being close to mother!

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AnonymousPoster

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lately i'm feeling low as i see my friends with their mothers and how they get on etc. but me and my mum dont see eye to eye!
my mum always criticises me, e.g. you gaining weight, your eyebrows are wrong shape, why cant you be like so and so! etc etc. this has always made me closer to my dad, however as i've had a proposals (thinking of getting married) i really need some women to women advice, the way my friends do with their mothers but my mother isnt like that! its funny cause there is only a 17yrs age gap and she according to my friends is 'cool' however i've never felt like that! she never tells me i look nice if i dress up, or well done if i get good grades, if i make her breakfast its like somethings wrong with it! i'm feeling so low, my sister is 12 and she gets on with her, this sounds really daff but i get the feeling my mums jelouse of me, i dont know why because she's better looking than me, has got good qualifications. when she's with her best friend she tells her things like if she didint come along so quick i would have done this and that! i think thats one of the reason i wanna get married at 19. i cant remember her ever cuddling me or anything like thats its like i've done something she cant forgive me for!
SOZ FOR SOUNDING LIKE A BROKEN RECORD BUT I HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST! :hiding:
 
:sl:

Well, I am a brother, so my advise might not be so good for you, but I will do my best. You should do a family meeting with your dad, mom and you present in the room. Confront her, explain the issues you have with her and what is her reason for doing such awful things to you. You should do that firstly.
Hope it aids your sistuation.
:w:
 
salaam sis,

I think your mom has love for you, she might just have trouble expressing it to you because you haven't always seen eye to eye. Maybe you can go to your mom and just tell her how you feel and just say sorry for any trouble (whether you have or haven't) caused her and how much you would love to talk with her women to women, I dont think no mom would turn away from her daughter after that.

Good luck sis, May Allah reward you.

Walaikumaslaam
 
You know my friend is in a similar situation, her mummy would fall out with her for maybe six months to a year at a time, there is three sonz and her, and the mummy constantly treated her differently, and I think it was all down to education, she only attained a HND and her two older broz got degrees, however I think she just had a thing with her sonz more so than her, I mean for a whole year she didnt speak to her, whilst she was organising her wedding, and her mother still didnt speak to her.The arguement was coz she hesitated in sayin she would take her shopping, coz she was sick of running for her and her brothers doin nothing, even when she had a million things on her plate. Her mother was just sooo inconsiderate. Anyway, we own a family flowershop and on mothers day we decided to try for the last time to make a mendz, so she bought a card and my mum gave her free flowerz coz she was urgin her to talk to her mother. So she went to the house with the flowers and a teddy and set them in the living room and went upstairs. the mother shouted thank you, but anyhow later on something happend i cant remember what...something simple, il post it when i remembr, and her mother threw all the giftz in the bin!!Anyway, my friend was heartbroken and conviced her mother hated her and never loved her. She coodnt remember ever being hugged or told she was loved...anyway, she was dertermined to sort it out, went home later that nite after crying her heart out and us talkn it over, and with the mixture of anger and need for a mother, she went and confronted her mother, and now they are back to normal and both overseeing wedding planz etc. It showz that determination and swallowing your fear, you can somehow sort it out...think of it as a Jihad..dont give up till u know what the score is and can have the mental weight of relief lifted from your shoulderz...your entitled to know whatz wrong with her....just write it all down on paper, and when u can muster up all ur love and needz and go to her!! Inshallah you will be fine!!! My friendz mother findz it too hard to apolpgize or speak...mother and daughter are just two peaz ina pod, but JUST DO IT as Mr Nike sayz!!!lol!!Good Luck, May Allah swt be with you....we all are!!!
 
Asalamu Alaikum Sis,

Your mom loves you even if you dont see it... all those criticism she expressed was to "train" you to get better for your married life... for example.. something is wrong with the meal you prepared... its not that she's trying to put you down.. she's trying to make you better at it so you can prepare delcious meals for your husband when your married.

As far as eyebrow n stuff is concerend... I don't think you're allowed to touch your eyebrows.. its haraam... but the point she was trying to make was to always try and look your best... and that too is preperation for your marriage.. so you can look good for your husband.

My sister always has to ask our mom for compliments..etc. where as our mother just freely expresses it to us (sons). It's not that she doesn't love her daughter... just that there always a lesson behind it.

Even so... I'd advise you to sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel... she'll be happy to work things out with you... After all, Allah has put love inside the mothers heart for her children.

May Allah make it easy for you inshallah.

W'salaamz,
Hamid
 
Are mothers which keep more with the children which in their eyes are more sensitive, weak to face the issues of this world. May be you have a strong character and she feels you will always manage you. Thats why she doesn't show her feelings for you..like huging and other things.
 

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