Being Gay and Muslim

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I atleast do accept you brother asad1, the point being though, you never had to make a choice in the first place, but now that you want to, my advice is don't suppress yourself, thoughts are just that, and denying them makes them stick to borrow from zazen etc, perhaps if you give it a rest for a while, and over think it you will have a clearer mind.
 
asad1, the reason why you visited this forum I think is so that you can gt some advice based on the Islamic faith, otherwise you could have visited all sorts of other counselling websites. So now the muslim brothers have offered you the islamic advice and now its your choice.
 
Yes but it was more to do with the fact that I thought you would understand me better as you have Muslim parents/relatives etc...
 
true, the reactions of some go beyond the edge when such matters are brought up, so don't be too naive and go around telling everyone, although either of your parents could be quite sympathetic and understanding. but this is your problem, and you have to deal with it regardless of people's reactions for or against it,,
 
asad1 said:
I'm 17 and pretty sure I'm gay. I really don't know what to do as I've tried 'turning straight' but it doesn't work for me. No one knows I'm gay and my parents are strict Muslims. I don't want to lead a false life and I get the impression other Muslims don't understand I didn't choose to be like this and I can't change it either.
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HIV/AIDS epidemic ravaging Washington DC
Posted Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:22pm AEDT

The US capital is being ravaged by an epidemic of HIV/AIDS, with African-American men and people aged 40 to 49 the hardest hit by the deadly virus, a report says.

At the end of last year, 3 per cent of all Washington residents over the age of 12 had the HIV virus that causes AIDS or the full-blown disease itself, a report by the city's Department of Health said.

"To some, 3 per cent of the city's population living with HIV/AIDS may seem like a small number. In comparison, of all Americans, less than one-half of 1 per cent are living with cancer," the report said.

It also pointed out that both the United Nations' HIV/AIDS agency and the US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have defined an HIV epidemic as "generalised and severe when the overall percentage of disease among residents of a specific geographic area exceeds 1 per cent."

"The overall proportion in the district is three times higher," the report said, warning that the true infection rate in the capital is probably even greater because "between one-third and one-half of residents may be unaware of their infection."

The rate of infection in Washington was higher than the impoverished African nation of Burkina Faso, where around 1.6 per cent of adults between the ages of 15 and 49 are living with HIV/AIDS, and Ukraine in eastern Europe, which has the same infection rate as Burkina Faso, according to UNAIDS.

In Washington, black men and adults aged 40 to 49 were the hardest hit by what the report called "a substantial epidemic," with around 7 per cent of both groups found to be living with HIV, the report said.

White and Hispanic women were the only two groups who were below the UN and CDC-defined epidemic levels, with infection rates of 0.2 per cent and 0.7 per cent, respectively.

Men having sex with men was the leading mode of transmission of HIV/AIDS in Washington, accounting for nearly four in 10 cases, followed by heterosexual contact and injection drug use with 28 per cent and 18 per cent respectively.


Read the part in bold and you will know why this practice has been hated and destroyed by Allah SWT in the past. If you want to lead a clean and healthy life I suggest you get some help and seek Allah SWT assistance of ridding yourself from this mental state. If you strengthen yourself in the Deen of Islam you will understand that this practice is going against the creation of Allah SWT. And Allah SWT Says:

Quran 7:81 "For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds."

Quran 27:55 "Would ye really approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant!"
 
:sl:

This thread is for giving help and advice from the Islamic perspective. Therefore, all posts that were not helping with this have been removed. There are plenty of other threads discussing the nature of homosexuality - please use those for such discussions.

For the thread starter, please have a look at some of the links below - some are older discussions similar to this thread, and others are from external sites. I hope they will be helpful Insha'Allaah.

You need to focus on how to overcome gay tendencies and what is the way forward to be the best Muslim you can be. Forsaking your deen and thus eternal success is not an option. This isn't about making such a choice, as was alluded to earlier. Rather, Islam will provide a way out for you and help you overcome your difficulties. I have heard of a number of people in your situation who went on to live perfectly normal lives, even getting married. The links below contain advice on how to achieve this, and there are also Muslim support services on the internet - perhaps someone who knows can mention them Insha'Allaah.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/44461-marriage-homosexual.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/16081-can-i-cure-homosexuality.html
Ansar Al-'Adl said:
From IslamToday.com:
Question: I have a big problem. Sometimes I think that I am a gay, but at the same time I have feelings towards women too. I feel miserable. I know Islam is against homosexuality. Am I sinful to have these feeling towards men?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî, former professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh

If a man has homosexual tendencies in his heart, he is not sinful for these. Allah does not call us to account for the feelings in our heart that we cannot always control. However, we are called to account for the deeds that we do.

A man who has homosexual tendencies must avoid acting upon them. He should remain chaste and seek his reward with Allah for his abstinence.

I advise you to do the following:

1. Do not proceed with those feelings. Instead, engage yorself with something else that is productive.

2. Do not look at men with desire.

3. Do not respond to any mental desire to do any action conforming to these feelings, by touching other men, coming closer to them, or the like.

