Boyfriend and Girlfriend in Islam?

[Zuzubu]

Asalamu Alaykum Waramatuallahe Wabarakatuh.

Is it permitted to have a girlfriend(fiance) in Islam? Even if you don't hug, kiss, flirt, or even touch her? Do you have experience yourself about this?

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

To be engaged and not having any intimate moments is okay but it is recommended that the time period in between engagement and wedding should be short enough to understand each other well.

P.S. This is not a legal advice. Ask an Imam instead.

 

[selsebil]

Assalaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
According to verse:
" Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)." Quran 17/32
This verse tells that there are some acts leading to adultry.Having relationship with the opposite sex is one of them.

 

[Innocent Soul]

Assalamualaikum

According to Shariah, engaged couples are regarded to be strangers for one another before marriage. As such all the normal rules of gender interaction would apply.

Therefore, it will not be permissible to interact with one’s fiance informally, whether this is over the phone, e-mail or by writing a letter. As for formal interaction, then that would be permissible as long as one does not fear falling into the unlawful.

The reason being that, firstly disobedience to Allah Almighty results in the Baraka of the prospective marriage disappearing. Secondly, excessive interaction creates unnecessary doubts in the minds of the engaged couple, thus one becomes uncertain whether one’s fiance is the right person for marriage or otherwise.

And Allah knows best

Source

 

[Hannah.]

a big no-no.

 

[highway4]

Assalamu alaikum, for what i have seen so far is people refer each other as fiance or engaged to let people know that the two are intended... in other words they have accepted on their own will that they are in preperation for a nikkah... This reminds me of Prophet Muhammad (saw) daughter Fatima who was asked her hand in marriage from a few ppl before Ali (RA) asked...

 

[Ali Mujahidin]

I am afraid I have never read anywhere in the Quran or the Hadith that there is such a thing as having a girlfriend or fiancée. Perhaps some more knowledgeable brother or sister can shed some light on this matter.

 

[highway4]

I am afraid I have never read anywhere in the Quran or the Hadith that there is such a thing as having a girlfriend or fiancée. Perhaps some more knowledgeable brother or sister can shed some light on this matter.

Honestly i think been refered as a fiance is cultural custom or something.. Its not in Islam...

fiancee just seems to mean your intending to marry

 

[Darth Ultor]

You have to get to know who he or she is before marriage somehow.

 

[Amat Allah]

No boyfriends, No girlfriends and the fiancée should stay home with her parent and never go out with her fiance ever cause he is still stranger...

and when they become married then they can do whatever they want according the Shari`aa...

 

[Darth Ultor]

So you just marry a person you don't know anything about?

 

[Amat Allah]

why not to know everything about him?

I got the men of my family and they can ask about him everywhere and bring me his detailed biography if I want and I can also ask his mother, sisters and their neighbors in my own ways to know what I want...By Allah`s Willing...and there is no much hidden anymore cause backbiting nowadays is like the gum in some people`s mouths...May Allah guide them Ameeen and if Allah wanted to test me with something then I got nothing in my hand but my Duaa to Him to help me to bear all of His tests, succeed them and be accepted to Him...

and Allah taught us an amazing Duaa in Qur`aan to be said:"Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun (pious people)" Ameeen and if a female; she can replace wives with husbands...and it is enough for me to say this duaa to Allah and I trust Allah %100 that He will grant me such a husband, offspring and make me from Al Muttaqun...Ameen

dating and such things will only lead to (......) everyone knows what I mean...each one must be patient and keep Allah in his/ her mind always and forever...and must remember that he/she will only take or have what Allah had written for him/her ...

May Allah grant each one of you the perfect match Ameeeeeeen

 

[Ramadhan]

So you just marry a person you don't know anything about?

Let's see.
It is very normal and accepted that non-muslims in western countries date and even live together for few years before they get married in order to know each other. Now, what is the divorce rates in those countries?
Let's compare to Islamic countries and see the same statistics.

 

[Trumble]

Let's see.
It is very normal and accepted that non-muslims in western countries date and even live together for few years before they get married in order to know each other. Now, what is the divorce rates in those countries?
Let's compare to Islamic countries and see the same statistics.

Are you seriously suggesting that the cause of lower divorce rates is that couples who hardly know each other before marriage somehow get on much better than those who did?! The difference is cultural.. were you to compulsarily introduce arranged marriages for non-muslims in, say, the UK, while leaving divorce laws and attitudes to divorce the same, few would last more than a few months.

 

[Ramadhan]

Are you seriously suggesting that the cause of lower divorce rates is that couples who hardly know each other before marriage somehow get on much better than those who did?!

