAk JR: Okay*runs out of the room*

zAk speaks to himself; What have I done to get stuck with him?

zAk JR runs in and slips,spilling hot chai on zAk.

zAk::raging: They don't pay me enough,first Rashad now you..You meddling teenagers*sighs*
Yahya better be influenced by those two.*he thinks to himself*.

---------

To be continued,insha'Allaah: This script is not meant to offend anyone.
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

abdulmājid;1371075 said:


Yikes! that's Rashad's report card, tore up his report card! ;D
Click to expand...

:sl:

I thought it was mine..:hmm:
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

A few days back Tilmeez was given responsibilities at the gates of LI. It was Admin Woodrow who recognized his abilities to scrutinize and hunt trolls. (There was another hidden reason for that which only Admin Woodrow knew: Tilmeez was asked to use a specially designed laser gun that would cook all the trolls he hunted and feed Admin Woodrow's horse - Blacky. :Evil:)

Tilmeez is scanning all the new users through the human detector.
A robot also comes along and stands behind a user.

Tilmeez: What's your name?
New User: Mouse.
Tilmeez: What's my name?
Mouse: (looks at his badge) SM Tilmeez.
Tilmeez: It's just Tilmeez. SM stands for Super Mod. ... Can you multiply 2 x 2?
Mouse: Yes. 2 x 2 = 4.
Tilmeez: ** Sends this answer to Woodrow. He calculates it on his old scientific calculator and sends in OK signal to Tilmeez.
Tilmeez: (Opens the gate) :welcome: to Islamic Board. Hope you enjoy your stay with us. :) Be careful Mouse, Woodrow has adapted a cat recently and it keeps wandering around :p

*** Murmurs to himself: Ya Allah have all the humans out there finished that you sent a mouse here for membership? :hiding:

Mouse: Thanks bro. I will take care of that^o)

Mouse enters the IslamicBoard. A dozen members rush forward to welcome him.

Now it's the robot's turn.

Tilmeez: Show your ID.
robot: ***Shows his ID. It says:
Google Spider.
Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; Googlebot/2.1; +http://www.google.com/bot.html)
​
Tilmeez: ***Mumers: Spider? First a mouse, and now a spider?
Tilmeez: Type these two words:
setwidth700recaptchaexa.gif

robot: ***Types: overlooks inquiry
Tilmeez: *** What! he's so smart! Let me give him a tough question.
Tilmeez: What do you get if you multiply 3 with seven and subtract the answer from twenty nine?
robot: 21
Tilmeez: Try again.
robot: 3729
Tilmeez: I am sorry, you will have to stand behind that line. ** Points to the banned users line **
robot: ** Turns around and starts marching. Left right left right left ...


Two days later Mouse was just enjoying looking here and there. He was just strolling accross the gate of Technical Support area when Woodrow's cat saw him and pounced on him. The Mouse ran to save his life and he ended up entering the LI Control Room.
Rashad and Woodrow are sitting there.
Rashad: Who allowed him here? It wasn't me, I swear. :phew
Woodrow takes his stick and tries to stop his cat. But the Mouse jumps on the Database rack. As Woodrow is about to move aside, the Database rack comes down with a huge crash, smashing its clear glass doors.
Rashad panicks and locks the LI gates. They all try to contact their Technical Team, but no one responds.

Nobody knew what happened next but the cat and the Mouse were nowhere to be seen. Woodrow noted, Blacky ate something so filling that it skipped its lunch :X

After nearly 20 hours, the Technical Team is working on it, trying to fix all the mess. Rashad is covered in dust.


zAk enters the Control Room and finds Woodrow, AabiruSabeel and Tilmeez discussing the previous days events.

zAk: Assalam o Alaikum, How are you all. So what's the update? Has Rashad confessed? And any traces of that New User?
Rashad: I am innocent. :nervous:
Woodrow: I'm sorry, gentlemen.
AabiruSabeel: Why are you sorry? What have you done?
Woodrow: I'm sorry, that Mouse and my cat mess the whole LI :(

Woodrow: I told Rashad the whole situation and he plainly refused to help me out. I thought he will take the blame and things will be easier for us to explain :raging:

Again all three shouted: WHAT?
Tilmeez: Uncle Woodrow, did you switch your break fast with Blacky this morning? You mean it wasn't Rashad this time but the New User and your cat did this all?

Woodrow:Calm Down nephew, I was just informed by my horse that SM Tilmeez has shot them both with 200 points of Laser infractions and Blacky ate them :X

zAk and AabiruSabeel both look at Tilmeez and .....:skeleton:


Disclaimer:
Based on a True Story....
All Characters in this episode of "Behind the Scenes of LI" LI have been changed and any resemblance will be just a coincident and Writer or Director are not responsible for that. :skeleton:
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

I did I totally don't get it. Looks like a bunch of random, incoherent spam.
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

Amoeba said:
I did I totally don't get it. Looks like a bunch of random, incoherent spam.
Click to expand...

The thread isn't a free for all spam zone. The purpose is in the name: Behind the Scenes of LI.

The OP wrote some scripts related to the behaviour of staff and most of them contain in-jokes/had a specific context (which at the time most members were aware of as the forum was still young). Perhaps this is why the thread appears incoherent to new readers.

If you can't get your head around this thread, a word of advice - don't venture into the Muezzin and Minaz, Masters of might, magic and Monday Mornings one. Even I get confused by that lol.
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

said:
don't venture into the Muezzin and Minaz, Masters of might, magic and Monday Mornings one
Click to expand...

What?!

I think that thread is GENIUS!

such a shame Minaz is nowhere to be seen and heard, and Muezzin has been too infrequent in dishing out his "advice"
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

aww i missed this thread its been ages since i read it one ov my fav!!
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

Tilmeez is sitting in office at LI and Ramadhan enters.

Ramadhan:Assalam o Alaikum,
Tilmeez: Walaikum Assalam, how are you, akhee?
Ramadhan:Akhee I'm not feeling good. I mean I have developed this bad habit.
Tilmeez: Which bad habit?
Ramadhan:I have noticed that whenever I stroll around I unintentionally smell members without getting their attention.
Tilmeez: Ohh its nothing, akhee, it must be your misunderstanding try concentrating on your work. Tell me about your work and other activities. (After some time of discussion Ramadhan walks out of the office satisfied)

The sooner Ramadhan leaves his office Tilmeez start typing a Top Secret email that reads:

Dear Sir,

Just had a short sitting with Moderator Ramadhan and my findings are that his Auto Troll Detect System that we fit into his left leg, during his training as a MOD, is not working properly. You are requested to kindly issue a new chip programed for said MOD. I suggest we should do periodic integrity check of other systems within this week.

I will be ready for operation today at exactly 0000hrs Eastern time.

Pls find attached log file and other details of the chip for your information.


Regards,
Tilmeez
Incharge
Auto Troll Detect System Monitoring.
LI Control Room
 
re: "Behind the Scenes" of IB

My fav thread i missed it doesn't anyone post anything hea anymore??
 

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