4. Increase your portion of worship, particularly fasting, if you can do so.

May Allah guide you always. (SOURCE)
​
So this is a test from Allah swt and you must patiently persevere and control any inclinations you may have of this nature and not act upon them. If you persevere, God will bestow upon you an immense reward. Your duty is just to control your desires, God will help you with the rest. You are not responsible for something beyond your control.
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How to give up Homosexuality

All About Homosexuality

Gay, Struggling, and in Need of Help

Struggling Against Homosexuality, Finding Islam
 
you can have gay tendencies, but its still haraam. just like if you had an attraction to animals, or babies; it wouldn't be halal. you can blame it on a gene all you want, it is the way Allah made you. Everyone has wierd tendencies, but some can control it better than others. Wallahu 'Alam
 
you can have gay tendencies, but its still haraam. just like if you had an attraction to animals, or babies; it wouldn't be halal. you can blame it on a gene all you want, (or claim that) it is the way Allah made you. Everyone has weird tendencies, but some can control it better than others. Wallahu 'Alam
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^^ hey well done and well said, new Brother!

it is just matter of using common-sense, ain't it? (I was dying to say it but I thought I had over done it with bluntness already)
 
man, i feel bad for you brother. YOu come here for advice and everyone is fighting each other and posting shizzz about AIDS and whatnot.

I have always had a feeling that gay people weren't really in a place where they "chose" to be gay, per se. I've known lots of people who live that path, and two were medical doctors and continue to live happy lives together. But they don't have religious doctrine telling them it is haram.

The thing i worry about is, what if we advise this guy to fight it and fight it, and he just marries someone for the sake of marrying and lives a dull unfulfilled life? Like he is always feeling as though he has no real partner in the way that one of us would find in a wife? Then we successfully advise him to live a depressing life, as though his parents had forced him into a marriage with one person when he really loved another. That is what scares me about advising here.

Nevertheless, I would recommend that you fast a lot, keep praying, and try to limit your time with boys to whom you are attracted. It is easy for me to hide from a girl who I think is smokin' hot, because I am trying not to mix anyhow. But for you, you are always around guys and they may change in front of you and stuff. Maybe Allah means for you to develop a sort of modesty that is beyond what any of us know. That you are modest to both women and men equally.

I don't know, but I pray for you man. That Allah will make your situation easier for you and show you clearly what you must do to please Him, InshaAllah.
 
I am confused
I have always had a feeling that gay people weren't really in a place where they "chose" to be gay, per se. I've known lots of people who live that path, and two were medical doctors and continue to live happy lives together. But they don't have religious doctrine telling them it is haram.
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I do not understand this part in particular
 
the bros here askin for help, not to be judged like that.. its help thats required not, your own judgements against him...
 
perhaps we can dedicate another topic to 'The Haram/Halaalness of Gay feelings' or dangers of being gay.

we should concentrate on the matter at hand...i.e. a brother came to us to us to provide him with emotional and mental support.

asad>>
no one can (or should) judge you for what goes inside your heart.But rest assured, you shall be part of the global Muslim family.
I understand the feelings come uninvited, and it seems almost impossible to wash them out.

I dont remember the source, but i remember reading somewhere that we should lower our gaze even when with 'beautiful youths/young men'. I guess this comes to show that Islam does address the non-choice nature of gay-tendencies. <correct me if i'm wrong}

Take it as a test from God. A life-long jihad. with a great reward at the end.
 
This may sound rude to ask but forgive me: Do you get a strange feeling when women touch you? And no strange feeling that men touch you?
 
No I don't feel funny when women touch me...sometimes happens with men.

I've been looking at a site called (link to site removed)


It's quite useful..
 
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BROTHER??? This is how you wanna approach your problem??? by visiting such deceptive websites.
Please try to understand the advice of the rest of the brothers. TRY AND FIGHT IT not the other way round.
How would you like if someone legitimizes consensual sex by twisting interpretations of the Qur'an?
 
^^ some people come to learn/seek advice while some others come to teach and preach by strategy!
 
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asad1 said:
No I don't feel funny when women touch me...sometimes happens with men.

I've been looking at a site called (Link removed)

It's quite useful..
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I think you have an agenda. You don't want to take any advice from the brothers rather, You are here to promote such websites. Wallahu A'alam.
 
Look I don't have an agenda, I just typed gay muslim into google and it's one of the things that came up.

I'm not sure how to approach this at all....you all seem to think this is something I can get over but I highly doubt that will happen.
 
TexasMuslims said:
I think you have an agenda. You don't want to take any advice from the brothers rather, You are here to promote such websites. Wallahu A'alam.
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I will be a bit kinder in my agreement.

First I believe you are correct and I am going to remove the link. But, I doubt if the brother is intentionally trying to spread anything. I see a young man caught in a dilemma and to ease his pains is trying to get some approval for his thoughts.
 
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