I am not suggesting anything, I am only presenting facts.

The difference is cultural.. were you to compulsarily introduce arranged marriages for non-muslims in, say, the UK, while leaving divorce laws and attitudes to divorce the same, few would last more than a few months.

Instead of presenting evidence, you are merely presenting your opinion not backed up by facts.

I thought as an atheist you should be big on hard facts and evidence and not merely belief?
Or is that why you became an atheist?

although I think you maybe right, while Islam provides a complete prescription of how we should live our life (and not merely "you cannot date") that would give muslims the best and complete guidance to live the best life, non-muslims do not have that luxury. Had current non-muslims in western countries been forced in an arranged marriage, it would probably last even less than a few months, as the pursuit of non-muslims is instant gratification. Sooner after their arranged marriage, they'll start going clubbing, drinking, have other sex, and annul their arranged marriage the next day. Non-muslims do not believe in the concept of "sin" and even if they do believe, they trust that their sins have been exchanged by jesus death, so yeah... rock on!

Also, you mentioned "divorce laws and attitude towards divorce".
This had me chuckled because it shows your ignorance about divorce in Islam, quite possibly clouded by influence of christians attitude towards divorce.

In actuality, it is the reverse. While in christianity divorce is ouright banned (catholic) or very frowned upon and hard to do (protestant), in Islam, a husband only has to say "I divorce you" and mean it, and they are instantly divorced. So do you not find it amazing that divorce rates among observant muslims are extremely low even with such easy divorce law?
Meanwhile, my american friends' parents had to wait for years before they could finalise their divorces, and yet they couldnt wait that long and already had boyfriends/girlfriends while still technically married.

Next time, maybe you need to do some study first before saying something about Islam that only come from your own prejudice.

 

[Trumble]

I am not suggesting anything, I am only presenting facts.

Your implication was quite clear.

Instead of presenting evidence, you are merely presenting your opinion not backed up by facts.

Indeed it was an opinion. It is not possible to provide facts regarding a hypothetical that will never happen. Nonetheless I defy you to find half a dozen Western atheists, Jews, Buddhists or Christians who would disagree with me. It is you making the bizarre claim that needs justification, in plausibly linking one fact to the other.

although I think you maybe right, while Islam provides a complete prescription of how we should live our life (and not merely "you cannot date") that would give muslims the best and complete guidance to live the best life, non-muslims do not have that luxury. Had current non-muslims in western countries been forced in an arranged marriage, it would probably last even less than a few months, as the pursuit of non-muslims is instant gratification.

Er, no. Actually in this context it's usually the pursuit of someone they know well, love, and want to be with. Which, baring a large slice of luck, an arranged marriage makes pretty unlikely.

This had me chuckled because it shows your ignorance about divorce in Islam, quite possibly clouded by influence of christians attitude towards divorce.

And that had me chuckling as you seem totally incapable of recognising the prime importance of cultural factors other than Islam, which is my whole point.

Next time, maybe you need to do some study first before saying something about Islam that only come from your own prejudice.

Next, time - again, maybe you need to both read more carefully and keep your advice to yourself.

 

[Ramadhan]

Er, no. Actually in this context it's usually the pursuit of someone they know well, love, and want to be with. Which, baring a large slice of luck, an arranged marriage makes pretty unlikely.

Well, the results speak for themselves as we can see from the statistics.

And that had me chuckling as you seem totally incapable of recognising the prime importance of cultural factors other than Islam, which is my whole point.

such as?
Please show us the statistics of cultural factors, Islamic laws and divorce rates.

 

[sabr*]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​

If this topic is a sincere question read the following thread. Insha Allah

Muslim Marriage Process!

http://www.islamicboard.com/family-society/134292619-muslim-marriage-process.html

 

[sohail1234]

assalam o alikum
islam dont allow to make girl friend and boy friend even if both of them are engaged... engaged people are not allow to make long calls to understand each other. The best way to understand each other is to meet in front of your family member. it is legal otherwise you are not allowed to meet alone

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Muslim man and woman shouldn´t meet alone even they are not thinking to marry. Unfortunately in every situations is it not possible. In some countries and cultures you can´t ask mahram with you when you go to make some work. Like I have worked as social advisor, some my customers have been men (muslim men yes yes). I have had to meet them alone. I have told them that I am professional and everything they tells me will stay just to my mind.

It is called as the professional secrecy.

Before meeting I of course asked if they want that some other person is at the present. Imam, member of family, friend... Sometimes matters they wanted to talk were so hurt they wanted to talk to just me alone.